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AIBU?

To think those who post a lot on social media are generally unhappy in reality?

127 replies

Whatsgoingonwithmyhead · 14/01/2024 15:58

Just a conversation I was having.

Do you think those who post a lot on Instagram are unhappy or insecure?

I’m not taking about those who post because it’s part of the work or business just to be clear

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

345 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
27%
You are NOT being unreasonable
73%
decisionssmecisions · 14/01/2024 20:35

@Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter you aren't answering my question though? I don't follow or watch the Kardashians but as I said I'm still aware of them & judge & am critical of the Kardashian culture particularly as I work with teenagers. I also judge someone like Donald Trump, a lot! Why would that stop me from spending my day how I want or be a reflection of my own personal happiness?

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NonPlayerCharacter · 14/01/2024 20:39

decisionssmecisions · 14/01/2024 20:31

I don't think there is one, actually. MN is a discussion forum; I'm perfectly aware I might see a viewpoint I disagree with or find silly, but I can't block users or sign up to them and it's in the nature of the platform. You don't know what you'll see until you look, although to be fair you can guess

You can't tell from a thread titled "to think those that post a lot on social media are generally unhappy in reality" what it might be about?

Sure, and I'm aware I'll come against some viewpoints I don't agree with and possibly find annoying or silly. But I'll also be engaging and responding in a way I wouldn't on Facebook and see some views I find interesting and insightful. I've joined a discussion. I haven't signed up to see Jenny's content and deliberately kept it on my feed when I know that I hate everything Jenny posts.

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MalcolmsMiddle · 14/01/2024 20:40

Meh - I was the opposite, had a great life 2011 - 2018 and made regular updates on social media. Since then I've had a heartbreak, gained a couple of stones and made an unwise career move. My FB pic is from 2019 and I barely make one post a month.


That said, I do thing there's something in it for couples - the more lovey dovey posts the more fragile the relationship.

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QuizzlyBears · 14/01/2024 20:41

Nope. Not all the time, at least. I do find though that people who want to believe that everyone lies on social media are generally the unhappiest ones and are hoping everyone else is as miserable as they are.

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CeeceeBloomingdale · 14/01/2024 20:45

I can see it I'm some people I follow. Huge over sharing and seeking validation, posting multiple times a day and talking to themselves through social media. I also see other people who regularly post then can move away and not wait for likes or replies. It takes all sorts and not everyone fits your model.

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mightydolphin · 14/01/2024 20:46

I post on social as a way of organising/documenting my family memories. I take so many photos and it can seem overwhelming to go through them, but I can look back on my Instagram story archives or at my posts. I generally do this at the end of a year or to see what my first DC looked and acted like at a certain stage of babyhood in comparison to my second child.

It is also a fantastic way to share family updates with everyone from old uni friends to Great Aunt Bessie. I don't have to message them all individually.

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Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 14/01/2024 20:57

decisionssmecisions · 14/01/2024 20:35

@Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter you aren't answering my question though? I don't follow or watch the Kardashians but as I said I'm still aware of them & judge & am critical of the Kardashian culture particularly as I work with teenagers. I also judge someone like Donald Trump, a lot! Why would that stop me from spending my day how I want or be a reflection of my own personal happiness?

I think you misunderstood my points tbh.

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MissTrip82 · 14/01/2024 21:08

You mean social media like the site we’re on now?

Not really, I think it’s more about extroverts being more likely to share in all areas and introverts being less likely to understand that. I’m introverted and private, I share a lot less than more outgoing friends.

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Clevs · 14/01/2024 21:12

I was having a conversation with someone recently about social media posts. Those that are normally posting several times a day and then hardly ever post, or those that never post and then post loads all of a sudden are usually signs that something is not right in their lives.

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2or3whatsittobe · 14/01/2024 21:20

I post when I’m happy. For me I like to use social media to look back on the happy times and memories, a bit like a scrapbook. And I love seeing what friends have been up to, seeing them happy makes me happy. I don’t post on there when I’m having a crap time, not because I’m trying to present some perfect life, but just for me because it’s about sharing happy memories

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ImthatBoleyngirl · 14/01/2024 21:24

I post more when I'm happy than when I'm feeling low. When I'm down, I can't be arsed, feel anxious that I'll be judged, and just don't care about anything.

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StarDolphins · 14/01/2024 21:24

I think you’re right op. The constant staged posts stating my 🌎 tagging their bf/gf are the ones that Ime are the most insecure & the genuinely (again Ime/o) are the ones that are quietly confident.

