Why did you have kids?

[NewbieToThis]

This sounds like a strange question to ask and a thread to start but I’m curious as to why you decided to have kids. Was it because you and your DH just generally wanted them or did you have them to achieve something in life or did you have them to fix or enrich your life etc?

Married, happy, good careers, etc and in my 30’s - we wanted children

ended up divorced with three! Love them and have no regrets

Dh got broody mid 30s and we agreed on a six month window of trying. Having read so much about fertility falling off a cliff I presumed my almost 37 year old reproductive system wouldn't be up to the task in that time frame. How wrong I was.

6 weeks later, I started retching on the way to work. 9 months later I was holding dc1.

I specifically wanted to be a sahm and wouldn't have had dcs if I had to work as well. Disillusioned with work and figured the years of hard work having them at home would pay off with my free time during the school years. Looking forward to the youngest going off to preschool this year.

Because we wanted to.

Exactly this.

I always wanted to be a mammy. Loved babies and knew I’d want loads of them one day! Got pregnant at 20 which wasn’t ideal but here we are with dd22 and her 3 siblings. I wanted a 5th but it wasn’t to be.

DH wanted them and I gave in.
Should have stuck to my guns as it's not the life I planned but having said that, I obviously love DD and you just make the best of it.

1st one because I’d always wanted kids, all my friends the same age started having them and I was in a stable relationship (I thought) 2nd one because the 1st one is so cute.

Same here really. DH was ambivalent but I'd have left him if he didn't want kids so that was when I knew it was important to me to have them. Would have had a 3rd but DH put hus foot down.

I accidentally got pregnant! But had always planned to have children anyway.

Some aspects of my own childhood were magical- I grew up quite rurally and I’m so thankful for the part that nature has played in my childhood and that of my children. I wanted to create something similar for them.

they all love living in nature too.

Fuck knows. It seemed like a good idea.

I think we mainly just got caught up in the expectation that it's the next step after marriage. My husband thought we'd regret it if we didn't. I was less keen, but actually I've turned out to like motherhood way more than I anticipated, which is a lucky relief!

Because I wanted to buy myself loads of toys and not look silly. Now I realise adults can buy themselves toys whenever they want.

About half of all babies born are from unplanned pregnancy. Add in biological urge and that’s probably quite a high % of the reason why people have a baby.

Agreed ❤️

Combination of biological urge and I thought a life with kids would be more interesting than one without. Which is both true, and not true.

No biological urge, but when I ‘found myself’ pregnant, I knew I didn’t want an abortion and ex reassured me it would all work out just fine.

I wouldn’t be without her, but I also knew I didn’t want anymore children, so ensured I didn’t fall pregnant again.

My parents had modelled parenthood as being something joyful and desirable, I'd wanted to have children of my own since I was a child myself, and I was lucky enough to be able to have them easily.

Partly because it's just "what you do" and partly because I wanted to. My family kept on about me "being next" & I gave in to it.

We got married (long time ago) and having children was the next step. We were a long way from family, it was tough, but we’ve had the pleasure of seeing them mature into responsible adults, with children of their own. Bonus!

Partly expectation, back in the 1980's there was a script that most followed ( in my circle) that took a lot of the thinking out of it, followed by biological urge that kicked in in my late 20's. Wouldn't be without them, adults now, it's been hard and magical in equal measure.

I don't have kids yet but am TTC, im 37 though and it's not happened in 18 months......

I think the FOMO comment and biological clock ticking are most relevant to me. I don't want to regret not at least trying and I can't imagine being an old lady without a family.

I don't yearn for children though so I do stop/start the TTC. it's a bloody difficult decision!

I honestly don't know. I thought that was the 'next stage'. I didn't really think about not having them, I only ever thought 'when'. I wish I had thought more about the virtues of not having children. It didn't cross my mind back then.
I love my child but I worry that he will have to deal with climate chaos and accompanying societal meltdown.
I just keep telling him: everyone will be in the same boat (everyone in our town at least) in the hopes he'll just team up with his mates and survive and have some kind of mad mortal engines type adventure.
The guilt pervades sometimes though.

Next step in our relationship, I suppose, after a house and marriage. It felt the 'normal' thing to do. I have never felt the biological urge to have a baby. I have stuck with one child. I would say it doesn't come natural to me, motherhood. Ds is 11 now. He's a great kid. Some days, I could pack a bag and run away still...🫤

It felt natural and wonderful to become a Mum.