Sorry in advance for the long post. Regular poster but have name changed.
Short backstory:
My dad is elderly and retired.
My mum is 20yrs younger but was until recently a functioning alcoholic. Has been slowly deteriorating for the last 2/3 years but took a massive turn for the worst about 6 months ago where she became non functioning, attempted suicide multiple times and eventually got signed off work. Since being signed off about 3 months ago her downward spiral had gotten exponentially worse because now she doesn't even have a 'reason' to pretend to be normal or get out of bed except to get drunk. Her muscles are basically wasting away because she can't stand up for any length of time anymore. She faints a lot and gets dizzy/nauseous. She's stopped eating and has constant bowel issues/stomach pains. So effectively my dad is her carer at the moment.
She been seeing a therapist/councillor who has basically said that we aren't to restrict her alcohol intake and that she has to stop herself. She has also been offered medication which will quash the cravings but she can't take it until she actually stops drinking completely which she won't do. Supposedly she needs to cut down gradually and then stop and can then go on the medication to help her quit for good. But the problem is SHE'S AN ALCOHOLIC so she can't/wont cut down. My dad enables her by giving her alcohol when she asks for it, she is so unstable and unsteady on her feet that he says she is at serious risk of injuring herself if he doesn't give it to her and she leaves the house to go to the shop to get some. Or she could leave the house to attempt suicide again (she has done both on multiple occasions).
I'm honestly at my wits end. I live 300 miles away and don't drive so I'm making an 18 hr coach round trip every couple months to visit and try to help but anything I try to do to help is immediately undone as soon as I step out the door. Seeing her deteriorating so far and so fast is genuinely breaking my heart and I don't know what else to do, if anything even can be done. I've spent most of the Christmas/New year period just crying my eyes out because I'm so stressed. It's literally all I'm thinking about at the moment. I can't eat or sleep for worrying.
The way I see it I have one of 2 options. I can either quit my job/take extended time off and move in with them for a while and just double down, do absolutely everything I can think of to help. At least then if the worst happens eventually then I'll know I did everything I could even if it wasn't enough.
Or I can let her go and accept the fact that she's going to drink herself to death and there's nothing I can do about it. Try and withdraw as much as I can and keep visits to a minimum to save my own sanity.
Is there another option? I feel like an absolute monster for even considering option 2 but I'm just so broken by all this, my own MH isn't brilliant at the best of times and watching her destroy herself is killing me. I'm so angry at both of my parents, her for being unable to stop and him for enabling her and yet simultaneously so sad for both of them and just absolutely desperate. I want to scream and rage and throw out every scrap of booze in the house but what's the point when I know they will just get more?
Please be gentle I am trying really hard to hold it together at the moment and no idea where to turn or what to do. Any advice is greatly appreciated.