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AIBU?

To tell MIL to stop cooking food like that

231 replies

Ohhbaby · 11/01/2024 11:47

My mother in law defrosts food, especially meat in the plastic packages / clingwrap that it comes in, in the mocrowave. Or sometime she will pop it in one of those ziplock bags and take it out of the freezer and pop it in the microwave for 10 or 20 minutes to defrost.

When it comes out that plastic is sooo hot. And it's so bad for our health. And it is not like she just pops it in plastic Tupperware(which is bad enough), it is literally clingwrap.

I know we can not side step every health hazard, I mean there is pesticide and microplastic in probably all our food, but I feel like we should try and sidestep those that we can.

I have 2 small children, 18 months and 3 years and pregnant with our 3rd. I really really dislike the thought of my children eating that meat .


Would you say something to your MIL or not?
How would you say it?
With my own mom I feel very comfortable to say something. "Ooh mom did you know it's really bad for our health if you do xyz"
But I feel like my MIL is sensitive. My husband grew up drinking hot chocolate in his bottle, and eating lost of sugar and processed food. So I'm already always saying, "aw mom thank you but we prefer them not to have sweets every half an hour etc.
We have different ways of doing things, especially health wise. I don't want her to continuesly feel like I know better and am questioning her decisions, but man, it's bugging me so much!

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

1167 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
48%
You are NOT being unreasonable
52%
Kittybythelighthouse · 11/01/2024 11:52

I agree with you. I wouldn’t want melted plastic in my food either! I don’t like defrosting meat in the microwave at all though, personally.

ADoggyDogWorld · 11/01/2024 11:54

I would find reasons to not eat there. Time visits accordingly, meet away from the premises.

Unless you are living with inlaws?

BrutusMcDogface · 11/01/2024 11:55

I don’t think it would go down too well to tell her how to cook things in her own home, so just don’t eat there. Or, suggest (and pay for) a takeaway.

Spaghettieis · 11/01/2024 11:56

I’m very health conscious, shop organic, avoid plastics etc but think YABU. I also don’t think you’ll get much traction especially if you are already disagreeing on other food-related topics. Why don’t you offer to do the cooking? Or bring meat for you all to eat that’s fresh/already defrosted?

LadyDanburysHat · 11/01/2024 11:56

I definitely wouldn't want to eat there. Some things are fine in the microwave, but not the original packaging or freezer bags

Jenry · 11/01/2024 11:59

Depends how often you eat there. Once in a while, I’m sure it’s fine and I wouldn’t stress about it

C00k · 11/01/2024 12:00

You don't need to eat there. I doubt someone who put hot chocolate in their kids bottle is going to radically change to be a health food fanatic, so opt out of being in the position where she's feeding any of you the shitty food.

NeverStopTwinkling · 11/01/2024 12:00

I always defrost in the microwave in packaging. Am I going to die? 😱

Jenry · 11/01/2024 12:01

I also wouldn’t risk causing a problem with the grandparent relationship over this unless you’re eating there more than a couple of times a week

Jenry · 11/01/2024 12:02

NeverStopTwinkling · 11/01/2024 12:00

I always defrost in the microwave in packaging. Am I going to die? 😱

😂maybe you’re already dead… 😵

Grilly · 11/01/2024 12:02

Why’s she cooking you so many meals?

Nonomono · 11/01/2024 12:03

If she’s healthy in herself, then no I wouldn’t say anything.

If you don’t want your kids eating her food then perhaps offer to have her over to yours instead.

arethereanyleftatall · 11/01/2024 12:03

Is she the type of person who will change her ways once given the info you intend?

If yes, then of course say it.

If no, then there's no value in saying it. You'll have to find an alternative such as not eating there.

Sherrystrull · 11/01/2024 12:04

NeverStopTwinkling · 11/01/2024 12:00

I always defrost in the microwave in packaging. Am I going to die? 😱

Me too. What's the concern? The plastic is hot but doesn't melt.

MissusKay · 11/01/2024 12:05

Requesting that she changes how she cooks is unlikely to go well. You should probably concentrate on what you can change. Do you have to eat there?

Novelby55 · 11/01/2024 12:05

My child's partner did this and he was horrified and refused to eat it. Every family does things differently. I’m not sure your MIL will change as it’s worked for her for so long.

PerfectTravelTote · 11/01/2024 12:09

You can say it but it won't achieve anything other than her thinking you're being difficult. She's going to do what she's going to do.

Daisies12 · 11/01/2024 12:10

it's such a waste of plastic. I rarely defrost in the microwave as I'm skeptical of them generally, but if I do, would always be in a bowl

2Rebecca · 11/01/2024 12:10

Saying it is "really bad" for your health is hugely exaggerating the possible health risks from eating stuff microwaved in plastic. It's not great but it's not that bad either and actual evidence of harm is very limited, most of it is possible theoretical damage. Eat there less and take stuff for the children if she's babysitting them.

2dogsandabudgie · 11/01/2024 12:10

You need to give more information. Do you live with your in laws? If not how often do you eat dinners there?

Brefugee · 11/01/2024 12:12

NeverStopTwinkling · 11/01/2024 12:00

I always defrost in the microwave in packaging. Am I going to die? 😱

Imminently

Whataretheodds · 11/01/2024 12:12

How are you ending up eating this food? Is she providing free childcare?

NeverStopTwinkling · 11/01/2024 12:13

We genuinely microwave in plastic all the time. Plastic tupperware for scrambled eggs, plastic jugs for melting butter/chocolate etc. Defrost in the plastic packaging for meat. Loads of ready meals come in plastic that you cook it in. It's never, ever, even crossed my mind to be concerned.

CombatLingerie · 11/01/2024 12:15

@NeverStopTwinkling eventually.

Ohhbaby · 11/01/2024 12:18

We don't live with the inlaws but live far away, so if we visit we usually visit for a weekend or full week.
It's not really practical to bring our own food or do takeaway every day for a week. (I don't think that's healthy either)

I often offer to cook, but she mostly says no or gives me menial tasks like cutting tomatoes etc. which is fine, it's her house, I don't want to invade her space.

To be fair, she does try and accommodate us with sweets ie asking of it's okay if she gives them chocolate.
However, in the past if I've said something, I can see her 'sulking' for a lack of a better word.

I just find it weird because I grew up in a very vocal household. We would never sit and simmer, we would say 'oi I didn't like it that you did xyz, I felt uncomfortable ". Or that joke was in poor taste" or " I think we should refrain from doing xyz at the table"
So in my mind I don't understand why she would huff about it, I feel like I could just say it, buy I don't want to offend her.

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