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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not find it funny that my manager thinks it is a game to get me to start smoking again

13 replies

Notalone · 17/03/2008 18:01

I have just started a new job along with six others. As part and parcel of our training we have been allocated our own training manager who leads learning sessions and workshops to ensure we learn the job. I am the only one who doesn't smoke as I gave up last month, and have found if I chew gum instead it takes the cravings away (nasty habit I know but so much better than smoking - I will work on the gum habit later!!) Anyway, my manager asked last week during a training session why I always have gum on me so I explained why. He has now taken it upon himself to make it his "mission" to get me to start smoking again. He has actually gone as far as to take my gum off me, eat one himself and then offer them around the rest of the team so I have none left. I know its only gum and he really is a lovely guy so isn't being malicious but it really really pisses me off. If I say anything I am gonna look petty - after all it is only bloody gum - but why is he acting like a prize effing idiot fgs??!!

rant over - thats better!!!!

OP posts:
ChicaLovesHerLocalGreengrocer · 17/03/2008 18:07

He has now taken it upon himself to make it his "mission" to get me to start smoking again.

Er, how can he be ' a really lovely guy' if he's doing this?

YANBU

sparklyfairypie · 17/03/2008 18:11

YANBU - if you think hes a lovely guy Id hate to meet someone you think is a unsensitive wanker

policywonk · 17/03/2008 18:11

Can you have a quiet word with him, explain that stopping smoking is really important to you and that, although you know that he is only joking, his actions are actually undermining your resolution?

Or is he the sort of person who would take that as encouragment to undermine you further? If he does, I'd say it is bullying and you would need to go over his head.

Bloody well done BTW - a month, you're almost past the hardest bit.

gonaenodaethat · 17/03/2008 18:12

YANBU.

It's not funny and he sounds like a prat.

sagacious · 17/03/2008 18:12

He sounds like a twat not a lovely guy to me

Well done on keeping going

Notalone · 17/03/2008 18:13

Am not sure if having a word would work or would make me look petty. I am really new and don't want to rock the boat when I haven't been there very long. It is really annoying me now though. It was funny the first time but now I feel as though I have to hide my own chewing gum which is ridiculous. Aargghh!!!

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MrsBigD · 17/03/2008 18:14

Yanbu! Ask him nicely to stop it and if he doesn't mention that it's harrassment and that you will have to take further steps - maybe like passing his cigarets around so he won't have any left or worse... report him ;)

Good luck and well done for stopping smoking!

Notalone · 17/03/2008 18:14

PS - thanks for the encouragement. I am proud of myself even if people at work think smoking is a pre requisite of the job

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charliecat · 17/03/2008 18:18

he is so jealous.

Freckle · 17/03/2008 18:19

Why don't you try the nicotine patches instead? I'd like to see him try to take that off you and offer it round .

Notalone · 17/03/2008 18:51

Lol! He is being a thoughtless arse thats for sure

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girlfrommars · 17/03/2008 18:57

Try to get him on his own so that he doesn't have an audience to play to. Then you can tell him that you feel that he is behaving unreasonably.
People often get away with a lot of unpleasant behavoir if it's done in a 'jokey' way. If you remove the 'jokey' part it's basically bullying you in front of a group of your peers and encouraging them to get involved.
Well done for quitting. When I quit, anyone who hid my nicotene patches would have found themselves holding their own intestines .You're doing amazingly well to keep it up under so much pressure.

Notalone · 17/03/2008 19:15

Thanks Girlfromars - think that is probably the way to go. Thanks for the kind words too

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