To tell MIL to stop cooking food like that

[Ohhbaby]

My mother in law defrosts food, especially meat in the plastic packages / clingwrap that it comes in, in the mocrowave. Or sometime she will pop it in one of those ziplock bags and take it out of the freezer and pop it in the microwave for 10 or 20 minutes to defrost.

When it comes out that plastic is sooo hot. And it's so bad for our health. And it is not like she just pops it in plastic Tupperware(which is bad enough), it is literally clingwrap.

I know we can not side step every health hazard, I mean there is pesticide and microplastic in probably all our food, but I feel like we should try and sidestep those that we can.

I have 2 small children, 18 months and 3 years and pregnant with our 3rd. I really really dislike the thought of my children eating that meat .

Would you say something to your MIL or not?
How would you say it?
With my own mom I feel very comfortable to say something. "Ooh mom did you know it's really bad for our health if you do xyz"
But I feel like my MIL is sensitive. My husband grew up drinking hot chocolate in his bottle, and eating lost of sugar and processed food. So I'm already always saying, "aw mom thank you but we prefer them not to have sweets every half an hour etc.
We have different ways of doing things, especially health wise. I don't want her to continuesly feel like I know better and am questioning her decisions, but man, it's bugging me so much!

Could you blame some celebrity chef? Just say “ gosh Jamie oliver was writing bout how plastic leeches into food when you defrost with packaging on and recommends we all stop doing it” “ I ve always done it but made a change.. “

@Ohhbaby just because you grew up
in a very vocal household doesn’t mean that you can say what you like in someone else’s house. You have to be sensitive to the way other people do things. If you don’t like it, then arrange for you all to eat out during visits or bring with you a large joint of meat that’s already cooked. But please don’t tell MIL what to do in her own house. That’s rude. You’re a guest and you should go with the flow like guests go when they visit you.

Could you have the convo away from her kitchen as lots of people don't like to be told they are doing something wrong when they are in their own kitchen doing it?
Maybe call her and tell her about an article you read (like its news to you)"these man-made chemicals can leach from the containers or wrappings into the food and drinks they're holding — especially when they're heated." etc., then add as much detail as you want without terrifying her..

Oh blimey I’m going to have to rethink how I defrost things because I’m like your MIL but you do have an absolute point.

Couldn’t you get her one of those defrosting trays designed to defrost meat safely but quickly. Buy one for yourself and then tell her how it is the very latest technology and enthuse about how good it is. Worth a try.

Excellent suggestion.

Good grief. I'm just imagining the OP from a mumsnetter hosting her in-laws, after her MIL has just told her that she's not preparing food to her liking.

For goodness sake, it's a few weekends a year. No-one is going to be damaged by her defrosting something in plastic for half a dozen meals a year.

I'm amazed that 50% of people think it's reasonable for OP to challenge her. I'm damn sure the result would be very different if it was a MIL dictating how OP was preparing food.

She can do whatever she likes. Be as organised or disorganised as she likes. Because it's her fing home and her fing kitchen!

Maybe she doesn't have a plan for the meals, because with the family visiting they might go out a fair bit. She might not know what time they'll be home, or whether they might end up eating something when they're out. There are a hundred reasons why she might choose to wait to decide what/whether they're going to eat IN HER OWN HOME.

Jeeze, that comment really was peak judgemental Mumsnet.

Good point, why doesn't OP initiate a discussion on meals the day before then they can be a bit more organized.

Seriously, it would never have occurred to me to 'organise' my MIL in her own kitchen, in her own home.

My MIL was wonderful. But she was a terrible cook. I'd love to have taken over. I'd love to have made suggestions. But it was her home, she was hosting, and she loved feeding us.

We helped when she was happy for us to, but we followed her instructions, and we did the grunt work.

The suggestions that people are giving are so patronising and deceitful that it's sickening.

Yes, you need to say something or not eat from her. That’s beyond disgusting.

my mil would bake treats in these pans that would have the coating flaking. I pointed out to my husband how that was simply unnecessary and dangerous. Cancer just brewing.

Maybe you could find an article about the dangers of plastic in food, and also safe containers for microwave and either show her or read it where she can see you doing so. There are so many new concerns about what we eat, ie all fish have micro plastic in them so we all ingest plastic in some form or another.
She may be able to understand how you would be worried as a mother for your children while for herself she may not care too much. It will be ultra processed foods next to be concerned about. Maybe she just isn’t into health and food which is fine for her but not when it comes to your children. If it was me I would say something. If you were all vegan you would let her know and she would have to take that on board, this is much easier to comply with.

