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AIBU?

To think those who post a lot on social media are generally unhappy in reality?

127 replies

Whatsgoingonwithmyhead · 14/01/2024 15:58

Just a conversation I was having.

Do you think those who post a lot on Instagram are unhappy or insecure?

I’m not taking about those who post because it’s part of the work or business just to be clear

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

345 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
27%
You are NOT being unreasonable
73%
Lwrenagain · 14/01/2024 17:42

Such a loaded question this one, but very interesting. I think it's person dependent, some people love sharing their lives, some want to convince themselves their lives are worth sharing and feel a boost from getting likes.
I don't use social media anymore, it began to really upset me and mentally I've been happier away from the toxicity of it all. And MN is my online community these days. I like that I recognise some posters names, id never pick them out of a line up but I know I respect and value their opinions. But I wasn't much of a poster tbh, I'm weirdly private for someone who loves chatting away on this busy platform 😂

My sil posts the most amazing pictures, matching clothes for her Dcs, always somewhere new and often expensive, anything from zoos, legoland, urban farms, gastro pubs, mountains and holidays and I adore her sons, but they seem sad underneath the constant "insta life", but then again, she's a bitter person underneath her lovely pictures. (I'm salty about her behaviour towards my baby atm and just using your thread to moan, sorry 😂😂😂) and her likes and comments of how gorgeous her home is and it is, it's a big new build detached, shes sahm, Pinterest style everything, every meal is an event for her kids, she's a wannabe momfluencer, but if you ever see unstaged pictures, they all look miserable. And she doesn't really appreciate her lovely lot, which is so sad.
The things bil has done to try making her happy has been quite exhausting for him and nothing is good enough, which is infuriating.
I would love her to see the wonderful things she has, wonderful husband, a family that love her and most importantly her gorgeous kids, but she seems to struggle with jealousy, what they say here, comparison is the thief of joy?
She cried once her neighbour got shutters because bil said the blinds weren't needing replacing etc and they couldn't really justify it, but she'll post pictures of some elaborate meal she's cooked with a massive smile, but secretly she'll be in the throes of a tantrum.

My favourite social media posters are the ones who write mad shit like, "can't trust no one, every1 is a rat" 😂

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TrashedSofa · 14/01/2024 17:43

I think it's a mixture and one can't generalise. There's definitely some stuff on there that's obviously people overcompensating. But there are also some people who just put everything they think and experience on social media. So if they're having a bad day, they tell everyone, but they also tell everyone if there was a big queue at the supermarket or what their DP said about the weather. You're just more likely to remember the rants than the I went to the park this morning posts.

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171513mum · 14/01/2024 17:48

Maddy70 · 14/01/2024 16:49

I post a lot. I couldn't be happier. I largely use it as a diary and look back at my memories every day. I like to remind myself of the beautiful place I live and my lovely times with my friemds and family. Makes me very grateful

I could have written this. Facebook memories are my favourite thing, I love seeing all the nice things we did or funny things that happened when the kids were little. Mostly I post so my parents can see what we're up to.

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PinkyBlueMe · 14/01/2024 17:55

Silly assumption. I'm in the category of other PPs in that I use it a bit like a diary and love looking at memories in the years that follow. I also see it as "back up" for some of my favourite photos that are mostly only on my phone otherwise!
Normal Facebook posts sharing events/outings can't be construed as meaning someone is unhappy.
However, I do know some people that gush on social media about the love of their lives and constantly post loved up pics and adoring tributes to their other half, and I've seen a pattern of them splitting/separating.

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Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 14/01/2024 17:57

decisionssmecisions · 14/01/2024 17:27

Overall perhaps, although I often wonder about the happiness of those who analyse other's posting habits too.

I'm personally not too bothered about what others post however I have young dc & work with teenagers so for me there are definitely wider discussions to be had around social media, what people project on it, advertising etc so analysing & having opinions on it are very important imo. Im not sure why that would be conflated with my own personal happiness?

Perhaps analyse was the wrong word, as proper analysis can be useful. I'm thinking more of those who are a bit judgemental of others in their analysis, and waste just as much time on SM judging peoples posts as others do posting.

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DRS1970 · 14/01/2024 17:57

I tend to think a great deal of social media users present a rose tinted portrayal of their lives - choosing to post only the good bits, or the things that will generate a following, or likes, or even delighting in making others envious.

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DyslexicPoster · 14/01/2024 17:58

No, not really. SIL posts multiple times a day. Everything is always perfect and they are held in great regard. The pictures are true but it's not the whole story and I don't envy parts of her life that she doesn't share. I do however wonder if she is vacuous if I'm honest. She is lovelyin person and doesnt seem self absorbed but on SM id someoneeg has a baby, its picturesof her holding the baby. Every photo she posts is of her. She has other take 50% of the photos of her. Posting daily pictures of cleveage, in her undies etc. I wonder if she will be doing this at 70. But she is happy, very happy and I'm happy for her. I'd not swop my life for hers. I do giggle with the kids "look at aunty's undies". I'm going to hell.

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HettieHampshire · 14/01/2024 18:03

Yes

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canta · 14/01/2024 18:11

I think if you’re a private person (which I am), it’s hard to understand the mindset of people who post a lot. I don’t look at SM that often but when I do I am always shocked by some of the stuff people post. Most recent was an acquaintance filming her kids reaction to being told they are going to Disneyland then lots and lots about their trip. I could never imagine sharing my kids online like that!

