Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Selling a birthday gift

53 replies

Neodymium · 09/01/2024 12:05

Need opinions.

We have an oculus quest. DS (almost 13) bought it just after his 11th birthday. For his 11th bday I can’t recall everything he got but I know he got a really good mountain bike. He had a bunch of friends over for a sleepover party and one of them brought his occulus. DS loved it and wanted to use his bday money to buy one. But he didn’t have enough. I paid for the other half. I don’t remember exactly how it was phrased but he says that I just bought it for him for his bday. I thought that I just paid half and so it’s half his and half family.

2 years on he barely plays it but DS14 likes playing it. DS12 wants to sell it as he wants to buy a computer instead. Note he has a laptop for school but wants a gaming PC. I have said he can’t sell it as DS14 likes playing it and I own half. He claims that I don’t own half and I just bought it for his bday, and therefore regardless of DS14 he has the right to sell it.

AIBU to say he can’t sell it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Neodymium · 09/01/2024 12:08

For reference DS14 got a peewee 50 motorbike for his 7th bday. When he outgrew it, it was passed down to DD10. (DS12 tried it and didn’t like it). It is understood now that the motorbike is DD. DS14 has mentioned selling it but I’ve said no as DD uses it now.

OP posts:
planetarynoodle · 09/01/2024 12:11

No sorry you gave it to him.

Lala727 · 09/01/2024 12:14

I don't think you can split gifts like that once the gift is given

GavinHendersonsChipPan · 09/01/2024 12:16

You gave it to him. It’s his.

check how much the resale value is on Facebook marketplace and ‘buy’ it off him by adding the value to his PC savings when the time comes.

Iwishiwasasilentnight · 09/01/2024 12:20

You gave it to him. It’s his to do with what he wants.

Fedupmumofadultsons · 09/01/2024 12:20

Don't be silly it's not half yours it's his gift just give him resale value for his pc .you can't give half a gift

Dutch1e · 09/01/2024 12:36

I agree that no matter who paid for it in what way, it does belong to him as it was his gift.

But if you can afford to, maybe offer to chip in an equivalent amount towards his PC if he hands over ownership of the oculus to his brother.

HanSB · 09/01/2024 12:40

You bought him a mountain bike for her birthday present? It was his choice to use his birthday money to buy the oculus afterwards and you helped him purchase it by contributing money towards it so it wasn't a birthday present. However I would give him some money, his half towards buying the next item and let his older brother keep the oculus.

Anjea · 09/01/2024 12:42

Huh? No it's his. He should be able to do what he likes with it.

craigth162 · 09/01/2024 12:44

Its his. You guys sound like you have a very weird way of 'giving' things. Same with the motorbike. Its his he can sell it. You want one for DD buy her one

Jollyoldfruit · 09/01/2024 12:45

You can’t control your dc’s possessions. Good heavens you sound very dictatorial.

WhamBamThankU · 09/01/2024 12:49

It's his, buy it off him.

HowAmYa · 09/01/2024 12:56

Does that mean if you paid for it fully, it would 100% yours? What?! I'm so baffled by your thinking.

What kind of weird gift giving is this? And the bike belongs to your DS14, how did you 'repossess' it and take ownership 🤣 did you put your DD on the logbook 🤣 sorry I'll stop now lol

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 09/01/2024 13:10

It's his, buy it off him.

TheDandyLion · 09/01/2024 13:11

Its not an asset that you have shares in.

Kittenkitty · 09/01/2024 13:24

Neodymium · 09/01/2024 12:08

For reference DS14 got a peewee 50 motorbike for his 7th bday. When he outgrew it, it was passed down to DD10. (DS12 tried it and didn’t like it). It is understood now that the motorbike is DD. DS14 has mentioned selling it but I’ve said no as DD uses it now.

I’m curious how did you justify this? You’re saying you own half the headset but clearly DS14 owned the whole bike here.

I appreciate it’s hard to be fair in big families but the approach feels really inconsistent.

TeaKitten · 09/01/2024 13:25

It’s his, buy it off him, just don’t pay over the odds.

TeaKitten · 09/01/2024 13:27

Neodymium · 09/01/2024 12:08

For reference DS14 got a peewee 50 motorbike for his 7th bday. When he outgrew it, it was passed down to DD10. (DS12 tried it and didn’t like it). It is understood now that the motorbike is DD. DS14 has mentioned selling it but I’ve said no as DD uses it now.

This isn’t ok either, why does she get to own his old presents rather than him? Your parenting style is going to breed resentment

Olika · 09/01/2024 13:27

Seriously?

Luckingfovely · 09/01/2024 13:30

This is seriously weird.

I'm hoping that an AI bot wrote this and nobody actually parents like that.

SirenSays · 09/01/2024 13:32

I'd think it was a very weird way of giving gifts if they were older. But for children, that's how hand me downs work. Most families can't afford to go out and buy a new version for each child. They get passed down.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 09/01/2024 13:35

I don't understand your reasoning at all
Lighten up or all your DC's will become resentful
You're treating this like a business deal
Let DS sell it if he wants to
Give him the half you paid and do the same for your son who wants one

Nineteendays · 09/01/2024 13:35

It’s his but maybe he could wait a bit before he sells it if his brother still plays on it.

my ds had a switch that he stopped using when he got his Xbox. His younger sister now uses it and loves it. He isn’t bothered and has happily taught her how to play minecraft. One day she’ll stop using it too and it’ll be up to ds what to do with it

Londonrach1 · 09/01/2024 13:39

It's a present it's his to do what he wants with. Buy it off him

Ormside · 09/01/2024 13:40

The bike is his too.