AIBU for being shocked by my husbands behaviour ?

[Eferr]

Hello everyone,I need some advice as i am being to feel very unresonable.I F 34 and husband 36 have a child with disabilities.
Before we got married we didn't discuss kids at all,we both assumed that we want them one day.
A week after marrying I got pregnant and it was unplanned.
I wasn't ready to have a child but didn't consider abortion ,my husband said maybe we should not keep it.
Our son is now 7 and everytime things get hard with our son and husband gets upset he tells me that I should solely care for him and its not fair to ask him for help since he had asked for an abortion back then.
This is only when he is inconvenienced by the sons behaviour.
I get upset all the time but I have never wished for the abortion as I love my son and even though life is hard is also full with love and purpose.
I know he loves his son deep down but am I unreasonable of being shocked about the things he says ?
I find it very unethical since our son is now here born and well.
Some perspective on this would be very helpful .
Thank you

Don’t let them bully you with the house. Give them the deposit back once it sells but the rest is split equally

You have achieved so much! Getting away from this man, obtaining British citizenship and finding a well paid job. Well done! No way should you go back to him.

And as for the deposit, his family will have to have declared it as a gift. You don’t have to return the money as you may need it. And you are entitled to 50% of the house regardless of who paid what.

It seems like his whole family is a bunch of gaslighters.

Stop listening to him and his horrible family. They are gaslighting you about everything. Any man who could say what he has about his son has no soul. Any man who could say what he has about the mother of his child has no heart. He's absolutely awful and his family are making excuses for his poor behavior, which makes them as bad as he is. Their opinions mean nothing, because they come from a dark, evil place.

You are a good mum, and you have done the best thing you could do for your son by leaving the bastard. Get a solicitor and take every penny you can get, including half the value of the house, because he will doubtless pay you very little, if anything, in future to support his child.

Godspeed you and your child, OP, you are amazing.

Wow what a horrible, horrible man your ex is.

I'm so glad you've got away from him.

Good luck OP.

Get legal advice and get as much as you can, don’t promise in-laws they will get deposit back. They will have had to sign a letter saying it was gifted even if you intended to pay it back, ive helped towards a deposit nd I knew that was the risk.
You will be getting as much as you can to help you provide for your son, it doesn’t sound like your husband will be helping in any practical sense. Your husband helped conceive him he should be providing for him.

Why are you communicating with his horrible family?

Block the lot of them.

When you are ready, speak to a solicitor and initiate a divorce so all this is resolved fairly. Do you have copies of financial documents, pensions, savings etc?

Ignore his family and speak to a lawyer.

you are entitled to half the house- maybe more if you are main carer for son.

These are the exact words that sprang to my mind.

Is there a reason you haven't blocked his family?

They are toxic.

Have you got a solicitor to help sort out the finances?

I have talked with a divorce lawyer and she says I am entitled to half or more of the house because my son has special needs. I have been conditioned by them all these years and I still struggle to defend myself sometimes. I am working through therapy to overcome this and being ASD myself I have problems sometimes with verbal communication if I am being intimidated.
In their mind I am opportunistic and I had planned the divorce long ago but slowly I am getting mentaly stronger and more detached from them and their opinions.

Do you know how to block them on your phone OP? Is that how they contact you?

Well done on leaving him and his toxic family. You and your son deserve so much better. Whatever he is papping on about now - it is for his benefit - he is vile to say the things he has said.

Yes only through the phone ,I am not sure why I am not to be Honest.
I am in a confused state.

Just block them. Do it now.

Please don't go back. Absolute deal breaker this one no going back ever, ever ever.

Your son has a mother who loves him unconditionally and not just when his behaviour is being acceptable.

The father who only wants to love him when his behaviour is acceptable, is quite frankly despicable and not worthy of being a father.

I'm not often left speechless by stuff I read on here, but I am by this.

It's obvious why your XH is such an utter wankstain, because his entire family are as unpleasant as hell.

Absolutely awful, anyone who can say that about their child is disgusting

Do block them

Do keep half the house- they gifted the deposit as a home for their grandchild- which it still is.

I was quite shocked that the house is what they thought and are losing seep over and not their grandsons disabilities is saying that I should be asking help from my parents not his as mine are well off

I don't know how you stayed with his so long, he's an absolute pig, please don't go back. X

You should be incredibly proud of yourself for getting rid of that pathetic excuse for a man.

Stick to your guns and don’t let him or his family bully you. Your son is incredibly lucky to have such a strong woman as his mum.

You are a wonderful strong woman and you have done so well for yourself and your son, getting away from that awful man!

Stuff him and his family - the apple clearly did not fall far from the tree. Get a good solicitor and get everything you are entitled to. It’s securing your son’s future. If the family complain, cut them out, you owe them nothing.

i'd classify that comment as emotionally abusive to both you and your son.
well done on getting out of the relationship.

You have absolutely done the right thing for you and your son. Sending love