To tell MIL to stop cooking food like that

[Ohhbaby]

My mother in law defrosts food, especially meat in the plastic packages / clingwrap that it comes in, in the mocrowave. Or sometime she will pop it in one of those ziplock bags and take it out of the freezer and pop it in the microwave for 10 or 20 minutes to defrost.

When it comes out that plastic is sooo hot. And it's so bad for our health. And it is not like she just pops it in plastic Tupperware(which is bad enough), it is literally clingwrap.

I know we can not side step every health hazard, I mean there is pesticide and microplastic in probably all our food, but I feel like we should try and sidestep those that we can.

I have 2 small children, 18 months and 3 years and pregnant with our 3rd. I really really dislike the thought of my children eating that meat .

Would you say something to your MIL or not?
How would you say it?
With my own mom I feel very comfortable to say something. "Ooh mom did you know it's really bad for our health if you do xyz"
But I feel like my MIL is sensitive. My husband grew up drinking hot chocolate in his bottle, and eating lost of sugar and processed food. So I'm already always saying, "aw mom thank you but we prefer them not to have sweets every half an hour etc.
We have different ways of doing things, especially health wise. I don't want her to continuesly feel like I know better and am questioning her decisions, but man, it's bugging me so much!

You dont wish she was happy to accept a differing opinion, you wish that she would change what she is doing, in her own house, based on what you think is right

Stay in an airbnb when you visit, then the problem is solved.

Its all very well saying people you grew up with were happy with someone saying 'I didnt like that' but that assumes the expectation is that the person stops doing the thing you didnt like. She doesnt have to stop doing it.

It's just an occasional weekend at her house so I wouldn't worry about it tbh

I defrost cooked and frozen meat all the time, I use the tupperware (not real tupperware) its stored in, in the fridge, its all microwave safe

It always gets hot, last night I defrosted cooked ham, it was on for 3 mins which is the shortest amount of time the defrost function runs for but I check it every 30 seconds or so and it wasnt ready before then anyway

Maybe she hates cooking ( I do!) and don’t want to think about cooking until she has to (and guilty of this). You said she refuses your offer to cook, perhaps she feels it is her obligation as a host? Maybe invite your in laws to you instead of going there?! So you can do things on your terms?

Could you buy her a good microwave dish/bowl for defrosting and make a big point when giving it this is what it is for, otherwise you either tell her outright (obviously in a nice way) or you go veggie when at hers

While it's not clear is what these microscopic plastic particles which break away when heated and chemicals that leach from the plastic are doing to us. I try to avoid microwaving plastic for that reason. But in all honestly the manufacture of teflon worries more.

Defrosting in the microwave is safe, and some, like ours, actually have a specific program for it. However you need to cook it immediately.

It's now too late to worry about plastics and food already contains plastic

not to sound rude but in reality if you are that concerned about what’s in your food, you shouldn’t be eating meat?

Maybe a little white lie is needed
‘the kids have become really fussy do you mind if I prepare the meal’ or take some pre prepared meals with you in a Tupperware that you can microwave

Deleted as forgot to include quote.

Perhaps you could share those links, as I’ve seen nothing on this thread yet that makes a convincing scientific case for why OP should be so anxious about a bit of meat defrosted in a microwave a few weekends a year.
I’ve also had IVF and was given no such advice.

If it’s only occasionally I really wouldn’t say anything, you potentially risk ruining a good relationship over this. It’s just not worth it. I’d offer to take dinners, or pop and get some meat to save her freezer stash. But I wouldn’t say anything.

id just buy her a defrosting tray

Why not buy her a set of freezer/microwave safe tupperware and encourage her to use these instead of cling film - it may not come across as direct criticism.

Your title is very misleading. She’s not actually cooking the food is she, she’s defrosting it. I take food out of the freezer and leave it until I can take it out of the packaging to defrost it. But considering microwave meals are cooked in the packaging I don’t think there’s much harm here unless you have a problem with how the food is cooked once it’s defrosted. Because it’s defrosting we’re talking about here, not cooking.

I’d find an article telling how dangerous it insane while having a coffee I’d say ‘oh my goodness, look at this article ‘ we better stop doing this 🤷‍♀️

I have a weight defrost setting on my microwave - nothing gets hot, it's usually partially... Oh I don't care 🤷

@BonheursTrousers This is new to me- please could you share the articles your friend sent you, please?

The micro plastics in food is a new thing

This isn’t your mum, you’re going to have to suck it up for the sake of the relationship with the kids

What is wrong with Tupperware exactly?
you very obviously have some issues.

Chemicals from the plastic migrate into the food. Plastic shouldn’t be heated at all. Just because it can be done, doesn’t mean we should.

It really is not. I have known it was an issue for a decade at least. Probably longer. It's worse now because there is more plastic everywhere.

I am afraid to say that if you were to tell me that as a guest in my house you would get a short sharp shrift. I would also be insulted if you offered to cook.
You are best off offering to get a takeaway or stay in an air b&b and eat elsewhere.
It is only occasionally and maybe it is hard work for her to prepare the house for you all so cooking isn't a huge priority.

Get DH to say something, not you.

Just yukk!

No, I would imagine it is because the majority of people are sensible enough to know that eating food defrosted in this manner every now and again is not going to have an effect.

When eating away from home, whether that be at someone else's house (where they invite you for a meal), or in a restaurant or cafe, you have no idea how things have been de-frosted or cooked (@Mirabai excepted of course!)- and do any of you worry about it?

When I was a child I spent holidays with my GPs, both of whom smoked, my GM chain smoked. There has always been some sort of risk - this is on the low scale compared to some. There is no point in stressing over every little thing. I used to work in a farmers' supply store. There was a locked room where heavy duty chemicals were kept - if you went in there you would probably never want to eat anything which had the possiblity of being sprayed ever again, and yet I'm sure most of us do.

No wonder there are so many stressed, anxious, people around these days.