Why did you have kids?

[NewbieToThis]

This sounds like a strange question to ask and a thread to start but I’m curious as to why you decided to have kids. Was it because you and your DH just generally wanted them or did you have them to achieve something in life or did you have them to fix or enrich your life etc?

DH wanted them. And I didn't not want them - I felt fairly ambiguous about it though. Then we had DS and suddenly I was beyond broody and would have had 20 more. (We had 1 more.) I still want more. But I'm 44 and perimenopausal and the two we have are at secondary school and DH def doesn't want more ....

Overwhelming maternal instinct for me! Always knew my whole life I wanted children to raise, take care of and just give them the best life possible. Became a first time mother last month at the age of 37 and never been so happy in all my life!

@Holly60 what a beautiful way to describe it ❤️

Some combination of:

Biological clock

Desire to still have a family in the future as parents started to get old / die (my mum died at 54)

Fear that DH was the only person in the world I was really close to and if I lost him I would lose everything

Desire to be a mum and experience that relationship from the other side

Lack of fulfillment in my work so searching for other fulfillment

Had a good partner and we owned our own home so felt ready and I couldn't envision a life where that was it I needed to take that next step. A curiosity to see and know my offspring and fulfil a lifelong dream. Also societal expectation on some level. I was broody but also couldn't bear the thought of missing out on that next step and really wanted to have babies at the same time as my friends and peers

Knew l would regret it if l didn't!

Overwhelming biological urge meant I just HAD to have them. That and I had always wanted them. No real reason for that, just how it was for me.

Interesting question op and interesting answers. Not much beyond 'I wanted them.' Yes but why. Why did you want a family. Why did you want to be a mum other than have someone to love.

I don't think people think that hard about it. If they did I think a lot more people wouldn't have them. It's something people just do like eating, breathing, having a shit, sex.

Something I've thought about a lot and constantly go backwards and forwards with in my mind.

Ive always been really maternal and nurturing. I couldnt ever imagine not having a child even when i was a young child myself. At school when they asked what you wanted to be, I only ever said 'a mum'. I felt like it was my only purpose and im doing a great job if i say so myself.

This! And as me and DH were 38 when we met we didn't have time to give it too much thought which probably helped!

We'd both spent our lives assuming we'd have kids one day and we'd just got married so it seemed like a natural next step. Can't say we put much thought into it but it seems to have worked out ok!

I ask myself this on a regular basis.

Honestly? I’d just finished a book and didn’t want to start another project yet.

I always wanted a husband and family. Grew up in a stable household and wanted to reproduce it, I guess.

After my first, having loved it, I would have loved to have had four children, but ex didn’t feel the same.

I was in a happy relationship at the time and we'd just got engaged and were buying a house. I always thought having kids was something I'd do, although I'm not particularly maternal.
The actual trying I didn't give any thought to.
I came off the pill thinking I wouldn't get pregnant easily. I did. Being a mum hit me like a ton of bricks and it took years to feel like myself again.
You are right to give it plenty of thought.

Because I thought if I had forgotten to take the pill for 4 days then if I just took 4 the next day it would be fine. Spoiler alert I now have a 12 year old!

Felt very broody and had an intense biological urge that defied all logic. On both the occasions, I had started fantastic new roles and was very focused on my career, but was suddenly hit with an intense baby fever.

It was a visceral, biological need and I had always wanted to be a mummy, even as a small child. When I met DH and realised he was the one I wanted them with him. Fortunately he wanted too.

However, we were in a position to provide security and a good home. I wouldn’t have done it without that.

Because they are fun :)

I had the biological urge in my early 30s.and was so broody, I almost became obsessed with having a baby. Had my son and then never had that urge again thankfully as one is enough for me. I literally couldn't settle until I had a baby , it was such a weird urge that came over me.

This.

We struggled to conceive and went through years of infertility and IVF. It was devastating, there was nothing I wanted more than to be a mum.

Incredibly lucky to have 5yo boy and 18m girl. They are the greatest love and joy of my life. Hard bloody work of course - harder and more exhausting and more relentless than I’d realised. But worth every minute of it - and the struggle to have them.

Also to add though that I actually wouldn't want to bring any more kids into the world as I think it's a pretty horrible world and I already feel guilty that I brought my son into it. But I had tunnel vision at the time and my hormones took over and I was determined to have a child.