Deleted after a few years. Am I a terrible person?

[MysticalMagical7]

I was with my ex for 5 years. We ended mutually and respectfully (just fizzled out) and I always think fondly for him. We split up in 2020.

We are not in contact but civil, still friends on social media. Until the other day when I saw him on suggested friends. He absolutely hated his ex (cheated on him) and he’s still friends with her.

I thought he always thought fondly of me too, and turns out he likely hates me which is why he deleted me.

I don’t know why I’ve taken this to heart but I really have? Why would he do this?

This. People are always deleting me as friends on Facebook and I think nothing of it.

To be fair I deleted an ex from socials because we had both moved on. It might have helped more if I didn't like her really. Easiest to draw a line under it.

In general I think it's much healthier not to follow exes on social media, you both need to move on. Maybe he's come to this conclusion too? Or I usually do a check about once a year where I look at my friends list and think "do I still want this person reading my posts?". I then delete anyone I have had no interaction with for over a year or so. You are both in each other's pasts, not futures.

@WonderfulUsername I’m not blaming another woman. I’m just making the point that a lot of people aren’t keen on their partner being in touch with an ex, especially if it’s an ex they speak fondly of. Men and women alike. Many people don’t like it. It doesn’t mean the OP’s ex has suddenly decided he hates her. But it seems quite likely he is prioritising the feelings of a current partner.

If this is always happening I'd say that maybe you do need to wonder why

Of course people delete friends for various reasons but to have it happen all the time suggests you might be the problem

I'm pretty sure that if you delete someone Facebook won't suggest you to the person you deleted so if that's happened maybe he's made a new account rather than deleted you

I deleted my ex because he broke my heart and I didn’t want to see him living it up with someone else.

I deleted and blocked people who I've found it hard to get over. It's the best way to move on, rather than torturing yourself. I've also deleted people who I don't think about anymore and see no point in seeing updates about their life.

There are people I know who are always coming up as suggested friends as they've opened a new account under the same name. Or perhaps they or I have deleted people.by accident and not even realised

That’s a serious level of over investment in an ex. You’re even stalking his social media , you split 3 years ago.

i think you need to get some help in the form of counselling or see a doctor.

People need to learn to not care so much about social media. It is not real life. You split up 3 years ago and you are not, going by your OP, in contact in the real world. What does it matter if he unfriended you? It only impacts you because you are choosing to get upset about it. You can just as easily choose not to give a shit.

Facebook never delete friends, never have done and still don’t. The only explanation is if you didn’t remove him, and someone who has access to your account didn’t, then he deleted you.

I had an ex - one that I had dumped - want to stay 'friends' on facebook. I really didn't, there was no point as far as I was concerned as we lived hundreds of miles from each other, had no mutual friends and it was very doubtful we would have any reason to see each other ever again.

He also thought he had the right to demand that I not post anything about my new relationship online where he may see it...even though he had been the one who had told me that I 'wasn't his girlfriend' and that we should both feel free to move on to someone else if we felt they were more suitable...obviously he didn't like it when I did exactly that!

He kept pestering me with long emails about why I should be with him instead for about 3 months after we split. I ignored them, and he eventually unfriended me. It was a relief.

Your ex has probably realised there's really no point in you being 'friends' online.

Do you post pictures of your food ?

You broke up more than 3 years ago. Move on.

Repeat after me
“it doesn’t matter “

I thought the same, but sounds like he really moved on from his first girlfriend and can’t care less her about her, maybe he’s having a hard time moving on from you while seeing your feed. I have old ex’s on my social media who I’m glad to see their happy photos with their family/ spouses but I can’t say the same about my recent ex. I wouldn’t bother too much OP, everybody grieves different and men’s grieve takes longer than women because they’re more “emotionally handicapped”.

Oh for goodness sake 😂 that’s like something out of dear Jackie.

irs been 3 years, the guys moved on. Simple. The op is the one who needs help.

Cloned or hacked accounts can come up on your suggested list. It's happened with me a few times and when I go into my friends list they are already listed as friends, so I've screenshot it and sent it to their older account.

On one occasion an acquaintance did unfriend me and came up on the suggested friend list but tbh, she lives the other side of the world, was someone I worked with for about a year or so and probably will never meet again so if she did a friends list cull so what? I should probably do the same to be honest, but instead I've just stopped really using FB.

As well as that, people are becoming more selective on their social media. I know someone who is on FB but only to follow a specific hobby group and doesn't have anyone even best friends on it as friends.

So there could be a few reasons for him not showing up as your friend any more that is no reflection on you.

Why would you want to be friends with an ex? I never understand this - unless you have kids, why would you stay in touch with them. And even if you did have kids there is zero reason to be on socials with an ex. He's an ex for a reason. Delete and move on.

Because you’re an ex, move on

What everyone else said. It was mutal, non dramatic. So he's indifferent and removed you. He's kept the others because of the grudge and clearly wants to keep an eye on what she's up to.

It's not difficult.

Major over reaction. I've deleted numerous people on fb over the years. Never once because I hated them

Usually because we no longer interact, sometimes because of something they've posted.

You're an ex. You're not part of his life. Deleting you sounds reasonable after this length of time

youre being dramatic with he hates me thinking.

the rise of social media has made break ups bizarre as fuck, and everyone over thinks follows and likes and unfollows, no one needs to keep up with their ex and all their postings. Maybe he just wants an actual clean break after 3 years.

If he hated you, wouldn’t he have deleted you at the time? It seems odd that a fairly amicable break-up three years ago would suddenly morph into hatred.

On an unrelated note, surely it shouldn’t be possible to come up as a suggested friend for someone you’ve deleted?

You really need to get a grip, this is the reaction of a 12 year old .