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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to have to use the mens toilet

142 replies

capabilityfrowns · 03/01/2024 18:57

I'm being investigated for multiple sclerosis and have been off work for some months .

My medical investigations are ongoing and I'm have mobility problems, however I e had to go back to work . The OHU suggested working from home but my supervisor says she wants me in the office at least 2 days a week . My dept recently moved to a new building

She told me the kitchen and toilet were on the ground floor where I will be working.
I went in for first time and discovered the "disabled accessible toilet " is actually the mens toilet on the ground floor - I have to walk through a urinal to get to the loo- this is making me uncomfortable because some bloke could be stood at the urinal as I exit the loo. ! The women's toilet is upstairs and there is no lift .

Ive tried to explain that I'm more productive from home and I can do my job from anywhere but she is holding firm on wanting me in the office 2 days a week which I'm already struggling with.

The toilet is the mens with an "accessible " sticker on the door but I still have to walk through the urinal space either way .
Aibu to say I'm not comfortable using the only toilet I can access ? It's ridiculous. I have to knock before I walk in and shout before I exit the cubicle in case I'm met with a penis !

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Coffeespill · 03/01/2024 18:58

That can't be legal!

Fern86 · 03/01/2024 18:58

This is so unacceptable!

capabilityfrowns · 03/01/2024 18:59

I've no idea but I'm worried about making waves because the new location is so much closer to my home and my supervisor thus far has been very understanding. I have loads of medical appointments coming up too.

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BlueMum16 · 03/01/2024 19:00

They need to put a lock on the outer door so only one person can use it at one time.

It is then a unisex bathroom.

capabilityfrowns · 03/01/2024 19:03

BlueMum16 · 03/01/2024 19:00

They need to put a lock on the outer door so only one person can use it at one time.

It is then a unisex bathroom.

I'll suggest that - the building is ancient and crumbling and I found myself locked in the cubicle last week because the doors warped .

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BillieJ · 03/01/2024 19:03

I would refuse to do this.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 03/01/2024 19:03

To be clear, you can't walk up and down stairs now? And the only accessible toilet is in the men's toilets on the ground floor? Does your manager know that? If all those things are correct then that's appalling. Talk to your manager again to make the situation crystal clear. She may not have realised you had to walk past urinals to get to it.

TwinklingLightsEverywhere · 03/01/2024 19:04

They can't make you access the toilet by walking past urinals that may be being used. It is also unfair to the men who don't want a woman wandering through when they're having a pee.

Speak to HR dept and put in a complaint. I would tell them I'm wfh until they solve the issue but I understand you might not feel comfortable saying that - I would expect HR to say it immediately though.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 03/01/2024 19:04

Cross post. Good suggestion from PPs to put a lock on the outer door.

AgnesX · 03/01/2024 19:05

Wow! There's not a female loo you can access??

Actually it doesn't surprise me now I think about it 🙄

Ponderingwindow · 03/01/2024 19:05

They need to add a lock to the outer door so that while you or anyone else are using the room, you are the only occupant.

I have used unisex bathrooms that have a urinal, as in there is just one It’s actually a benefit because it keeps the toilet area cleaner. There is always a locking outer door though. Only one user at a time.

Brandyginger · 03/01/2024 19:05

I’m pretty chilled but I wouldn’t accept this as an ongoing solution where I might see work colleagues urinating. Lock on outer door or WFH.

FlabMonsterIsDietingAgain · 03/01/2024 19:07

I'm sure a woman recently won an employment tribunal because she had to walk past the urinals to get to the toilet she needed to use. Going to try to find it.

FlabMonsterIsDietingAgain · 03/01/2024 19:08

That was easier to find than I thought it would be

www.peoplemanagement.co.uk/article/1812684/female-office-clerk-required-use-mens-toilets-victim-direct-sex-discrimination-tribunal-rules

capabilityfrowns · 03/01/2024 19:08

StepAwayFromGoogling · 03/01/2024 19:03

To be clear, you can't walk up and down stairs now? And the only accessible toilet is in the men's toilets on the ground floor? Does your manager know that? If all those things are correct then that's appalling. Talk to your manager again to make the situation crystal clear. She may not have realised you had to walk past urinals to get to it.

She works with me in the same office she knows because she showed me what toilet I can use

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capabilityfrowns · 03/01/2024 19:13

I'm going to go in tomorrow and check there isn't a lock on the main door that I've missed - I'll take photos - then tell them at the point I need the loo I'm going home to work .

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MargotBamborough · 03/01/2024 19:13

capabilityfrowns · 03/01/2024 19:08

She works with me in the same office she knows because she showed me what toilet I can use

Have you asked her why she isn't walking past men peeing at the urinals to use those same toilets herself then?

airforsharon · 03/01/2024 19:13

Ask her directly if she would be happy to use a toilet that could mean her walking past a male colleague urinating? Embarrassment aside, it puts female staff at risk.
I'd bet good money she wouldn't.

FlabMonsterIsDietingAgain · 03/01/2024 19:14

Having read the articles about the employment tribunal, the absolute minimum they need to offer to do is put a lock on the external door so that you can lock it and no one else can walk just to use the urjnal while you are in the space. Still not perfect but might keep them clear of being discriminatory.

MandyMotherOfBrian · 03/01/2024 19:19

They can't declare the toilet 'Accessible' just because it's on the ground floor. There's a whole definition for how/why a toilet is deemed 'Accessible' under the Equality Act 2010, organisations have a duty to provide accessible goods and services.

CaramelMac · 03/01/2024 19:21

That’s disgraceful, I bet it stinks too.

Have you spoken to your male colleagues, I’m sure they wouldn’t be happy to know you might walk past them when they’re using the urinal. If more than one person is complaining it’s harder to ignore.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 03/01/2024 19:21

capabilityfrowns · 03/01/2024 19:08

She works with me in the same office she knows because she showed me what toilet I can use

Christ alive.

capabilityfrowns · 03/01/2024 19:22

I know - I'm just really worried about making a fuss because they've been so good up to now ,

I've written a text to send tomorrow morning asking if there's a lock on the outer door and why it's bothering me.

The toilet itself is too low for me to get off without holding the loo seat to push myself off it but that also leads me to a dilemma because I don't really want to touch the mens loo!

I might contact my occy health advisor. Tho their recommendation is t legally binding.

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