To want to drink nice drinks at a party if that’s what I take?

[TempleOfBloom]

We often socialise in groups at each other’s houses. I don’t like Prosecco, and always take Cremant or Cava, or if red something mid range and drinkable.

Then inevitably get poured repeat glasses of the cheapest available Prosecco or nasty mass produced generic red that others have brought.

Can I reasonably manage to open and drink bottles I enjoy, or should I cut my losses and also take cheaper bottles and glug it regardless? (I can do this, I just don’t really enjoy it, so drink a lot less, which is fine)

I’m not talking really expensive connoisseur type bottles that I take, just mid range drinkable.

Why are people so afraid to say anything nowadays?

it's perfectly acceptable in our circle to bring the drink that you want and drink it and if there any left you take it home.

I like the way you think.

Maybe I’m just unoffendable and that’s a me problem, but I can’t imagine considering my dear friends rude for asking for a drink from a particular bottle of wine - that they’d bought! It wouldn’t even cross my mind to take that personally. I think it’s bizarre that you would.

Unless perhaps I owned a vineyard and the party was to celebrate the bottling of my own vintage label. That’s the only apt comparison to the one you’re making about food.

SIL needs gluten free/sulphate free wine. It results in her having her own stash no one else is allowed to touch! Can you do this?

Why would you find it rude for a friend to bring a drink they like and for them to drink it in preference to something they don't like?

OP, just take the drink you want and when you get there/ repours etc just say "oh, can you pour me a glass of the stuff I bought".

Job done.

I’m the absolute opposite. If someone brings a bottle with of something with them, I don’t consider that mine at all. When offering them a drink I actually ask them if they’d like me to open the bottle they brought with them. Because that’s just polite, and everyone has personal preferences with drinks! Why anyone would be offended by someone drinking something they like is beyond me. I don’t take that as a personal slight against me. How bizarre!

Reading your posts, am I right in assuming all bottles go on the kitchen counter, and the guests pour their own drinks (after the first one perhaps)?

in that case anything half decent will be targeted by the other guests and your bottle will disappear fast. The only thing to do is bring plonk like everyone else I'm afraid.

Exactly. This is the dilemma!

Though I think they target any open bottle, tbf.

Of course you can! I couldn’t bear to be friends with people who attach so much importance to nonsense ceremony and made up rules like that. I feel stifled and uncomfortable just thinking about a house party where that sort of offense might be taken. You’d hate to be friends with me! 😂

This is the way to do it

Thank you all, I am off now to create a dessert and make some pea shoot and beetroot wine for the party that I am looking forward to attending tomorrow.

Have a great weekend, however your socialising happens.

I agree with you! When I’m hosting I always ask the guest if they’d like a glass of what they just handed me as I hate seeing my lovely bottle disappear and then drinking Prosecco 😂 but usually you get a choice - red/white/bubbles? Kind of hard to get your fresh bubbles if there is already one on the go, but usually easier to get the specific wine that you brought? It’s tricky through and you are really at the mercy of the hosts on this one. Maybe a solution is to bring a gift wine and a your wine. So say “this is for you!” To host, and hand them the gift, then say “I’ve brought this one to drink! Where is the bottle opener?”.

One time I made the mistake of taking my absolute favourite wine from other side of the world on the assumption that we would all share it - and it was packed away. Heart breaking!

Not all prosecco is hideously sweet, there are lots that are brut (and usually more expensive.) Easier to say you don't drink any bubbly that isn't extra-dry at a minimum.

But if everybody tends to bring cheap plonk and the good stuff goes fast I think I'd tend to stick with beer 😁easier quality control.

When I’m hosting I always ask the guest if they’d like a glass of what they just handed me as I hate seeing my lovely bottle disappear and then drinking Prosecco

I find that very Ill mannered. I can’t image going to someone’s home and them saying thanks would you like to drink it. It comes across as you don’t want to provide for them, no matter how you phrase it, and generally when people bring a bottle it’s as a gift for the host or a contribution to the evening, not a gift for themselves to sit and drink.

You’ve developed an intolerance to something often found in wine (sulphites?) so to make absolutely sure, you need to drink a certain type that you know won’t affect you.

Oh bless him. One of mine is ND and I know the stress of trying to ensure that the one thing they can eat / drink is available. I love that you were able to get loads more for him ❤

OP- I really get the frustration. We like to take relatively decent bottles and then they get put away. But I think it has to be chalked up to 'one of those things'. But really frustrating I know.

But this is a good idea too.

Op you need to find yourself classier friends with comparable tastes

I've a friend who does this, she doesn't like prosecco so brings a couple of bottles and drinks out of them...she's not a huge drinker so there's usually a bottle left, she drinks half a bottle and someone else will have the rest.

Think even though it’s a large group of about 20 you can still let people know that you don’t like the Prosecco and have brought along some cava. Saying it gives you a head ache is always a good excuse but it means others should make sure you get most of it.

Is there a WhatsApp group for the group? Or even just letting some know that you are close to. Word soon spreads. Although that can leave you open to an eye roll if they aren’t a friendly bunch I guess.

regardless of moving in wealthy or formal circles, presumably those friendships still allow for you to be honest and get to know each other instead of feeling awkward?

Absolutely @alcohole. I have a friend who only drinks gin and tonic and not wine and another friend who only likes red wine. I always make sure that we have the right drinks in, and take the right drinks when eating at theirs.

I understand not wanting to risk offending an acquaintance or a colleague and following perceived etiquette to the letter, but why would a friend be offended - surely your relationship has progressed where you can speak to them openly/on the same level

I think you may be mixing me up with another poster. We have the kind of friendships where we can be pretty open about our likes and dislikes, and it is never perceived as rude. We don't entertain people we hardly know, nor do we get invited to parties of people we hardly know.

I went to db over Xmas and drank the wine I took.
"Sorry I'm a bit picky with wine and I didn't want to be any bother"
Db didn't care

I can, just bring two bottles, one to give and one to drink yourself. There is nothing 'princessy and rude' about drinking what you prefer, especially as there is no cost differential. I'm like the OP, back when I drank I couldn't stand prosecco, it always tasted off to me. Cava is far better (and champagne better still, although I can see why that might seem a bit snobbish) Life's too short to drink what you don't enjoy just to be polite.

Yes I agree. Neither is superior to the other but they are different. I like both - or crémant for that matter.

Thanks for the lovely comment - I was worried I was going to be very judged!