School confiscating phone

[Whatshouldmynamebe321]

AIBU to think secondary school should not keep confiscated mobile phone overnight?

12 year old dd walks home alone and school had confiscated her phone during the day (this I fully support as discipline for breaching rules).
But they refused to return at end of day unless a parent collects it.

I'm a single parent and work fulltime, so unavailable during school opening hours to collect it. I feel very upset the school see fit to send her off on a lone walk home without it. I was oblivious, at work assuming she has the device to call for help if there was an emergency. We don't have a landline so, it remains her only method of communication if a disaster happened at home.

Do other schools do this?
I don't understand the logic of it having to be returned to a parent. Surely most parents work and are unable to collect before the school closes which is about 4pm.

I think the phone confiscation policy entrenches inequality by having a disproportionate impact on some who are less well off.

Leaving children without any access to help is concerning. Many children do not have the extended family network, community support or access to a public phone (or money to use it) in the event of needing help.

Many families do not have broadband. This is more likely in less well off households. Some children's only access to internet is through their phone. If another person doesn't have an internet-enabled phone which can be made available, confiscation overnight or longer impacts on the child's ability to complete homework, educationally disadvantaging them.

Single parents are statistically less well off than two parent families. Having to take time out of work to collect the phone can impact on a much-needed job. Paying for bus fare or car fuel to collect also has an impact.

It's all well and good saying the child should learn, but those who don't are the most likely to need support. Removal of their phone is as likely to result in reduced access to support as it is help.

Teachers do not have the time to check why a child is habitually using their phone. Some may be just easily distracted, some may be being bullied or have personal issues they are dealing with. Removing the phone can leave these children more vulnerable yet misses an opportunity to intervene supportively.

Confiscation is an example of a policy set with good intentions but drafted by those with a privileged perspective who don't appreciate the unintended consequences. I fully agree that kids should not have phones in lessons and that we should set an expectation for this, but there are better ways of managing it. Handing in at the start of a lesson or putting it face down in a clear container each child has on their desk (so teacher can see it but child cannot access it) are alternative solutions. Even better would be a staggered approach to integrating phones into the learning environment so they're not seen as the enemy to learning but a tool. However, this will take investment in teacher numbers and time.

Gosh, a phone in a clear container on each desk.

30 missiles easily at hand!

@Resilience you are coming from a 'privileged perspective' thinking any of that would happen and that teenagers (understandably) can control their urges.

All of our children are single parent/ domestic violence/ sen/ lac/ something... take your pick. They all have phones. These phones make them vulnerable because they generally make poor life choices.

Removing them at the start of the day makes them safe. And they now (a year down the line) like it. They have an uninterrupted six hours in school.

It would be interesting to see what would happen if - say - an insurance company sued a school / headteacher because they claimed the schools confiscating of a kid's phone was what meant that the house burnt to the ground instead of being put out by the fire brigade with £20k of damage.

Yes wouldn't it be a landmark case and how could it ever be proved........

If that nonsense started schools would ban phones altogether and advise parents to make alternative arrangements for this child's safety.

They wouldn't be held to ransom that my little poppet can use the phone against your will and you can't stop them by confiscating it!

If a young person is unable to think of an alternative if their mobile phone isn’t available then the very valid argument is they aren’t mature enough to be home alone/out alone

I’d be more annoyed with my daughter in this scenario. She’s obviously flouting the rules and in that case I’d be more than a bit embarrassed that the school had to confiscate her phone. Maybe tell her to do as she’s told and the problem won’t arise.

Rules aren’t there for individuals though. Like someone said. The more of an issue it becomes they will just ban them from site.
I’ve seen students suspended for refusing to hand over a phone because their mum said they didn’t have to. Then mum is complaining they are home for 2 days.
An 11 should be able to understand that if it’s life/death they have their phone on the walk home it needs to be switched off all day.

Ive known some parents complain because they can’t ring/text their children during the school day.

There are electronics free areas in DHs work, use is gross misconduct.

@Needmorelego
"CurlewKate there are parts of where I live (South London) where I definitely wouldn't want young teens walking through when it's getting dark (which in January is as early as 4pm)."

Why would having a phone help?

@Phineyj and @stomachameleon - did you miss the bit where I said I fully support students not having phones in lessons?

I'm well aware of how vulnerable phones make young people. I've worked with the consequences. Teaching self-regulation skills is a real step forward in tackling this since the genie that is so many young people having access to phones is not one which can be put back in the bottle.

