Wiv, free and three, have and of

[idontlikealdi]

Please help me cope. Dds are picking up language skills as expected from their peers. I can't cope with it. I'm ND if that makes the impact bigger. Not sure.

When they mispronounce I get so wound up, I do correct them which drives them and me mad.

For me it's basic understanding, do you have three things or free things, are you talking about our roof or Ruth, what is wiv?

Am I wrong to try and enforce it?

Yabu. They can speak how they like.

Gross? Really?!?

I have a 5yo who doesn't pronounce her R's properly yet. I'm hoping she grows out of it, but it's causing trouble with her spellings - church is chuch, frog is fog or fwog. I know it's a feature in some less desirable regional accents, but, well... I'd hate it to hold her back in life.

I agree, you need to correct them every single time. Lazy speech like that absolutely makes people judge you, even if they claim they don’t.

I doubt the intelligence of anyone who doesn't understand that regional variations and (in some cases) difficulty enunciating particular sounds have nothing to do with intelligence.

If you aren't able to put the words in context for example it should be pretty clear from the sentence if someone is talking about Ruth or a roof then I don't think that reflects very well on you.

Yes this is what jumps out at me.

The OP is more worried about sounding unintelligent than actually being unintelligent.

Unless she tries to cover it up by speaking well, but that low level of comprehension will become apparent during most conversations I would have thought?

I doubt the intelligence of anyone who doesn't understand that regional variations and (in some cases) difficulty enunciating particular sounds have nothing to do with intelligence.

that’s not what people are saying.

I do not say ‘like’ at every opportunity. I do not say wiv or ovs
I dont say ‘whatevs’ That isn’t the regional accents it’s teen speak.

It’s a habit and it should be corrected.

The OP doesn't understand 'wiv' even in context.

And then goes on to worry more about sounding unintelligent.

But it IS TEEN SPEAK and doesn't need 'correcting ffs

I don't go into meetings at 52 saying 'scav us a doog mate or spied your apple ringo' - teens like having a secret language and annoying us with it - do keep 'correcting' them - they know it's hitting a nerve and will up the anti!

Tale as old as time. Your own parents doubtless rolled their eyes at your own teenage language. Some of those patterns likely stuck around for the long haul and others faded away. You likely also code switch without realising it, just as your children probably already do.

I really enjoyed this article from Susie Dent last year about how young women have always been the drivers of language evolution. https://inews.co.uk/opinion/international-womens-day-young-women-innovators-english-language-2190193

I totally agree with OP. Yes there are regional quirks and slang but it’s spelled WITH and THREE. Pronounce the “th”!! Plenty of adults pronounce those words that way, it’s not limited to teenagers.

I’ll get flamed for this but generally the people I’ve met who say “we was” and “was you” aren’t people I ever choose to associate with as yes, it does make me think we have had different upbringings, lives and will have different outlooks on things and if that makes me a snob, so be it. 🤷‍♀️

Yeah... Maybe don't ever say that second paragraph out loud in real life.

Or maybe do, at every opportunity, so people know what you really think of them.

Also - do you pronounce your R's?

it does make me think we have had different upbringings, lives and will have different outlooks on things and if that makes me a snob, so be it.

How on earth could that make you a snob?

Narrow-minded, yes.

Bigoted, certainly.

Unwilling to spend any time with people from other countries and cultures, definitely.

But a snob? How?

I’ll get flamed for this but generally the people I’ve met who say “we was” and “was you” aren’t people I ever choose to associate with as yes, it does make me think we have had different upbringings, lives and will have different outlooks on things and if that makes me a snob, so be it

Yeah it does but I think you seem proud of that

I work with children in care, their families and families/children on the edge of care - fuck me if I went in sounding like a news reader and correcting their language I'd never build any relationship.

Thankfully I don't judge people that way - I treat everyone I work with with respect, kindness and understanding - and that seems to work well.

Oh and before anyone jumps on it many many of the families I work with are good, kind, decent people facing a range of issues not evil horrible working class types

Please let them.

I was teased/bullied for being "posh" ie having a southern accent in a northern school in primary. And no, before anyone says, it wasn't a "nicely ribbing fun" tease.
I made the decision that when I went to secondary (different one to most of my primary) I would change my accent, and I did. It made a lot of difference to how I felt if nothing else. I finally felt I fitted in.

People doubt the intelligence of those who cannot pronounce th? Look at those in power across the globe. Well spoken nitwits.

The majority of people I know who say "we was" are teachers . So beneath you , right?

oh and I mean working class in the stereo typical snobs way - I'm working class - and I couldn;t say the letter R until I was 7 thanks for SALT nowt to do with my IQ

YANBU to correct them and emphasise the importance of saying words correctly.
This isn't about accents or regional variations in vocab. Saying "three" so it sounds like "free" isn't an accent. Unless someone has a speech impediment it's simply incorrect.
I say this as someone who has a regional accent and who grew up in a working class community. My mum (left school at 16, worked in a semi skilled job etc.) always banged on about speaking clearly and saying words correctly and would correct me all the time as a child. I'm so glad she did as I genuinely do think it's helped me in my career, which involves working with people from all over the world.
So no. YANBU. At all.

My BIL won't can't pronounce "th" and when he was talking about mobile phone contracts he kept saying that his phone was free. I asked him how he managed to not pay anything, then my sister said that they were with Three

I wasn't being snarky, I genuinely thought that he had a free SIM card

I think you're over reacting. It's perfectly normal for kids that age to mess about with language, to use slang, change accents and pronunciation. It sounds like they are well aware of how to properly pronounce things. Talk to them about how different language is appropriate in different situations and context. Slang at home is fine. At school with teachers it isn't etc

I'm in the US so 'posh' and 'class' weren't really a thing and it wasn't about having the 'correct' accent. It was about grammar, slang, and pronunciation. Both my parents, more my dad who had British parents, insisted on proper grammar & pronunciation and 'discouraged' most slang. It just taught me to be 'bi-slangual'. I used proper grammar & pronunciation at home but spoke to my friends the way they spoke to me.

I wasn't quite as 'bad' with my sons, but I did insist on proper grammar. If they dropped their 'g's or used a slang term I didn't care. I did draw the line at calling me 'Dude' when they were excited, though not very successfully. The closest I got was "Dude Mom".

@ghostyslovesheets
Y7, not Y11. He is having literacy interventions.
Well done to your daughter, she is obviously able to code switch very effectively. Some children cannot, which is why pronunciation matters.

Quite interesting thread.
I made myself speak like the OPs sons (the 80s equivalent) in a futile attempt to fit in at school. I don't speak like that any more, so it doesn't follow that they will continue to do so.
Also I married a dyslexic man who literally can't hear the difference between f/v/th in most words and so when he says free for three it isn't possible to change it because the knowledge of the sounds being different just isn't there.
He's the kindest and most intelligent person I know so if you decided to avoid him on the basis of how he speaks, then more fool you.