Wiv, free and three, have and of

[idontlikealdi]

Please help me cope. Dds are picking up language skills as expected from their peers. I can't cope with it. I'm ND if that makes the impact bigger. Not sure.

When they mispronounce I get so wound up, I do correct them which drives them and me mad.

For me it's basic understanding, do you have three things or free things, are you talking about our roof or Ruth, what is wiv?

Am I wrong to try and enforce it?

I do tree instead of three a lot.(foreign accent) No idea if that's better or worse.

Personally I would just model the correct grammar and pronunciation, without making a big deal of it. It’s not worth alienating them.

Think of it as a second language. They are lucky to grow up being able to speak the way you do, and the way their peers do.

“I can’t understand what they mean if they say roof instead of Ruth” is such utter nonsense. Enough with that disingenuous bullshit. You can understand them, and your panic over this has got nothing to do with neurodiversity. You’re just a giant snob who can’t admit it.

People who think a regional accent, dialect or slang indicates a lack of intelligence or a poor education are, ironically, not very bright, and apparently also lack the education to understand the bare basics of linguistics and code-switching. This isn’t complicated stuff. Judging people’s intelligence on accent (or class) is revolting and bigoted behaviour and if you do it, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

ND or not, you sound like my mother.

Her stopping me and barking 'DON'T GABBLE YOU'RE GABBLING IT'S TRRRRRRRRRRRUTH WITH AN RRRRRRR - RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD OF WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, GABBLE, GABBLE, GABBLE' at me the moment I spoke a little too quickly because I was excited about something and needed to get the words out before I lost my train of thought (ADHD) or she started bellowing and ripping the piss out me caused a full on stammer that has been with me for fifty years.

This would drive me wild.

Like it or no, people judge you by the way you speak. I have told my kids that if they don't use standard English grammar then people might well judge them to be less intelligent than they are.

ETA that I am referring to use of grammar rather than accent

It's not prejudice and classism when you can't comprehend the sentence.

I'd find it very grating too, but I find it hard to believe you don't understand examples like the ones in your OP. You surely know perfectly well what 'wiv' means? And in what context are you realistically likely to be able to mistake 'Ruth' for 'roof'?

Tree instead of three in an Irish accent is fine (or any other) but there is still a differentiation between between tree for three and free

My DD does this too. When she was a teenager she was talking about a film she wanted to see called 'Four' which genuinely had me baffled for a while...

It's not the local accent and neither DH nor I do this so I'm not sure why. More like having a lisp or suchlike maybe. Anyway, I think it's less obvious though maybe not completely gone now she's an adult.

Yanbu

’I’m goin’ tahhhhn’

No - I am going TO town!!!

Regional says it all. If you stay in the same place all your life fair enough. I've lived in many different parts of Britain and if you speak a fairly standard version of English it makes life easier. When I lived "up north" as soon as I spoke to anyone they'd say "you're not from round here are yer?" The accent is enough of a barrier, dialect adds a further division. It's nothing to do with snobbery or elitism just my experience of basic communication within different parts of the UK.

This sounds like discrimination to me, very poor in a hiring manager. And stupid. Accent and dialect are not linked to ability. Look at Bojo.

We speak to financial clients round the world at work.

You can’t have people saying Alright Bruv, we was goin’, free furrty free, wiv.

The other issue is that so many speak, hear and live in this language, that they can’t even write the words properly either, as they hear them in a completely different way to everyone else. That’s the biggest issue.

@cockadoodledandy I hope you never interview DD1 - 3 A's and an A* at A level - currently at a RG Uni and very bright - says 'free' not 'three' and 'bab, mom, buz' as she's a Brummie

Think of all the talent overlooked due to accent prejudice - as a Scouser I faced it all the time - but I am fucking awesome at my job - so no - I don't correct my kids use of regional language and slang - they are chatting to me not delivering the King's speech .

Assuming that the been brought up by people who speak well and his early learning was to speak well, then t's just a phase. My DD and a bunch of her friends started doing this around 12 or so. Now 19 and at Uni, they're all back to speaking like the middle class ex-private school girls that they are. It's an affectation and he'll most likely end up speaking very similarly to you and his Dad once he's grown up a bit.

Kind of reminds me of 'our Cilla' all that money spent of elocution lessons and then making a living out of being Scouse - with the fake accent!

So you claim to understand 'tree' instead of 'three'.

Yet you said in your OP....

For me it's basic understanding, do you have three things or free things, are you talking about our roof or Ruth, what is wiv?

'What is wiv'?

But you can apparently understand 'tree'?

The fake wide-eyes probably make you look like a tit to your DC, that's why you're driving them mad I expect.

Thing is, though, for children with poor literacy, it translates into written errors. I teach an 11 year old who spells 'that' as 'dat', and 'they' as 'vey', and 'with' as 'wiv'. I'm not exaggerating, I have to read his work aloud to have any chance of comprehending and therefore marking it. It absolutely does have a deleterious knock-on effect. I'm not correcting him because I judge him, but because I want him to grow up literate.

That sounds like a you problem though. If you aren't able to put the words in context for example it should be pretty clear from the sentence if someone is talking about Ruth or a roof then I don't think that reflects very well on you. We meet all kinds of people in our day to day lives, it's a skill to be able to understand people who speak with different accents and quirks. Maybe work on developing that skill set so you are able to understand rather than focusing on changing them.

I don’t correct mine - but I know they can switch the Scouse off when they’re not talking to their mates. DH and I are from south Yorks so they were never very likely to have strong accents, but they do say ‘you’ to their grandparents, not ‘youse’.

well a) if they have literacy issues at yr 11 your school needs to step up the lit interventions and b) my DD got 100% in her poetry GCSE paper and an 9 (d) overall and talks like a (her words) 'Brummie chav' - so maybe there are issues and prejudices that need addressing

I absolutely cannot stand it either. It's classless to me and makes me doubt their intelligence.

I went to a christening last year and the vicar couldn't pronounce "th" and it was like nails on a blackboard.

Also ND here

I worked in education. A lot of teachers said ‘yous’

Its annoying and they do grow out of it!!

Mone would text ‘can you pick me up like 10?

I would ask what like 10 means? 5 to 10, 10 past 10?? They soon stopped that!!

Speaking correctly makes a difference! Why would anyone educated want to sound like they aren’t?

Your first sentence would be classless to me. Classy people don't judge someone on their accent. Only hyacinth bouquet types in my experience. Real classy people accept everyone as they are.

It's gross and classless and i grew up on a Yorkshire council estate