Stepmother inheritance - who's right?

[jamiefromcanada]

My father was a widow at a young age, 30, he has two children from his first marriage. He remarried after a few years to a widowed homemaker who had one child from her previous marriage. After a few years they had a child of their own.

Fast forward, my father died at seventy years old and my step-mother lived another fifteen years, until eighty five years old. During their marriage they lived on my fathers income, which he earned handsomely. We all grew up together as one big close happy family, just like the Brady Bunch. shared birthdays, weddings, and parties together.

After my step-mothers death, my half-brother and step-brother never shared the contents of the will with us or not even let us see it. I know that when my step-mother was alive she said many times to many people including myself that all her children were equal to her. After all was said and done, my brothers gave us only 10% of the entire estate. My half-brother took 50% and my step-brother took, 30%.

What's right in this situation? Both morally and legally. I know how I feel, a bit disappointed. My father and stepmother died thinking we were all one big happy family... I want to get other peoples opinions on this. Thanks

I wonder why one brother got 50% and the other 30% - did one fight your corner I wonder and gave up 20% so yourself and your brother got 10% each?

Re. a lawyer for you - seek out International Law firm in Canada that deals with Italian Law.

Why exactly would you think.peoop!e in the Uk would know about Italian inheritance laws🤔
Speal.to.an Italian lawyer?

Italy laws are the most complicated around wills.

A friend has spend £1000s trying to get her fathers will sorted out.
She's now given up.

My advice would be don't bother.

It sounds like this happend a while go if it's all Been sorted since they're deaths BUT as others have said if there was a will it would have gone through probate & its theres no will you can naturally demand a proper full split

BUT (again) its not necessarily unusual that a women/parent would leave her own child 50% of her assets even if she viewed & vocalised that she saw you all equally at the end of the day that was her 'main' child & one she shared a deal grief with (her own husband/his fathers death)
However the remainder should have been a larger amount for you too.

My brother born to both father and step mother got 50%, other brother from step mother got 30% and then my sister an me from father first marriage got 10% each. They said there was no will could be found. I thought we were gonna split it up 25% each, as my step mother lived primarily on my fathers wage and paid for everything, then another 15 years on his pension.

@jamiefromcanada well that's a big drip feed. I'm out

Yes, if you're asking for thoughts about how you feel, of course it's understandable. Your brothers don't seem to have wanted to be open or to share with you.

Is it possible your stepmother left the money to her "children," not realising that wouldn't include you and your whole-sibling because she hadn't adopted you?

As others have said, without looking at your father's and your stepmother's wills you won't know.

So I think that if you're feeling hurt by imagining what their wills might have said, that is unreasonable and you could find out, to be sure.

But it's understandable if you feel hurt about lack if openness with your half and step siblings: perhaps there's a way you could open a conversation with them about how you feel?

It always helps to focus a thread to say you are looking for advice on the interpersonal side not the legal side. Mumsnet loves to solve a technical problem.

what really should have happened is that your parents, your father and step-mother, should have found a way to set up a formalized system of transferring the estate that reflected their feelings about the family.

nothing can be done now though. You can’t go back retroactively and make any of that happen. Money makes people greedy. Your brothers saw a chance to make their own lives easier and didn’t think about the emotional ramifications.

Theres no possible way anybody on mumsnet is going to be able to sort out a inheritance you lost in Italy while your living in Canada ?!?

Surely if your father was wealthy you would just hire a lawyer in Italy to support your cause + Italy dont have disinheritance laws you would legally have had to recieve something for your brother to have recieved his hence the 10% but it still doesn't explain why your half brother got 30% unless it was secretly him who wanted to split it in their favour & your step brother said "then give them 10% each of yours as I can just wait it out through a court & still accept 25% anyway" ????

