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AIBU?

Would you nose around a partner's ex wife's house if you had the chance?

89 replies

IamaPopof · 13/01/2024 12:50

This is prompted by the "Destroy and do not read" thread.

I had to look after my partner's ex wife's house for a few days when he had to work away and I had to feed the dog. It was my first time there without him. Would you use this time to nose around a bit - look at the various rooms , open her wardrobes etc and just be plain nosy or would you feed the dog and leave?

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

146 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
85%
You are NOT being unreasonable
15%
IamaPopof · 13/01/2024 13:26

I think that @Ilovelurchers post is what I think most people would think but then I would be assuming.

OP posts:
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Crumpleton · 13/01/2024 13:28

No...
Infact if the dog was there alone all day I'd have it stop at mine.

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IncompleteSenten · 13/01/2024 13:28

IamaPopof · 13/01/2024 13:24

The point is to see what people say! Perhaps I should have done a poll. I'm wondering how people would react. And AS I SAID it was the other thread that reminded me of this situation .

You should.
A lot of people who would are likely to not want the inevitable outrage and insults that would come with saying yes, I'd probably give in to temptation and open a drawer or two. It'd be 10 pages of omg I can't believe you're such a vile person you're everything that's wrong with the world etc and who can be arsed with that when you're here just killing time on a chatsite?

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xsquared · 13/01/2024 13:29

Have some respect.

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SuperMarioMaker · 13/01/2024 13:30

I wouldn't. Why would you?

My ex left last year and already the 'family' home is now unrecognisable from when my ex lived in it. It would tell ex's new partner nothing about the woman I was when I was with him.

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SoOutingWhoCares · 13/01/2024 13:30

I actually didn't assume you had already snooped.

I just pointed out that you should do to others as you'd want done to yourself,
dead or alive as it's a shitty immoral thing to snoop and then you said I'd missed
the point of your thread and assumed I hadn't read the letter one.

Weird.

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AdoraBell · 13/01/2024 13:31

No. I would be tempted but I would just feed to dog as agreed and leave.

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Rudicoolcat · 13/01/2024 13:40

Personally I wouldn't. Moral compass out of kilter if you're that way inclined...

Anecdotally, friends mother in law went round to feed friends cat whilst her and hubby were away overnight. She snooped, all around the house and in cupboards accidentally trapped said cat in their bedroom without noticing. Friend and hubby came home to a distressed cat who having no access to litter tray had shat on their Egyptian bedding and it had soaked through to the mattress... 🙀💩

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WhatIsHeThinking · 13/01/2024 13:43

No. This shouldn’t even be a question that needs answering. It would be invasive and you’d also technically be trespassing if you went beyond the part of the house from which you fed the dog!

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Frasers · 13/01/2024 13:47

Genuinely no. If I’m trusted to do something then I’d not betray that trust and I also treat people as I wish to be treated, and I’d not want someone snooping on me, someone I trusted to be in my home, I think it’s scummy behaviour to go through someone’s stuff.

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User576326783789 · 13/01/2024 13:49

No. I was with someone who was separated with his ex still living in their flat while it sold and him elsewhere. She went on holiday and he needed to go there to feed a shared pet and he offered me to come with him, I said no way. He didn’t see the issue as he still owned the flat but it seemed odd to me that I’d go there knowing she lived there alone and knew nothing about me. If the shoe was on the other foot and I’d found out my ex’s new gf was snooping about in my home I’d be mortified. Felt very disrespectful!

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HardcoreLadyType · 13/01/2024 13:51

What? No!

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ThisHumanBean · 13/01/2024 13:51

I'd probably have a glance around downstairs (kitchen / bathroom if needed the loo) but wouldnt open cupboards, drawers etc...and definitely would not venture upstairs/look in bedrooms.

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Riverstep · 13/01/2024 13:53

I absolutely would not snoop around. I personally wouldn’t want to be there in the first place so would be in and out as quickly as possible.

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Silverbirchtwo · 13/01/2024 13:55

How on earth do you end up looking after your DP's Ex-wife's house and feeding her dog? Are much more intriguing questions. I can think of zero possible reasons for doing this, or her wanting you to.

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lunarleap · 13/01/2024 13:57

I have absolutely no interest in my husbands ex' wives house. I have my own.

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KarenNotAKaren · 13/01/2024 13:57

I’d nosey around pretty much anyone’s house given half the chance 😂

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blackpanth · 13/01/2024 13:59

Nope feed the dog and leave

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Snowdogsmitten · 13/01/2024 13:59

I wouldn’t. Partially because I would despise it if someone did it to me. Mainly for fear they have an internal camera set up. 😂

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Vitriolinsanity · 13/01/2024 14:01

I would really, really, really want to.

But she might have booby trapped it, so common sense and decency would prevail.

Imagine trying to explain having a bucket of paint tipped on your head when you opened the wardrobe!

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Hatty65 · 13/01/2024 14:01

No I wouldn't. I would think it a gross invasion of privacy, but more than that I think it's extremely unhealthy to be obsessed/concerned about someone's ex wife. I literally could not give a shit about DHs ex wife when I started going out with him.

I knew he'd been married and it had broken up when they just argued most of the time. He had no DC with her and both parties moved on. I'm not interested in what she's like as a person, what she looks like, what her house looks like. Why would I care? I think it's a sign of deep insecurity to be poking around in someone else's private affairs.

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Ellie1015 · 13/01/2024 14:02

I wouldn't snoop even if no chance of getting caught. It is wrong and what would I hope to see that would justify it?

Untidy or immaculate wardrobe? Makes no difference to me. Wouldn't change my feelings about the person i cant see the point and it is wrong.

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viques · 13/01/2024 14:04

I would be worried in case she had set up nanny cams, so would treat it like walking through a department store when you can’t find a till, hands in full view and eyes straight ahead!

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DonnaBanana · 13/01/2024 14:04

I might if there were some letters left out on the side or something like that but importantly I wouldn’t admit it or tell anyone because what is there to gain? I am a respected trusted person and I wouldn’t want to ruin that by admitting what I sometimes do.

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AndThatWasNY · 13/01/2024 14:05

I have been in this situation and actually stayed the night (medical emergency - DH took ex to hospital, I looked after sleeping DSS) I absolutely did not snoop.
I would probably snoop at the dead persons letter though (and wouldn't care if someone did with me, I would be dead!)

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