To not want to have to use the mens toilet

[capabilityfrowns]

I'm being investigated for multiple sclerosis and have been off work for some months .

My medical investigations are ongoing and I'm have mobility problems, however I e had to go back to work . The OHU suggested working from home but my supervisor says she wants me in the office at least 2 days a week . My dept recently moved to a new building

She told me the kitchen and toilet were on the ground floor where I will be working.
I went in for first time and discovered the "disabled accessible toilet " is actually the mens toilet on the ground floor - I have to walk through a urinal to get to the loo- this is making me uncomfortable because some bloke could be stood at the urinal as I exit the loo. ! The women's toilet is upstairs and there is no lift .

Ive tried to explain that I'm more productive from home and I can do my job from anywhere but she is holding firm on wanting me in the office 2 days a week which I'm already struggling with.

The toilet is the mens with an "accessible " sticker on the door but I still have to walk through the urinal space either way .
Aibu to say I'm not comfortable using the only toilet I can access ? It's ridiculous. I have to knock before I walk in and shout before I exit the cubicle in case I'm met with a penis !

I'd be more than happy with a few hours in the office to touch base but mainly work from home - my sgt isn't happy with that .

I'm going to raise this tomorrow via a text before I go in , and gauge the response .

I think I'll be contacting my OHU advisor again as she had already suggested speaking with the force doctor which had been swerved.

I've left a message with occy health to get my nurse to call me asap .

I understand the financial predicament you are in and why you don't want to rock the boat. If you are still on sufficient sick pay, your GP should be more than happy to sign you off until a suitable solution can be found. I worked in a building whereby I could only access the upper floors via a lift, the lift broke and they didn't want to fix it. My GP signed me off until it was fixed.

I'm so sorry you're in this position. It's hard enough to cope with the tests and potential diagnosis without this crap being thrown into the mix. Sending gently (very unmumsnetty) hugs

Thank you so much but I've only recently started back after months off with optic neuritis which has permanently damaged the nerves in my eye - if I go off again I'm subject to uap - unsatisfactory attendance which can lead to dismissal so I can't risk another spate of sickness.

As an ex cleaner, I have to say that the ladies loos always won hands-down in the ‘top trumps’ stakes I’m afraid!

It's a tiny disused station . Neither loo is abused

Has your supervisor actually looked at the toilet or simply seen the 'accessible' sticker on the door? Is she aware there is a urinal? A lock on the outer door seems like a cheap fix. Removing or disabling the urinal and installing (and servicing) a sanitary bin would also help. Still a long way from acceptable really but might give you somewhere usable.

Yeah she's seen it . She thinks the fact there is a loo on the ground floor is enough for me to be back in . She believes that being around my colleagues will be better for my mental health which I get - I've been isolated for months - probably a year or more . Her heart is in the right place.

She genuinely believes I need company. I have become severely depressed so she's trying to get me mixing again . She's really trying hard to get me back to some normality and her heart really is in the right place . She's been incredibly supportive while I've been off . And that's why I don't want to make any waves tbh . She's lovely . And the best Sgt I've had .

I would be asking a toilet frame as well as a locking external door. They're not expensive and you shouldn't have to touch the seat with your hands to get up.

That's bloody awful & I'm sure illegal.

If you really can't speak up (you really shouldn't be penalised for asking them to behave legally!!) are there any male colleagues who would group together to say they're uncomfortable with their toilet being used as an "accessible" toilet? Might get a change made without you head going over the parapet?

Sorry you've got this extra crap to deal with on top of the rest 💐

If she has your best interests at heart she should be happy to get an external lock added to the outer door and a toilet frame so you can get up without touching the seat with your hands. These are small adjustments and aren't expensive at all. It's very reasonable to ask for those small accommodations.

Mixing in the toilet probably isn't going to help you though!

Thanks- I will ask for those small adjustments

If there’s no lock I wondered about you putting a sign on the entrance when you use it. Something that covers the men’s sign. ‘Women only’ or ‘in use’

Ask for a lock on the inside and cleaning equipment in the loo cubical so everyone can clean up after themselves.

if you’ve been depressed the company will help.

I'm so sorry this is happening and causing you sleepless nights and stress. They really should be putting a proper accessible loo in for you and anyone else who may need it. It's hard enough adapting to disability without having to deal with this.

if you dont want to "make a fuss" then you need to explain to them what an accessible toilet is. regardless of if you personally are in a wheelcjair, the room needs to fit one in, and by that it means clear space next to the toilet, the ability to turn the chair around, to be able to wash hands from a sitting positon. a raised toilet, bars around it, an emergancy alarm cord that touches the ground (so many are tied up "out of the way" that if someone fell they cant reach it. this is a legal requirement, which if they are the police they should surely understand. also as you dont currently have an accessible toilet in your building, they aren,t actually able to hire disabled people, which is also illegal. they also cant fire you for requesting a usable toilet. its not making a fuss, they believe they are providing you with an accessible toilet, so they need to know what an accessible toilet requires, its covering them from being sued too so in their best interests. personally id still have issue with it being in the mans toilet and there is sexual assault, even falsely accused risk there, but thats a whole other thing and you dont seem to want to confront them about that part for fear of being a pain, so the only other option is to make it actually accessible.

one other thing, how do the male co workers feel about you using the toilet? maybe you can get them on board and state they dont feel comfortable with you being in their loo?

Your friend is being ridiculous. You are asking for something which legally you are entitled to. Your employer has a duty of care towards you

Please do not send a jokey text.

Raise this to show this is not acceptable from a well-being perspective

They've put a bolt in the outside door and stuck a notice on the door saying it is now a unisex and disabled toilet . Hilarious!

At least with a lock it can be the former, but it's still nowhere near meeting the guidelines for being the latter.

Can your occ health service come in and assess the building's suitability for you, as well as assessing you in isolation?

That's great news about the lock.

As you don't want to rock the boat please sit down with your manager and explain the bathroom isn't accessible in terms of disability other than being on the ground floor. State you need some grab bars and an emergency pull cord

Follow this up with an email just confirming the conversation.

If she's as supportive as you've said then I'm sure she'll sort it for you. They probably don't know

I'm sorry you are going through this but you need to advocate for yourself. No one else will.

It does sound like the office is the best option for you, both for your mental health and in terms of being a suitable commute. You just need to resolve these minor issues.

As for OH, these are recommendations only. A business can say No.

Access to Work will be amazing. There's about a 8-10 week wait. Once they have an official report stating to do something it's hard for them to refused.

Good luck.

That's good! Does it have all the grab rails etc?