I think Italy has forced heirship such that 66% HAS to go to legal kids (ie your step brother and half brother). Your step mum could not have left any less to them legally. If they morally wanted to gift to you, that’s a different matter but that could have a whole host of tax and legal implications that we don’t know about as we’re not Italian specialists. Also, it is a big ask for someone to give up money that is legally theirs, even to their full/half/step siblings.

This is why it’s extremely important for mixed families and international families to take proper legal advice during their lifetime.

You really need to engage a solicitor to verify exactly what way the Estate should have been distributed. You’d also need to think about costs of taking legal advice, etc. Would it be worth it to gain the extra 15% that you think you’ve missed out on ?

Also, was your father Italian or were his assets in Italy? If so you should’ve inherited on his death as the rules literally exist to protect scenarios like this.

I have no thoughts on the legalities but I will say that in a somewhat similar situation my father was the main beneficiary of a family member's will. He felt that was unfair so distributed the funds with more going to other family members than in the original will.

I understand. Your supposedly close brothers have betrayed you.

It doesn't matter that you are in Canada.

It does matter that your step mum died in Italy. It will be governed by Italian law.

We can comment on the morals - she should have given you a more equal share but not many Brits will know much about Italian law.

Thing is as @HoleGuacamole says, it is relevant (on the moral side) that it's Italian law, because it's one thing if they have falsified a will and another if they have just shrugged, followed the law over there and legally kept the cash.

So my husband's family are one big happy family but the elder two siblings (my husband is one of the elder two) get 12.5% of the estate each. There are two older kids, whose father remarried. He then had two kids with someone else.

Their Dad's "half" of the overall estate is split 4 ways because he has 4 kids. The second younger siblings get 1/4 of the estate each from their Dad and 1/2 from their Mum. So they get 37.5% (comprising 25% from their Mum's half each and 12.5% of their Dad's).

Each family will have its own way of working it out fairly.

Because there's litteraly no mention that your in Canada or the deaths happened in Italy (both of which have different laws to the UK/Similar countrys) if your just looking for sympathy then fair enough but the wording implies your looking for refference on where to go next & nobody would no

I suspect you might have misunderstood your father and step mother's relative wealth OP.

If Dad brought 30% of the estate into the relationship, then his share would be 10% to each of his 3 children.
Mum has 70% remaining. She hasn't then split it equally between her own children though, she's given 20% to dad's shared child and 50% to her other child.
If she was a widow before meeting dad then some of the family money might have been from her previous husband and tied up for future inheritance, that would explain her actions.

Well it’s more to the point that unless DF stipulated in his will that % went to his kids and a % to his widow when he died - if it all went to his widow then she can simply leave it all to her sons.

Yes, if the stepmother was a widow and her previous deceased husband Italian or with Italian assets, then on her death the share of his assets enjoyed by her would revert to her previous husband’s blood relatives.

Italian inheritance rules can get very complicated; if an inheritor dies, then their subsequent shares of any inheritance gets split between their children, and if no children, their surviving siblings. A person with no children will have property potentially shared between siblings, nieces or nephews.

If my DH dies before me, his property and assets go to our son. My smaller share gets subsequently left to our son. Failing that, the share reverts to DH siblings and then nieces. At no point would my share be able to be go outside the blood family.

Napoleonic law was set up by Napoleon’s lawyer in order to stop Josephine leaving the properties bought with N’s cash (inc Malmaison) to her children, who were not N’s children.

The problem with somewhere like that is that if you’re not from there forget about getting any justice as an outsider. Your step family will just throw a judge a backhander or something. It is how it always been

Under UK law if there wasn't a will and you weren't adopted by your step mother I don't think you would be entitled to anything, so 10% implies there was a will or your 'brothers' were being good to give you a share. No idea about Italian inheritance rules.

If it bothers you do get hold of both wills, but to try to overturn the wills or disbursements would probably cost more than it's worth, if it's a small estate.

I know from sad experience when you find out that money which should have come to you has been stolen by siblings you’ll have a hard time convincing police that you have been defrauded. I hope this has not happened to you, as it seems very unfair x