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Overloadimplode · 14/01/2024 18:12

I think they are just sharers. Before fb they probably made an effort to email friends, before that they probably phoned or wrote. Some people lime to share and some don't.

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DemBonesDemBones · 14/01/2024 18:15

It doesn't exactly take hours to post something, does it?! I like posting, I probably post a lot by most standards. Some days I'm happy, some days I'm not. No big deal.

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CaramelMac · 14/01/2024 18:16

I don’t think you can generalise, nobody post pictures of the bad times, why would they?

I know a couple of people who are ‘influencers’ in particular fields and they sometimes post things that misrepresent what they’ve been doing or how things were but they’re usually trying to sell something so I think that’s a bit different.

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SometimesNine · 14/01/2024 18:38

Social media is what you make of it. For me it's a creative outlet, and I've met a lot of like-minded people, who are passionate about their hobby. I love Insta, and post pretty regularly, mostly my sketches, though food and occasional trips appear as well among my drawings.
I don't post anything for validation. I belong to a group of people from all over the world who love ink and pens, and are very encouraging, kind and generally inspiring.

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NonPlayerCharacter · 14/01/2024 18:42

Overall perhaps, although I often wonder about the happiness of those who analyse other's posting habits too.

Agreed.

I get irritated by people complaining that everyone on their feed is boastful and dishonest and whatnot. Facebook is, what, close to 20 years old now? Most of us who have it have been on it since around the mid 00s. If you haven't worked out yet how to hide the people who piss you off, isn't that on you? You're choosing to see it!

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decisionssmecisions · 14/01/2024 18:42

I think they are just sharers. Before fb they probably made an effort to email friends, before that they probably phoned or wrote. Some people lime to share and some don't.

My mum always jokes that the people who do this are her generations “come round on Friday & look at our holiday snaps” crew 😆

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MailMe1 · 14/01/2024 18:42

I think amongst people I know it’s showing off and vanity BUT what lies beneath that? Insecurity? External validation.

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decisionssmecisions · 14/01/2024 18:48

I get irritated by people complaining that everyone on their feed is boastful and dishonest and whatnot. Facebook is, what, close to 20 years old now? Most of us who have it have been on it since around the mid 00s. If you haven't worked out yet how to hide the people who piss you off, isn't that on you? You're choosing to see it!

Lol! So you get irritated about people complaining about something they are choosing to see whilst simultaneously complaining about something you are choosing to see…

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IncompleteSenten · 14/01/2024 18:50

No idea.
I expect its a mix.
Maybe posting makes them happy in itself.

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decisionssmecisions · 14/01/2024 18:51

@Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter Im certainly judgemental of the whole Kardashian sm culture & the impact on young people. Again I’m not sure what that says about my personal happiness?

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SallyWD · 14/01/2024 18:53

Not necessarily. There's an element of neediness to some people who post a lot. However, I do know quite a few very confident, happy people who post a lot. They just love communicating! I also know some very unhappy, insecure people who never use social media.

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JaceLancs · 14/01/2024 18:54

I’m quite happy and post regularly on Instagram - mainly viewed by friends and family usually about holidays, pets or events eg birthdays - I don’t use Facebook so it’s my way of keeping in touch

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lemonmeringueno3 · 14/01/2024 18:54

In my friendship group, it is certainly the case that those posting frequently to sm are also the ones who are trying to project an image that does not represent reality.

The ones in unhappy marriages post about their wonderful marriages.

The ones who are insecure about their appearance post endless selfies.

The ones with money worries post about their latest credit card purchase.

But I don't suppose my small sample is representative.

I do wonder whether some people who post very prolifically might be very self centred or narcissistic. It is as if they think the world is interested in their life, opinions, nights out, purchases. As if they were famous almost. But live and let live I say. It's their sm account and they can post what they like.

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NonPlayerCharacter · 14/01/2024 18:55

decisionssmecisions · 14/01/2024 18:48

I get irritated by people complaining that everyone on their feed is boastful and dishonest and whatnot. Facebook is, what, close to 20 years old now? Most of us who have it have been on it since around the mid 00s. If you haven't worked out yet how to hide the people who piss you off, isn't that on you? You're choosing to see it!

Lol! So you get irritated about people complaining about something they are choosing to see whilst simultaneously complaining about something you are choosing to see…

Yep, but I'm not making wild extrapolations from that about the inner workings of their lives and minds and happiness.

Although it might be fun, now I think about it...

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KittySmith1986 · 14/01/2024 19:01

This was certainly true for me. Posted a lot during a sad and tough time. The likes and comments gave me a dopamine hit and validation. Hardly post at all nowadays.

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littlebopeepp234 · 14/01/2024 19:01

It depends what they’re posting I suppose. If they’re sharing other peoples posts or news posts then I would say no. If they are posting pictures of holidays, days out and sharing memories then again probably not. But if they’re constantly posting pictures of themselves/ selfies/ showing off and/or making big statements about their husbands or boyfriends every 2 seconds then yes I’d say they are very much unhappy people and feel the need to seek attention from people on social media as some form of validation. I also find those who post a lot of memes are also unhappy/ attention seeking. So are those who seem to air their dirty laundry on facebook and always seem to be involved in sort of drama.

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