To wonder what has happened to my Son's school

[k2493]

Just posting for thoughts

Both my kids have gone through the same secondary school. When my daughter started, the school was lovely and new with around 750 kids.

Fast forward to 2024 and there is now 1500 kids and it's become like a dictatorship.

Due to the number of kids, the school has put lines either side of the hallway that they have to walk within otherwise they get detention.

Every hallway is a one way system.

The minute they arrive in school, they have to remove their coats or it's detention even with no heating in the middle of winter. The other day my son arrived back to school to find that there were long queues outside while they did two uniform checks at the door. By the time he got in, he was frozen. Immediately he got shouted at for still having his coat on even though he had just stepped in from the cold.

He then went around the corner and got shouted at again even though he tried to explain it's really difficult to be expected to stay warm, keep moving and remove your coat all at the same time. Nope. Threaten with detention again.

AIBU to wonder what has happened to our education system? I'm lucky in that my son is quite strong minded and just brushes it off but what about the kids who's mental health this is impacting? Surely we want our kids to remember school as being enjoyable for their education and friendships rather than for being shouted at every two minutes for not walking between lines or not taking their coats off the minute they arrive in school?

I see, thank you.

And there's less P.E on the timetables too.

I do always think when hearing all the complaints about strict rules- if your child came home from school saying that they couldn't get on in lesson due to disruption/ bullying, wouldn't you want rules in place to protect them better?

They bring in the extreme rules because otherwise the kids don't behave.

I actually feel that parents should spend a few weeks in some of these schools and see what the teachers have to deal with. The nice kids who only occasionally forget something are not the target. It's the children who constantly ask for a pen every lesson (which then ends up broken in bits on the floor), the one's who decided I can't be bothered to go to History today so insist on walking the corridors. Who then get escorted to isolation, as we need to have somewhere to put them. The head having to ring home as a child has refused to go to isolation. After wandering the corridors. This is just a regular day at a average high school and no not all of these kids have problems that mean they can't learn they are just defiant.

This was hardly hurd of when I was at school, kids actually mostly did as they where told. You'd have maybe a couple in a year group who where a real pain but now it's every class. SLT spend the day retrieving them.and removing hence why we need more leaders then when we where at school.

Internal isolation was brought in to keep most kids who misbehave in school rather then expel them, which does also still happen but not to often.

I do, I have a 16 yo DS. He doesn't swear at me, he doesn't swear at anybody.

Look, I genuinely have struggled to understand where you are coming from maybe because I'm autistic. If you really are worried about being reported to SS for an ordinary talking to, you really needn't worry. Just because someone reports you, it doesn't mean SS will take action. I honestly, have never come across a parent scared to tell off their DC.

Yes, that is a fair point.

Tbf, I wasn't comparing the schools in that way. Just commenting that these schools appear to want to copy the Private or Grammar schools but actually go completely over the top.

My DS went to a non-uniform college for Y10 & 11. None of them wore designer items. Just jeans, t-shirt and hoodie. My DS's were from Primark. Noone cared.

Well, actually at some of these schools the good kids do end up being targeted. My Dd's friends from Primary were well behaved but now the constant detentions has made them give up. It's hardly helping the kids behave if the good kids behaviour is deteriorating.

I'm just so thankful my DD isn't at one of these schools because it would break her.

Why should kids have to follow arbitrary rules? Some of these replies read like from the Victorian era. I didn't go to school in the UK (luckily). We had discipline without being treated like criminals. And there are people on the other thread wondering why we have an attendance crisis!

Absolutely standard practice these days. I bet the senior staff are all ex PE teachers wearing navy suits and tan shoes.

Haha so true!

Just because they where good kids at primary doesn't mean they go on to be good at high school. Really I have never seen good kids end up with multiple detentions. My sons school had got very strict and he is so much happier for it as he can now learn in lesson rather then the constant disruptions.

