Stepmother inheritance - who's right?

[jamiefromcanada]

My father was a widow at a young age, 30, he has two children from his first marriage. He remarried after a few years to a widowed homemaker who had one child from her previous marriage. After a few years they had a child of their own.

Fast forward, my father died at seventy years old and my step-mother lived another fifteen years, until eighty five years old. During their marriage they lived on my fathers income, which he earned handsomely. We all grew up together as one big close happy family, just like the Brady Bunch. shared birthdays, weddings, and parties together.

After my step-mothers death, my half-brother and step-brother never shared the contents of the will with us or not even let us see it. I know that when my step-mother was alive she said many times to many people including myself that all her children were equal to her. After all was said and done, my brothers gave us only 10% of the entire estate. My half-brother took 50% and my step-brother took, 30%.

What's right in this situation? Both morally and legally. I know how I feel, a bit disappointed. My father and stepmother died thinking we were all one big happy family... I want to get other peoples opinions on this. Thanks

No idea what the law is in Italy sorry i assumed uk

OP if you thought you were entitled to some of the estate why didn’t you see a solicitor, why wait until now?

I thought Italy had those forced inheritance laws. If your father died in Italy, did you inherit anything at that stage?

Obviously which jurisdiction the deceased was in makes all the difference and I've only just now noticed OP's user name, too.

You don't seem to really have a relationship with these step & half brothers any longer, so what can you lose by trying to get a copy of the will at the very least?

What did you fathers will actually say ? He could have gifted her for his life time & made provision for you .
You need to stop being passive and look at the wills

Italian inheritance tax law usually shares the estate equally between children

At first i thought of seeking help by a solicitor, however that would mean correspondence to Italy back and forth and maybe trips to Italy for court from Canada costing money. It wasn't a big estate. It's the principle that hurts me. The actions.

I think you just need to see the will to clear your mind one way or another . I am sure it would not be that difficult . You have nothing to lose as you are not close anymore .

Was the property in the UK or Italy? What about the executor, were they in UK or Italy? It doesn't sound like you have a very close relationship with your step or half brothers. If you chase it up you may lose even this but if they have nothing to hide I don't see why they don't show you the will.

Well then you've decided to let it go. So let it go. The only people who end up happy and rich when wills are disputed are the lawyers.

https://detulliolawfirm.com/searching-italian-will/

Firstly, I’m not a lawyer, but just having a look at a link.

This link is interesting. It says that probate is not common Italy. It says that there are legal minimum requirements as to what family members inherit. Unfortunately, it also says that a will that does not abide by those requirements is enforceable unless challenged.

It may have been more pertinent to inheritance from your father.

https://www.comandinimigration.com.au/cherry-services/successione-italian-succession-and-probate-inheritance-services-in-italy/#:~:text=Such%20a%20will%20is%20enforceable,with%20the%20rules%20outlined%20above.

Well then you're an idiot. Sorry.

Did you benefit from your father’s will at the time, or was your stepmother the only beneficiary?
did he die intestate?
Did he die in Italy?

So let me try and see if can wrap my head around this. You are a Canadian citizen, posting in a UK based forum about an italian estate/will? When it has already been settled, assets have been sold, money has been distributed and you aren't willing to even contact an italian lawyer for information/advise because it may lead to costs and flights to Italy?

YABU

Yes, this!!

what exactly are you looking for from this thread OP? What would you like us to say?

Sad but true.

It is really healthy to vent this kind of thing on Mumsnet, but you need to take legal advice. If your dad left a will then my understanding is that it is up to him to choose who he leaves the money to, but you need to confirm this and fight your corner. You absolutely need to see a legally attested version of the will.

Good luck! And don't take shit from anyone. It is really easy to be convinced not to make a fuss so as not to fall out with a family member, but if they are walking away with tens of thousands that your father intended for you then that is not right either.

I'm confused which relation you are - you have a 35 year relationship, but your SM died recently aged 85? So did she have children in her 50's? Maybe I've misread it.

That's awful. Even if I couldn't find the will I would do a deviation to the will and divide it equally in the circumstances you describe.

I think the 35 year relationship may have been with the step-brother's cousin. Or possibly their aunt's sister-in-law's cleaner's dog.

Though I may be wrong. This thread is very confusing.

So it is unlikely that comments from a UK-based site will be of use to you. That information is important and should be in the OP.

I think you need to get hold of a copy of your father's will as well as that of your step-mother. It's not going to be helpful to ruminate like this, but do nothing. You need to find out whether their wishes were respected or not, and if not decide whether you want to challenge your brothers or can accept what's happened and let it go.

Until you see the will, you'll never know but something to consider is that someone will have hurt you; either your stepmother for leaving you out, or your family for not giving you what was left to you. Finding out who hurt you might help you move on, but ultimately it's a shit situation made worse by the fact that you don't want to do anything about it.
Ask to see the will. Contact the executor, or ask your stepbrother. If they won't let you, ask why.

My limited understanding is that you can't ignore the wishes of a will so what was given to you is what was left to you by her. 🤷‍♀️

Guys, so what that im from Canada? I found similar postings on this site and decided to ask a similar question. I want to see if the general public feels the way I do, betrayed! not like I was real family! This thing has weighed heavy on my heart. What's with all the negative responses. WTH. If you have nothing of value to add don't respond. I apologize for intruding on this private UK based site.