All I've done is point out the unintended consequences of confiscation. I wasn't aware I could only post if I had a fully formed policy and risk assessment to support my argument!

There was a very, very long thread about this just before Christmas.

Do you have an Alexa or similar at home? If there was an emergency then your DD could ask Alexa to call the police/fire brigade etc or even you. "Alexa, call Mum".

Your DD could even go outside and shout for help if there was a real emergency.

@CurlewKate because having a phone means they can contact a parent if they miss the bus or stay late meaning they don't have to walk.
If they feel threatened or if something happens on their way home they can go to a safe place (inside a shop or takeaway) and phone home (if my daughter caught the bus home she could have got tangled up in the protest/mini riot in Peckham last year) or phone the police.
I also use my phone for Uber so if that's on their phone they can order their own taxi if needed.

If this is a published behaviour policy then Yabu. Your dd has been at this school for at least a term ( and possibly 4 terms) and it is extremely unlikely that she didn’t know the phone policy. Either she will have seen other dc fall foul of it, or NOBODY else is using their phones in class but she thought she could suddenly do it. Children deserve appropriate boundaries. They deserve to have adults that will do what they say they will do. They deserve to be able to go to lessons without disruptive behaviour. They deserve to be able to walk about their school without people uploading photos and videos of them.
The point is to bring parents on board with school rules because, sadly, a number of children are parented by people who just actually don’t give many fucks about them and won’t help the school enforce perfectly reasonable behaviour policies unless it actually inconveniences them.
If this isn’t an actual policy and someone has just snatched your dds phone then by all means “kick off”, or at least request the return of the phone on the basis of it’s not school policy.
Your dd is old enough to know that if she wants her phone in the evening then she needs to behave in a way that will allow her to have it. If you don’t want a landline or a payg emergency phone in the house I’m not really sure what you expect the school to do about it. Your dd could have been mugged for her phone on the way home or dropped it down the loo or it could have broken in a million different ways and you haven’t made any contingency for that. The most likely thing though is your dd would have her phone confiscated and you expect the school to make an allowance because you don’t want a landline.

Coming back to the thread and the whataboutery is strong!

It's really simple. Phones off in the bottom of the bag. Don't get them out at school.

If a smartphone is too tempting then have a smartphone for home and a brick phone for commuting to and from school for their safety. It's a boring device so isn't likely to be as tempting.

If the safety of your whole house and contents is dependent on a teenager having a mobile phone with them at all times, there's much bigger problems because that also means your child, home and contents are at risk in the event their phone runs out of battery, they break their phone, it gets lost/falls out their pocket, it gets stolen, the networks go down, the signal is poor etc etc.

I totally disagree. I would be totally in favour of phones being handed to tutors at the start of the day and returned at the end and any phones seen that were handed in to be taken immediately, any pupil who refused could face a suspension. I’m not anti teacher and discipline, however out of school time I don’t believe e they have the right to hold on to personal property. Kids need phones to pay for things, bus tickets, homework, contact parents etc as much as I don’t like it they are an integral part of life now. However I agree not to be used during the school day.

How do you call the fire brigade if you live in an isolated rural house and the only phones are mobiles, and you are alone and have had yours taken?

Well Vodafone is currently down so there needs to be other options anyway.

@AnonnyMouseDave how would you call the fire brigade if the phone was on fire, being the source of the fire and it burn your hands and ears if you touched it.....

How far can we stretch this?

@AnonnyMouseDave You have a landline!!

I honestly think the excuse of "what if the house catches fire" as justification for not allowing schools to discipline pupils is the biggest stretch I've seen on Mumsnet.

If the phone is that vital... dont use it at school

I do wonder why schools create all these hassles for themselves rather than just having phones handed in during morning registration and returned at home time.

Absolute standard for secondary schools. Major bullying problems at schools are caused by pupils using phones inappropriately with social media, WhatsApp etc etc. It’s hugely time consuming to deal with and obviously unpleasant for pupils who are victims of this type of bullying. Mobiles are not a necessity to take to school as others have said, many generations walked home in the dark etc etc without phones, just convenient and we are now used to thinking they give us peace of mind.
Stick to the rules!

I suppose they're trying to teach the children to be responsible?

I expect it would a massive PITA to collect 700 mobiles everyday and redistribute in the afternoon?

I expect it's easily circumnavigated by pupils who would just say, I've forgotten mine today.

Are you suggesting teachers should just put up with kids texting or on social media during lessons?

There was a post about this a few weeks ago and the OP got shot down