I think issues with inlaws should be dealt with by the son!… but not in a ‘wife has asked me to say/wife thinks” way….
Maybe ask him to just casually say next time “ Mum, do you know when you defrost meat like that you’re melting XYZ into the meat?”…. Maybe he can suggest removing the packaging and popping it into a glass container?!….. or if you’re they’re for a whole week could you not menu plan the night before and suggest getting the meat out the day before and letting it defrost naturally?!
I don’t defrost stuff in the microwave at all…. I always get it out the night before and put in the microwave (turned off) to defrost naturally! Most meats acturlaly recommend being left in a fridge or whatever overnight. To me a microwave is only used to reheat food or cook jacket potatoes and scrambled egg… I literally don’t use it for much else… (oh baked beans and soup too!)

I read that thread yesterday but thought about it today when making lunch!
This is where you go wrong IMO, you are taking the stance that she is obtuse and refuse a different opinion. But the one who is trying to make her change her ways of doing things is you, when she hasn't asked you for you help or opinion.
Giving unsolicited advice might be the way you interact in your family, but most people would get offended by this, particularly in their own home. When you are doing you are implying that she is stupid, or ignorant.

So, my point is: stop trying to give her advice when she is cooking, or going behind her back. Start talking to her, and find opportunities to discuss that specific topic in a friendly, open and neutral way, for instance mentioning an article you've read, or a documentary you've seen, and what you have learn from it.

I love all the replies "my gran is X age and doesn't have cancer"
I'm assuming when your gran was a child, majority of foods weren't wrapped in plastic with their parents defrosting/heating it all up in a microwave.
There are plastics in everything and they cause multiple issues, fertility being one.
If there's one thing you can do to try and reduce the amount of plastic that you consume and its something as simple as taking meat out of plastic and putting it on a plate, then do it.

Yes, I like the idea of drawing her attention to an article over a coffee. Definitely don't raise the issue when she is actually doing the defrosting as she will feel judged and attacked and will get defensive straight away.

I totally agree with your concerns, OP; while science is not 100% sure about the effects of these microplastics we should absolutely be avoiding them as much as possible.

Especially for children who have no choice and don't understand the potential risks.

You don't need a defrosting tray, just use an aluminum non stick backing tray on a wire rack e.g. from your grill.

There will be almost zero microplastics coming from cling wrap, vacuum sealed bags, Ziploc bags etc.

Microplastics are very small pieces of solid plastic that arise from abrading or shredding a piece of plastic. Unless you're attacking your cling wrap with a scourer they will not shed any micro plastics.

Synthetic clothing is biggest source of microplastics in the home.

FFS why do people just make stuff up?

Yep, @Daftasabroom , I'm going to guess that Cancer Research UK is a more reliable source of scientific fact than @Ohhbaby and many on here.

• Using plastics doesn’t increase the risk of cancer
• It is safe to drink from plastic bottles, use plastic containers, cling film and store food in plastic bags
• Even where plastics are heated for hours at a time, studies have shown that the food inside is safe to eat

https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/causes-of-cancer/cancer-myths/does-using-plastic-bottles-and-containers-cause-cancer

Surely the plastic just melts…..
Mostly the packing says remove before cooking even if it’s microwavable

Tell her you're not eating meat any more.

If it is only the odd weekend visit I'd overlook it tbh.

Quite. Microplastics in the environment are really damaging, just take a look at your tumble drier filter - micro plastics are the ones that get away! The micro plastics from all lovely warm fleeces that get washed away are scary and pass through the majority of sewage filters into rivers and ultimately the sea.

@Ohhbaby if you want to reduce microplastics do not ever scour plastic containers, only use cotton or natural fiber tea towels. Minimise the use of non stick pans - particularly frying pans. Do not use those super convenient, super flexi, polyurethane spatulas and kitchen utensils. Use high smoke point oils for frying and roasting - save your extra virgin unfiltered olive oil for salads and dipping bread with a bit balsamic. Yum!

But please rest assured your MIL isn't going to poison you or your family. Although i have to say microwaving meat should be a crime in itself.

Daftasabroom, for there to be no harm it is advised that the plastic wrap does not touch the food during heating. Especially with fatty foods.

MIL is defrosting meat wrapped in cling film so there will almost certainly be a transfer of chemicals whether or not this includes microplastics.

Not according to Cancer Research UK, above