Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Why did you have kids?

97 replies

NewbieToThis · 09/01/2024 15:56

This sounds like a strange question to ask and a thread to start but I’m curious as to why you decided to have kids. Was it because you and your DH just generally wanted them or did you have them to achieve something in life or did you have them to fix or enrich your life etc?

OP posts:

blackpanth · 09/01/2024 15:57

Just really wanted to be a mam and its the best thing in the world 🥰

Terrribletwos · 09/01/2024 15:58

A biological urge!?!?

vodkaredbullgirl · 09/01/2024 16:01

Because we wanted to be parents. Not that my ex does any more and has not for a long time.

DaftyLass · 09/01/2024 16:05

I've always wanted to be a mum, I grew up in a large family, and couldn't wait for the same.
We only had two, because of costs, but it's the greatest thing we did.
They are grown now, and I've no regrets.

GooglyPop17 · 09/01/2024 16:07

Because I hate sleep

PickledPegs · 09/01/2024 16:07

I wanted to be a mother. I wanted a cosy house with laughter and warmth and children playing and being cherished and loved and cared for. My visions of family life always included children. I wanted to raise them and create a home for them.

GenXisthebest · 09/01/2024 16:09

I've always wanted kids, it was a really important part of how I saw my life.

Dinoswearunderpants · 09/01/2024 16:11

Great question to ask. I never had a desire to have children before the age of 28. The joke was I'd rather by a new handbag than be a Mum, and it was true.

Then I realised there was something I was missing and I decided I was 'ready' for children. I was financially stable, I just had to find the right Man.

I never wanted to be a single Mum. I know not many people set out to be one but I mean I thought seriously hard about who I wanted to be the Father of my child and I do believe I got it very right.

I honestly don't remember my life being as fulfilled as it is now. I adore my son and he truly is my greatest achievement. And that's coming from a pretty career driven person.

TheWelshposter · 09/01/2024 16:12

I remember the exact moment I realised I wanted kids after not having considered it ever before, way before marriage and a house were even on the cards. Myself and now DH were visiting my sister in law. She gave us a sneak peek into her kids bedroom where our nephews aged 1 & 2.5 were sleeping, snoring in their cots with cosy blankets. I suddenly felt "I want this". I wanted nothing more than to have a cosy house full of kids.
Now I do have that and am grateful every night, especially when the wee ones are snoring in their bedroom.
It's the most tiring, relentless thing I've ever done, but the best thing.

MojoDojoCasaHouse · 09/01/2024 16:13

Biological clock. My hormones over ruled my brain. They was no intellectual reasoning behind it.

Notmetoo · 09/01/2024 16:13

It was just something I always thought I would do. I can't say I actually thought about it but I just knew I wanted to be a mother. I had no idea how hard it would be and I underestimated how much it would change my life. But I can honestly say it's the best thing I have ever done.

NetballHoop · 09/01/2024 16:13

We both just wanted kids. It seemed like the next logical step in our lives, I'm sure we'd have coped if we hadn't been able to have them, but I'm very glad we could.

Meadowfinch · 09/01/2024 16:15

I needed to be a mum, it was a fundamental part of me. I thought I would do a reasonable job, and it gives me so much joy.

Recently ds16 said 'You're a pretty good mum. You don't fuss and you don't expect me to be like you.' 😊

pponk · 09/01/2024 16:16

Because I enjoyed being part of a family and wanted to continue that and form my own. I enjoy life, even the complex bits and knew I could provide everything to hopefully ensure my children would enjoy it too.

Dacadactyl · 09/01/2024 16:16

Honest answer: I got pregnant. No forethought went into it whatsoever because we were both young and it was unexpected.

But once I was pregnant I'd have done anything to protect her and its been great.

We then had a 2nd child 5 years later and that was cos we'd discussed having 2 and by that point we'd established ourselves, got married, bought house etc.

Holly60 · 09/01/2024 16:20

I grew up in a loving family and I wanted to replicate that.

I knew I'd always feel like I'd missed an essential experience if I didn't have children.

I wanted a tiny baby to nurture.

I wanted to go to toddler groups and drink coffee

I wanted to laugh round the dinner table with sassy and hilarious teenagers

I wanted adult kids to spend Christmas and holidays with and to be a grandparent.

It's been such a joy to do all of these things and now I get to do it all again with my grandchildren and it's magic

Fionaville · 09/01/2024 16:21

I was always a 'mother hen' growing up and would have all the younger ones toddling round with me when all the kids in the street used to be playing out. As soon as a baby was born, I'd be round there asking for a hold and when could I babysit!
I remember saying to my mum when I was 16 that I just couldn't wait to have a baby, but I'd obviously have to. So, I did everything to gain a career, did well, bought my first property. Met my husband at 24, bought a house together, got married and waited until I was 27 to have our first.
Ultimately, being a mum and having children was all I ever wanted. It was a deep seated need in me. They've given me so much joy.
I find it quite insulting when women criticise other women for 'just wanting to have kids' Like they lack ambition or imagination and are somehow anti feminist. I set my life up so that when I had kids, I'd have a decent rental income and a supportive husband, so that I could be a SAHM. It was all I ever wanted and I wouldn't change a thing! I wish every mum who wanted to stay at home with her kids, could. While I also support mums who want to work. It's about choice. In an ideal world, every woman would have it and not be pressured by society.

MonkeyPuddle · 09/01/2024 16:22

Combo of accidental pregnancy cos I got drunk and had a contraception failure.
Kept the pregnancy as I have PCOS and irregular periods so took the chance of being a mum when I could despite it not being in the ideal circumstances.

Isitisit · 09/01/2024 16:26

It felt right when we started TTC because:

We had a healthy relationship and had just got married.
We were both doing well in our careers and felt financially stable.
We thought that we could give a child a really good life.
We thought we could be good parents.
We wanted to!

In 6 months we will find out how that reasoning worked out for us. 😂

Noshowlomo · 09/01/2024 16:28

I didn’t, but also didn’t use contraception, for years. Assumed I couldn’t and wasn’t unhappy about it. Got pregnant, miscarried at 6 weeks and HAD to be pregnant again and just longed for a baby.

ChoccyMilkySlice · 09/01/2024 16:32

FOMO. I worried that I'd regret not having them once it was too late.

Devilsmommy · 09/01/2024 16:33

I spent my whole life saying I didn't want kids. At 35 I met my DH and realised that I wanted his child. So glad I did because my 15mo DS is the best thing I've ever done or ever will😊

DrinksbytheSea · 09/01/2024 16:51

We both wanted to be parents one day so when we found out I was unexpectedly pregnant we went for it. The timing was good with jobs and money. I do look back now though and wonder why I wanted to be a parent, it’s crap!

IncompleteSenten · 09/01/2024 16:52

Overwhelming biological urge to reproduce that consumed me.

roarrfeckingroar · 09/01/2024 16:52

Contraceptive failure x 2 😂 but always wanted them and we love them dearly!

Flip

1 2 3 4