Millie Mackintosh

[April0o]

I saw this posted on Instagram by the reality star/influencer Millie Mackintosh. Is it me or is this an unbelievable thing to post. She has listed her top 5 non-negotiables/priorities. Number 5 being quality time with loved ones. She says this is not a achieveable everyday, but does it at least once a week! She has two young children, I think they are 2 and 3 years old.

This is absolutely crazy to me. Shouldn't a parent spend quality time with their kids every day? I know I certainly try to. Even when I'm working and or extremely busy/tired, I always make sure I am there for bedtime or I'll play with them when I get home or even have a chat whilst preparing dinner etc. ...and thats the bare minimum.

It's really shocked me. I'd love to hear others thoughts. AIBU here in thinking this is unusual and not great parenting?

you're being totally unreasonable. I have 2 kids (teens). Im lucky to get an hour a day with them, usually less. My youngest will come home, go out and play, I will take him to whatever sporting activity he has, he will eat tea, have a shower then go on the xbox until 9pm. Then, if I am lucky he will grace me with his presence for an hour before bed, or, more likely, will get in his bed and gawp at his phone. We eat together as a family as much as poss but only 3 nights out of 7 are we all home at tea time. People have busy lives and we dont all have the luxury of 9-5 mon - fri jobs either

Really strange thread. What's it to you?

Not really. It's an opinion you disagree with about a stranger on Instagram.

It's a good list to have, but then I think maybe we should have our own lists with our own needs in mind.
I also think that our relationships with our families and children are all different, and we prioritise things differently.
Some people may need to preserve their sense of self outside of motherhood over prioritising their bond with their children. I don't think we, as women or society should necessarily judge that- it may be how they keep their heads above water.

But the names you mention have achieved something tangible whether you like them or not, people like the 'influencers' do nothing from what I understand of this pathetic game.

But true!

Define 'quality time' then? Maybe get down off your high horse while you're doing that?

There's a couple of references in there too about structuring her day around her children.

You've little to worry you.

I’d have assumed she means wider family, parents, grandparents, adult siblings and their children ect.

I doubt she's referring to her kids there... those are just her requirements as a working mother. Pretty sure the 'loved ones' she's referring to are close friends, siblings, parents.

Like everyone, sounds like she's just doing her best. There's no need to judge.

She does not mean her children. Stop pretending to be thick.

Bear in mind that quality time means different things to different people

Daily I get my son up, dressed, fed, ready for childcare, pick up, fed, bathed, book, bit of time on phonics/numbers/play between cooking, cuddles etc are frequent during this time - it's not quality time for me.

On the weekend we visit family/go to a farm/go to a park/zoo/even watch a movie or just spend time giggling - that's quality time. It depends on the routine and lives that you lead, as working parents most of our quality time lies at the weekend, and sometimes we tag team that so one can catch-up on household things that are behind and only get 1 'day out'/activity each with him. It is what it is but is also enjoyed and looked forward to

Who understands 'loved ones' to mean a person's actual kids? some things just go without saying, surely?

She doesn’t mean her own kids. I assume she means her wider family and friends.

I’m sure it does, my point was (but I clearly forgot to make it!) that she’s written this post seemingly to say here are my non negotiables for my mental health, maybe they will help you think about what you need for yours. It’s a bit off to criticise someone when they are trying to help others, whether you agree with her methods or not.

I can see why OP thought she meant husband and children. On the video, when she mentions that item on the list, it shows her husband and children by way of illustration, just as with the other list points. What it means exactly is probably another matter.

I asked, as I wasn't sure, but I see Millie did marry Hugo after all!

I think that's what she meant as it does show her husband and children in the video.

I would love to spend quality time with my son every day, and I am very privileged to get three whole days a week with him. But two days a week I don’t see him at all, because I leave for work before he wakes up and return after he is in bed. It’s really hard and I hate it.

I’m not inclined to break my heart over an influencer struggling to find time for family quality time because she’s hugely privileged, but many families don’t have time to spend together during the week because if the pressures of work. It’s the unfortunate reality of modern life.

Do you know she's actually referring to the children? Do you know what she regards as quality time? Are you always this judgy?o

Do people not realise the hyposcrisy of this? Calling someone "judgy" is itself unpleasant and judgy!

It seems these days that you can ask a question or express an opinion about anything and there is a pile on of attack calling the poster "judgy", like the one posting 'judgy' had never had a negative or critical thought in their head their whole life.

I don't understand it really. Life is full of people who are judging all of us each day on everything from work performance to what you sound like when you eat at your desk to trivialities like what you wear or how fat you are or how thin you are or how 'fake nice' you are to people you dislike or that you are divorced or single or married or whatever. Every time you leave your house someone will judge you for something.

It's just every day life. A person without an opinion is a dull empty shell anyway. The opening post is fair comment and people are free to agree or disagree but attacking them for being judgy as well as being hypocritical is just inane.

Maybe she meant her husband ? Maybe her loved ones don’t want to be on Instagram - after all not all 20 something socialites from Chelsea want to be on MiC.

By writing ‘quality time’ I would imagine she is referring to proper relaxed time as a family - a nice long walk, a day out, a roast dinner, playing games together, watching a movie, seeing grandparents etc etc. We cant do any of those things in the working/school week other than eating dinner together (quickly followed by homework)😅 so once a week is totally normal.

We try and do nice things one day of the weekend and the other day is more of a chill out day for the kids and catching up on jobs for us. I know friends do exactly the same.

Quality time may mean something different to her , is quality time getting the kids their tea , doing bedtimes etc ? I would say not and that she is classing quality time as more intense family time rather than chores

"She definitely means her children." Don't be silly. It is obvious she means the wider family. Maybe they prefer not to be in her video.

Baffled by people who analyse the posts of influencers/celebs as some sort of moral standard. She’s a toff who is paid to flog posh togs, not Rumi.

I don't spend a single moment of my life concerning myself with what an "influencer" does.

I understand and agree with your point. I believe what she means is that quality time refers to more than just the ordinary daily activities. Personally, I consider any time spent with my children to be quality time.