Scared at home

[RightSaidFredd0]

Hi everyone, sorry to post here, I just needed some quick responses.

I have anxiety and a couple of my main symptoms are being easily startled and overthinking to extreme levels.

I am home alone almost every weekend. I manage fine in the day but once it hits night time and I'm in my room, I feel terrified. I have very noisy neighbours (screaming, shouting, crying, banging for the majority of the day, everyday) and because they are so loud, it sounds like the noise is coming from my house, like someone is stomping upstairs. I also cannot get used to the noises the house makes, mainly creaky floor boards when the house cools down. Because of all this noise, I get so paranoid that someone is in my house or that the banging is someone trying to break in.

When I get tired, I find myself trying to fight the sleep as I'm too scared to fall asleep, I also keep a baseball bat next to my bed. I've checked door handles and windows multiple times to make sure they're locked and checked all of the rooms in the house. I have to check that the doors are actually locked and I have to film myself locking them otherwise I end up convincing myself that they're actually open, same with the windows. I usually check everything 4 times or more otherwise it doesn't feel right.

I appreciate that this sounds nuts but could really do with some advice to help me get some rest tonight.

Thank you x

Put the baseball bat away because if someone did break in, they'd probably beat you with it.

The over-checking and filming can be a sign of OCD as you're probably aware, have you spoken to a doctor about it?

I'm sorry you're going through this

Sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. Sounds awful.

short term - something that helped me when I went through something similar (but less intense) was falling asleep with comedy shows/podcasts on. Nothing atmospheric etc, too heavy and added to paranoia. But as light as possible. Also masked other noises that my brain would run away with.

long term: I would encourage you to talk to your GP or OCD UK because this sounds like OCD (I have experience on this).

hope you are able to have a good nights sleep tonight.

Also - it’s not nuts. But it sounds hard and unsustainable for your mental and physical health.

I could have written your post a few years ago! In the evening I put music or some easy watching tv on and it drowns out the noise from outside. Not loud but loud enough. I also wait till I’m exhausted and then fall asleep so I usually sleep through. CBT really helped me too. I’d look at self-referral on the NHS website. It’s exhausting feeling so scared so often.

Hi, thank you for responding so quickly. I've put the bat away. I haven't spoken to a doctor, I didn't think OCD would have been something to consider as I assumed it was anxiety related. I'm not sure how I'd approach this with the doctor as I feel stupid with regards to what I've wrote. What would be the next steps after speaking with the doctor? Therapy? diagnosis? xx

Get a house alarm, once you're going to bed put the alarm on and it should take all of that anxiety away and do the work for you.

Hi, thank you for replying! I've recently found a comedy podcast that I'm really enjoying so I'll put that on. Would you be able to give me some more info on OCD as I assumed what I'm experiencing was anxiety related. xx

I’ve found that a Blink camera system has really helped. When I’m alert to a strange noise, I can be reassured that there is nobody in the house because the camera hasn’t been triggered.

Sound like a mixture of anxiety and ocd.

Best solution would be to move somewhere quieter is possible!

Also, I thought your body’s response sounds pretty sensible given the circumstances!

Sounds awful, on the plus side anyone thinking about breaking in is going choose a quiet neighbourhood where nothing is happening. Neighbour making racket and shouting and screaming isn’t a good target!

I used to get scared at nights on my own then I figured if it actual happened I would be more than scared enough in the moment. And stressing before hand wouldn’t help it would just be wasted stress! Could you get a basic alarm fitted or motion alarm on a door that way it can give you some more peace of mind.

Hi, I have been doing similar with sleep and it sort of helps but I realise that it's probably a short term thing. Yes, I will look into self-referral via NHS, I've used their system previously. I am considering private therapy though, as with the NHS, you only get 8 sessions and then you have to self-refer and join the waiting list again (not sure if it's the same everywhere), thank you x

Ocd is an anxiety disorder. Your living environment is not helpful. Can you move?

I live in a terrace and when you step out, it's a public footpath immediately, no private driveway. Would setting up a camera/ring doorbell still be allowed in these circumstances?

Does leaving a light on downstairs help?
I have a lamp on a timer and I convince myself that no one's going to break in thinking someone is up.
Besides, people don't often break in unless they know there is something they want. Most break ins are opportunists who find something open. You're diligent about locking up so threat is minimal.

I'm hoping to move within a year or two (still at home with mom)

I will speak with my mom and see if this is something we can do, thank you for the idea, I never thought of that x

I didn't realise this. And not at the moment, no. Renting alone is more than I can afford unfortunately

I do leave the down stairs light on which helps a little but all of the noises send me into a sort of spiral.

I have the chain on the door too which also helps me feel a bit better.

Just be aware that house alarms can be triggered randomly.
Ours was triggered once by a balloon and we had a time where it kept getting triggered. I went around the sensors after a third time and found a spider and it's web on one. That's what had been triggering it and it is terrifying when it gets triggered at night.

Oh dear! I am very easily startled due to my anxiety for example: sudden movements like someone opening a door or my phone alarm. It usually causes a migraine

How old are you? I ask because I felt a lot like you in my 20s but the older I got the more it eased off until now I never get worried/scared.

I've worked in various crime related areas for years and honestly burglary is not a particularly common crime anymore and the majority of burglaries happen in the day because someone leaves a window open or a door unlocked. Night time burglaries rarely happen, especially if they have to actually break in. It just isn't worth it these days in the average home. Majority of cases I come across listed as burglary are from business premises.

If you are prone to worry, give yourself a really relaxing evening routine. So no crime dramas or shows on TV. Maybe a relaxing bath or shower if you prefer. A hot chocolate or a herbal tea. Listen to something soothing in bed or read a nice light hearted book.

I'm 25, I've felt this way for a few years now but it's intensified with regards to checking things are locked and filming it.

It's really reassuring to know this and I hope I can get some sleep.

Thank you for the tips on an evening routine, it means a lot

I'd suggest using a meditation app like Calm which has short stories, music and sounds to help you sleep, also a free meditation app to listen to. They do two things-they block out the creaks and sounds and they help you relax to sleep. But also I agree with everyone else, do see the GP and ask about a referral for OCD, or even medication to help short term. You can't spend every night this worried.

OP, I could have written your post two years ago almost exactly word for word so I can completely understand what you’re going through. During lockdown especially, I used to stay up all night until my fiancé was getting up for work around 4:30am before I tried to quickly get to sleep in bed before he left so I felt ‘safe’ to fall asleep and when that didn’t work I found I could only fall asleep on the couch downstairs in completely silence so that I could be on alert if the door began to open and so on. I’m sorry I don’t have any magical cure but I realise now that it was all anxiety and a manifestation of my poor mental health at the time. I started taking anti-depressants (I realise they aren’t for everyone) and CBT/ therapy would probably have been very beneficial in hindsight.
I just wanted to say that you are definitely not alone and not in any way being silly for your response. I look back now and can hardly believe how I used to be so there is definitely hope that you will get past this! 💐