@UndertheCedartree all kis swear at some point they are testing out there language. I'm under no illusion that my nice DD nd DS who don't swear at home have both done so with friends at some point.

The language you hear at school is similar to some.of the stuff I heard working with men in a factory. Most of the kids don't actually understand the meaning of.most of the words and do grow out of it.

Nothing happens over the summer after Y6 to suddenly turn kids bad!

As many people have said on this thread you have Y7 kids trying their best and they get multiple detentions for minor issues mainly due to them being new and just learning the ropes. It is breaking these DC.

I didn't say he doesn't swear, I said he doesn't swear at anyone. Maybe because I have taught him the difference. And he understands the meaning of words, because I have taught him as I'm now doing with his 11 yo sister. He has no need to do things only when alone with friends.

On the contrary, eating together and learning to be convivial are terrific skills, far outweighing most academic goals. Brilliant way to develop social skills and gain awareness of social issues. On the other hand, removing coats immediately under threat of punishment is bonkers and smacks of poor leadership.

What? How is this possible? PE teachers were always the dumbest and least capable of all the teachers.

This is a really interesting thread. My dd is year 9 and the second secondary school she’s been at (after being out of school for a year because no one would take her during year 8), is going horribly wrong. She has SEN - ASD, suspected ADHD and either ODD or PDA. She has a massive problem with teachers ‘shouting at her for no reason’, and being angry at her and the class in general. And then she either refuses to comply or gives them a load of lip back. I assumed it was her being a PITA and that the teachers were likely to be asking reasonable things of her. But maybe not, it seems that arbitrary rules are put in place in secondaries and enforced in a draconian manner, going by this thread. If she can’t see the logic in something she won’t do it, eg if she’s cold then no she won’t take her coat off. But obviously that’s not acceptable behaviour. I’m at my wits end with her, can’t get an EHCP, there’s no placements available even if I did get one and the council is about to go bankrupt. I really don’t know what the answer is. The stress of trying to get her to school has literally put me in hospital twice recently, neither of us can go on like this, but what else do I do when she needs an education? She’s not getting one because she’s on a very part time timetable and isn’t allowed into any lessons, and now refuses to go most days.

I don’t. It’s a total different approach to education, and it’s obviously not something that suits the UK. So you are right there, it would be deluded to think that. You could start by feeding them free lunch.

Some teachers said that was the problem - they are promoted beyond their capabilities.

This is the exact situation at the school dd is due to go to. I absolutely hate it. It seems to be the normal situation almost everywhere though.
Education has massively lost its way and needs a complete overhaul. Sadly it will never happen.

I've always had in my head that home educating is an option. It won't be easy, and I will doubt myself throughout if we go for it but we might.

Op this doesn't happen in most schools even strick one's realise that year 7's need time to adjust. Honestly parents really need to see what it is like in high school and yes so called good kids can then be a problem, often as they change as they get older or maybe don't cope well with the transition to high school. Maybe their primary didn't prepare them well enough.

This 100%. There’s been numerous issues since my kind, quiet son started secondary school. He’s not got into trouble at all, but I’ve seen some of his mates struggle, detentions handed out all over the place (often for things outside a child’s control) homework that doesn’t tie into topics being taught. No marking of homework- my son thinks it’s all very unfair.

Parents are fed up, kids being given detention for being 5 min late when their parents got a flat tire on way to school etc. parents have started pulling their kids out now when they have an unfair detention. As I told the head,they’ve lost these kids now. They were all so enthusiastic to start. Now they hate education

This is where open top desks were an advantage - a full set of equipment in each storage space to be put away at the end of lessons.
Also a dire need for lockers in most schools to store heavy books, coats and gym stuff.

This thread is very helpful. I thought it was just our school suddenly going off the rails but it sounds like it's a new trend in secondary schools. Upthread people were blaming ofsted and the government, is this coming from the DofE? In an election year it might be possible to get this issue some focus & hopefully reverse the trend.