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chickenrunmum · 14/01/2024 21:25

Yes

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MikStone · 14/01/2024 21:28

I used to post a lot on social media but I seem to have lost interest in it recently. I used to be on it constantly and since Christmas I’ve barely even opened it. I just can’t be bothered with it anymore. I don’t think it’s a reflection on my mental state

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Chesterdoodle · 14/01/2024 22:05

@Clevs interesting view. Generally I don't post, but every now amd again I will post a few things, just because I opened the App. Its not a reflection there is something wrong in my life. I've lost interest in FB now and disabled my account
I have a friend who documents her life on facebook. Without speaking to her, I could previously see what she was doing morning, noon and night. Endless selfies, it got boring. Perhaps self absorbed?

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RejuvenatedJJanuary · 14/01/2024 22:12

I can't remember the specifics but there was a talk I went to once and it was all about self esteem and the need for validation.

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Allthatwegotisthispalebluedot · 14/01/2024 22:30

I post a lot on social media (pictures on insta only!) when I am happy and busy. Nothing gushy or anything about my relationship (other than a photo of us together in a nice place, and absolutely nothing about my feelings or any annoying hashtags!). When I am miserable I post barely anything.

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keylemon · 14/01/2024 22:31

Social media like instagram is heaven for narcissists. Also, for people who love pretending their life is happy. I always think of Gabby Petito her posts were so far from the reality she was living.

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Flyhigher · 14/01/2024 22:37

Don't think so. When I'm really bad I don't post at all.
It's addictive certainly. I think it's a sign of having a lot on. But when I'm really really happy I loved sharing it. Now I share happy snippets also to try to make myself happier.

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SerenityNowInsanityLater · 14/01/2024 22:55

Social media like instagram is heaven for narcissists. Also, for people who love pretending their life is happy. I always think of Gabby Petito her posts were so far from the reality she was living.

Gosh, that's a good point and actually obliterates my earlier post. Not to derail the thread but... what an utterly sad case that was. Have you ever listened to the Crime Analyst podcast (she does an amazing job on Gabby Petito)?

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ThreeTreeHill · 14/01/2024 23:16

I think that there is definitely a type of person that posts as you say. I have 2 friends that are medium level influences and they would definitely fit that bill, everytime they've posted something I've been involved in it's been total BS and heavily edited as well

I also used to have a friend who would get dressed up for the night out, take pictures with us and then go to bed and post about what a great time she'd had. Is a very prolific SM user now.

You just have to take SM with a pinch of salt. It doesn't really tell you much about how happy someone is or what their life is like. I think if someone just has a small following of friends and family, a private Instagram and posts holiday snaps etc then no they are just probably an oversharer, but I question when people have large followings of essential strangers and wonder why they want to share everything they do. No one cares bar your parents and one or two friends

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Januaryisthepits · 14/01/2024 23:21

@Clevs I post in a bulk, perhaps every few weeks/a month or so, I tend to put things in a reel or bulk some pics together from the last few months…is that weird/the sign of a problem. I definitely don’t post when feeling meh/down

I also notice people post less/interact less than they did Pre covid, everyone seemed happier then and friends interacted more on posts

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ThreeTreeHill · 14/01/2024 23:22

Also most people who post frequently on SM only post say the fancy meals out, pretty holiday pictures, photos of them looking good. And there has to be a bragging/attention seeking element to wanting so many people to see this. Unless your followers are your family and 10 friends of course their is a "look how good my life is" "look how much fun I'm having". I don't think it necessarily makes them unhappy but their definitely a validation element

Like Jan and Tim down the road showing their holiday pics are only showing you them to brag about their holiday. Same as Instagram.

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MaryShelley1818 · 14/01/2024 23:29

I post photos, not terribly exciting photos but it's where I keep all my photo albums and I enjoy having the memories to look back on. I don't gush about my relationship, although he's obviously in family photos. I'm very happy. I think people are really overthinking a lot, or just for some reason don't like to believe that lots of people are genuinely happy.
I don't have Instagram and nothing I do is Instagram worthy from what I gather.

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Spicybeanburger · 14/01/2024 23:44

I'm not one of those people so no skin in the game. But I think it's a bit of a reach tbh. I think maybe the ones who post loads about how happy they are or how good their relationship is. Maybe that's what you mean and you have quite a narrow experience of social media? But in my experience some people use ur lots in a range of ways and it's certainly not a desperate attempt to look good, sorted or happy.

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