To be upset by health visitor comment?

[Squashie]

I took 3 month old DS to be weighed today and he was chewing on his hands (which he has been constantly doing for the last few weeks) and she commented “he’s clearly hungry, mummy must be starving you”. He had just had a big bottle 20 mins prior and I know the comment was probably made in jest but thinking about it when I got home I think it’s not really the right thing for them to be saying even as a joke? Baby is weighing well on 50th centile but I’m really struggling with PND and have really taken this to heart

PND is an awful thing to deal with OP x I hope you have been able to get some help

Can you read? We’re all aware it was a joke, it was a stupid joke for a health visitor to try to make.

Having suffered horrendous PND with DC1 and DC3 I can understand why your upset. I cried when my HV said my DD was too young to be trying to hold her head up. I was like WTF am I meant to do? Push her head down?
I wouldn't complain because we all make ill judged comments sometimes. It was a joke . Not funny but not compliant worthy.

It might be a "joke" but as someone who works with women when some of them are likely to b have post natal mental health struggles it's one they should know not to make.

Exactly and jokes can hurt

Hand chewing is a hunger cue.

It’s a health visitor making innocent conversation.

good lord how do any of you get by in the real world.

This.

Wow, what a horrible thing for her to have said. And I also hate the passive aggressive speaking to baby thing too. My mum says the exact same phrase when my daughter cries in front of her and it pisses me off, I'd definitely complain about a HV saying it as they should know better!

I can see why you were upset, OP. It was a bit tactless. You're at a vulnerable time, it's a big responsibility having a baby, and it's common to feel anxious. I think she was trying to make a joke but it backfired. In my experience, HV's are either lovely, or really quite useless. It's the luck of the draw. Best wishes to you.

OP it was a not a reflection on you,. Please try to put it out of your mind. You don’t need to waste your energy or cause yourself any more anxiety by psyching yourself up to complain or follow up on complaints. MN hates health visitors and HCPs in general so in the gentlest way possible don’t let yourself be hijacked.

Oh dear, I think you're being a bit over sensitive OP. Just a joke, lighten up a little.

Sounds like the sort of thing my mil would say. I'm sure it was a joke, a stupid one though that a health visitor shouldn't make! But ignore it, you are doing amazing!

Please don't tell a woman with PND to lighten up.

It’s a very silly comment by a medical professional in a weight clinic. Foolish and thoughtless on the HV’s part.

Was it definitely a HV or just someone in uniform running the clinic?

My one is ran by a health visiting assistant, she's admin staff, not medically trained at all.

I find they're always mixed up between health visitors, midwives, nursery nurses and the assistants.

I'd bet my house it was a HV. It's so utterly typical of them.

It was a joke. I can understand you being oversensitive OP with hormones/ pnd but the rest of the posters outraged need to give their head a wobble... no doubt those outraged have an eating disorder that stemed from being weighed at 3 months old 😂and a joke being made.

Oh OP.

You will one day look back on this and see that she was being a nob and that you were perfectly reasonable - a new mum who was just getting along with her day.

Bit today you’re allowed to rage. The fucking cow 🐄

Also a HV who can’t assess the basics that a new FTM may be a bit sensitive and making “a jOKe” is in the wrong job. Anyone sticking up for her needs to give their head a wobble

If you'd bothered to read the thread you'd know that many posters have shared rather more substantial reasons for finding this comment unacceptable. Easier to sneer when you don't have a clue what you're talking about, isn't it?

I tell you what I’m fed up of - women being expected to be overjoyed at being the butt of jokes.

We are expected to be delighted and go “hahahahhahahaa good one mate” the nanosecond someone takes the piss lest we be a Difficult Woman.

Bless you , one time when I had my daughter someone Turned around to me and said awww your baby is so lovely ans then proceeded to say to someone else in the shop ' you can always tell a first time mum' I was fuming and sad at the same time because I didn't know what she meant by it. I assure you people will say things and not think about it as they don't necessarily mean it maliciously but it is awful when you have pnd. I don't think she meant it but I can understand based on how you are feeling how it could have made you feel. Honestly try not to be upset I'm sure your baby is far from starving and she would know that or socials would be at the door lol x

Oh my goodness ! I cannot believe what I am reading.I am (black female) I wouldn't expect or assume someone to know what sickle cell is especially of you didn't need go! Even if your child is mixed two parents would need the trait therefore two BLACK parents would need the trait so why she was asking you this is beyond me. Some of these HV have all the gear and no idea I swear

Sorry my spelling mistakes are terrible on this phone lol , I'm sure you can work out what I meant lol