To say no! Twilight sessions (unpaid)

[LorlieS]

Can't sleep I'm so stressed!!
I'm working as a HLTA - paid hours 8.30 until 3.30.
Just picked up an email sent today telling me I need to attend two twilight sessions from after school until 6pm. Needless to say these will not be paid for and the first one is this week!
AIBU to say no?
Oh, and I also have a 3 yo and her childcare only runs until 4.30.

Just say it’s too short notice and you have no child care and could you join by zoom. At least you are showing willing.

You could talk to the nursery, quite often staff there also babysit.
BUT I’d just call in sick that day out of principle. Wasn’t enough notice! Can’t help when you fall ill. 😃

There's no point speculating or panicking until, like advised here by lots of people, you check your contract and speak to the school. If you have literally nobody to care for your child then you obviously can't attend, but you'll need to find a solution to this with the school or find another job that suits your situation better.

I am not a teacher, but I’m getting a bit frustrated how you aren’t answering questions or listening to school staff telling you about INSET days and how this session is potentially being paid!

anyway this week is too short notice I agree.

You need to start increasing your social circle, and getting babysitting if your mum and husband can’t do the childcare. In this instance your husband needs to step up.

Whatever the outcome if this you need to make the effort to make friends and start to use reciprocal arrangements for childcare. I am still friends today with many of the school gate families. My husband worked away a lot and I regularly had a friend's children on Sundays so she had some time to prepare for the week ahead and in return she helped me out when I needed it.
Some families belonged to a babysitting circle and shared cut up cardboard tokens. It all helped.

@EvilElsa I agree. Handing in my notice today and finally booking myself on to the MSc course I've been saying for years I will do (providing postgrad loan application is successful!!)

@Summonedbybees How do I make schoolgate friends when I am never at the schoolgates? I start work at 8.30 latest and finish 4.45 earliest. My mum has to do all of that.

This.

It isn't about whether TAs are expected to attend twilight's or not, it is the total lack of notice that is an issue. Those saying her DH needs to take leave also fail to appreciate that it is too little notice for him too.

This is poor planning on behalf of the SLT in OP's school. I would say you cannot make this week due to the short notice, then check if your DH can get time off for the second one.

Also, so many people assuming OP gets paid inset days off. With a disorganised SLT, that may not be the case.

It's a tricky time , I wouldn't want to be asking vague friends to look after my toddler during the witching hours, that's more appropriate for evening babysitting when DC will be asleep or for outings during the day.

I do wonder if your DM might be convinced to do it.Perhaps not the first one as you can say it's too little notice, but if you ask her nicely she might do the others once you tell her that it is actually in your contract.

Perfect! How exciting for you- a fresh start doing something you've always wanted to. Good luck!

Then your mother will know other parents and grans from school. Does your child never have play dates or go to parties etc? Everybody needs help with childcare sometimes. Most families are so keen to make contact with other families and children so they can support one another. Lots of families have the same problems with childcare. Play dates are a brilliant way of helping your child feel comfortable in a friend's house. You need to start extending play date offers at the weekends when you are free. It all helps

I worked full time. Which is why I made an extra effort to organise play dates and attend school events. It paid off and I made friends for life. Not doing the drop-offs is an excuse for not wanting to talk to other parents.

I imagine you are not the only staff member who will struggle with finding childcare at such sort notice.
If these courses are required and your contract states that the school are allowed to give such a short amount of notice then it's your problem to solve (and that doesn't mean I agree with it), if they've cocked up ("Oh shit....we need to show we've done these courses by the end of Jan") then speak up and stand your ground.

Odd that you can't afford childcare but can afford to quit your job at the drop of a hat...

Why would you decide to quit your job overnight when you struggle to pay the bills as it is?

I'm with @NorthernGirlie on this. Some school managements are shocking (and some are amazing, and you just wouldn't have this problem in those schools).

I had a similar thing happen to be (part-time teacher, expected to attend a meeting at short notice on my afternoon off). I refused to attend, head tried to put me on a disciplinary, but it turned out it was illegal for him to make me attend ANY meetings on my afternoon off.

The management are clearly a disorganised pile of shit, but will blame their uselessness on you. so leave ASAP, and because of the short notice, just don't attend the meeting, then get your union rep in if you have to. Remember management are probably getting paid quadruple what you're earning - their very job is to sort out these kinds of people issues, it's a basic management job. They crop up all the time in every school, and most HTs handle them in a kind and sensitive way.

And for goodness sakes stop stressing about it. If you don't have childcare due to short notice, then don't attend the meeting. Take control of your own life. Because the pay is so bad, some HLTAs have a second job, what would they do in that situation?

And I'm shocked by the number of PPs saying she should attend - even if she was a full-time teacher, I would question it in this situation, but she's just a HLTA on almost minimum wage. Why are so many of you colluding with the appalling management team? It's no wonder schools are in such a mess if poor management are actually supported and backed, instead of being called out for their uselessness. This problem has been caused by management, and they need to sort it out, not the OP. They have a duty of care, apart from anything.

I get the feeling that you'd find a way if they were paying you "overtime".

This isn't really about childcare.

Because OT would make up for hassle/ costs if last minute childminder?

Definitely say you can’t make it as you can’t get childcare at such short notice. As you rightly say, what are you going to do with your child? Anyway, you’ve handed in your notice now, so what are they going to do about it?! Sack you? Sue you? Of course not!

How on earth are you earning £30k combined? Did I misread that?

It sounds like it suits your husband to make out that his work is inflexible and he cannot take carers leave. I don’t believe him. Judging by salary he is at a fairly junior level, and even the consultants where I work would be entitled to take emergency or carers leave, even if it involved cancelling a clinic.

Having said this, it is crap from your employer to give such little notice and I would not be happy.

Surely your child gets invited to parties, play dates, you must take DC out at the weekends, sports clubs etc, went to baby classes, the library coffee shops. Parents of children you work with, there must be someone you know other than your mother.

I’m a HLTA and TAs in my school are expected to attend every twilight which is once a week. these are technically unpaid, but our last day of summer term falls on a Monday so we’re given that day off as time owed rather than use an inset day.

I’m surprised you haven’t been expected to attend previously.

There are two issues here.

SLT have given you unreasonably short notice of the first twilight session. In this case you will have to respond saying that it is impossible for you to attend as you were not given sufficient notice to arrange childcare. You won't be the only person in this position and they may have to offer a catch-up or rearrange it.

However, you need to stop referring to TOIL or overtime for twilights. Twilight sessions are used to disaggregate the equivalent of a full day of INSET over a series of late afternoon sessions. This then means that the school can close fully to all staff and pupils for a day, usually at the very end of term. In my local authority the last day of the summer term is Monday 22 July and any school who possibly can is taking this as a disaggregated INSET so that they can break up for the summer on Friday 19th. As a HLTA you will likely be contracted for 195 days and expected to attend all five INSETs, so you are not entitled to TOIL or overtime for attending a twilight session.

YANBU - don't do it. Why should you work for free.