Millie Mackintosh

[April0o]

I saw this posted on Instagram by the reality star/influencer Millie Mackintosh. Is it me or is this an unbelievable thing to post. She has listed her top 5 non-negotiables/priorities. Number 5 being quality time with loved ones. She says this is not a achieveable everyday, but does it at least once a week! She has two young children, I think they are 2 and 3 years old.

This is absolutely crazy to me. Shouldn't a parent spend quality time with their kids every day? I know I certainly try to. Even when I'm working and or extremely busy/tired, I always make sure I am there for bedtime or I'll play with them when I get home or even have a chat whilst preparing dinner etc. ...and thats the bare minimum.

It's really shocked me. I'd love to hear others thoughts. AIBU here in thinking this is unusual and not great parenting?

I'm sure she doesn't mean her kids ffs.

She might mean extended family and friends.

She might not count the same things as quality time as you do. She might just see dinner and bedtime as ‘the bare minimum’ as you’ve said. She also doesn’t work a 9-6 job probably does strange hours for events etc. YABU to judge and make assumptions.

I don’t count reading to DS or playing with him or chatting to him as ‘quality time’ per se. I just count it as being his mum and our everyday interactions. ‘Quality time’ would be going out for a meal or a day trip or something. Maybe that’s what she means.

Why on earth do give a shiny shit about some random on the internet?

you do you. Stop feeding these vapid creatures

Even if she only did spend time with her kids twice a week she's sure as hell not going to tell people that.

Like some kind of Victorian mama.

I agree, I'm with my kids every morning and every afternoon/ evening often straight from school until they go to sleep but I don't feel like we have quality time every day. I'd count quality time as time when we're relaxed and not rushing around busy and I have time to properly listen to them and chat about things that are important to them/ have lovely moments and happy adventures together. That's definitely something I manage more at weekends than in the morning rush or the afternoon when I need to sort wfh/ dinner/ bath/ bed.

The clip in the video is an example of loved ones - just like the clip of nourishing foods is an example of nourishing foods, not what she eats every day.

She is very unlikely to mean her children. She might mean her husband, or her family and friends that don't live with her, but she's unlikely to mean seeing her children.

You've interpreted this bizarrely literally.

I read it as means people other than children, friends, family.

Who cares what influencers do? It's all instabollocks, as pp said above. All those#blessed and #gratitude really get on my tits.

If you insist that she must mean her children (because you would know for sure) then maybe it is about the difference between spending time with loved ones versus spending quality time with loved ones.

FWIW she isn’t a person that is really on my radar so maybe she’s truly awful but from your insider knowledge I think it is sad to put someone down about their parenting due to a list that they put on social media.

Even if she did mean children a lot of us parent on autopilot.

Maybe the definition of “quality time” is the issue here. Perhaps she feels that doing nappies isn’t quality time?

Life is busy. I am with my children everyday but I wouldn’t call it “quality time”.

Sounds pretty sensible and achievable to me. It’s important to look after your physical and mental health when you have kids. I didn’t prioritise myself at all and paid for it. I’m only just getting back to my recognisable self now my children are teenagers. In retrospect I would have been a much better parent if I hadn’t put all my needs aside for my family.

I think you answered your own question really with your comment - "I always make sure I am there for bedtime or I'll play with them when I get home or even have a chat whilst preparing dinner etc. ...and that's the bare minimum." That's it the bare minimum not quality time. Same with a spouse, quick coffee and a how was your day? when we get in from work, or a glass of wine together after kids in bed, a chat while doing another task are again in my opinion the bare minimum, quality time involves more. This is even harder when the loved ones are not around you daily so friends, extended family get less.

You’re misunderstanding her I think.

She clearly mentions having quiet time before the girls get up, so obviously cares for them daily. But it’s not necessarily quality time. I wouldn’t call my weekdays quality time with my kids. Getting them to school /me to work/ home from childminder/ bath and bed. Weekends can provide some quality time but my husband works a lot of them leaving me to catch up on housework etc. So for us, what I would call “quality time” as a family only happens now and then. Am I a bad parent?

I don't count that everyday stuff that you mentioned as quality time. I take it to mean time taken to go somewhere together, usually at the weekend to share in a meal or activity.

It depends how you define quality time. I work FT, everyday I have breakfast with my kids, walk them to school, fetch them, watch some tv, read bedtime stories. To me that is not quality time. At the weekend when we get to all do something as a family that's quality time.

You are misunderstanding her. Maybe she means her h? Maybe she struggles with one on one time with her kids like another current poster?

Doing bedtime or playing was part of my routine rather than quality time. Some weeks. Life is too busy that I ended up doing the routine of the day but no quality time.

As an influencer maybe she travels sometimes for work ? I remember seeing her range at Boots some Christmases, I’d imagine that something like that involves photoshoots and meetings and you can’t take kids.

Everyone’s definition of quality time is different. So if she is talking about time with her children she might not class the everyday things as quality time. I don’t class the everyday things as quality time as I’m often distracted by other things and work related stuff on my mind, I class quality time as time I’ve set aside so I can focus solely on doing whatever it is I’m doing and whoever I’m doing it with

I have no idea who she is, but I agree OP, if you can only achieve spending quality time with your loved ones once a week then I think the other priorities should give. I would forgo meditation and journalling in order to spend time with those I love.

I think she needs to clarify (actually I don't care, but for the sake of this thread!) whether she means her nuclear family i.e the people she lives with, or her wider family and friends.

She's had more holidays away from her kids than I've had hot dinners, they're basically raised by the nanny. I wouldn't take parenting advice/life advice from her OP

I just looked her up. They went on a long-haul trip to Mauritius with their 2 small children. That's got to be enough Quality Time to bank for a while!