AIBU to worry about the hold alcohol has on the UK?

[whyhere]

Prompted by a thread about an alcohol-free wedding, and some of the comments therein ('boring.... wouldn't go.... take a hip-flask....'), it seems to me that the need for/expectation of alcohol has really taken a grip in this country. Can people really not enjoy anything without alcohol? Is it really impossible to create a soap scene without alcohol being involved (yes, EE, I'm looking at you!)?

Anyone doing dry January? (Full disclosure - come from a family of alcoholics and have been sober for around fifteen years.)

I enjoy going out and getting drunk (I haven't in months).

I don't harass people and I don't act like a mess and lose control.

On the other hand I've barely had a drink since the summer. had one cider at my work Christmas party and that was it. I enjoyed the food and enjoyed chatting to my colleagues.

Totally agree. I don't drink, but I did. I didn't stop for any particular reason, just happened and one day I realised it had been a couple of years and I wasn't bothered anymore.

I grew up in a family of non-drinkers too, on my mums side there were religious reasons so alcohol was never featured at our parties or events.

It's perfectly possible to have fun, sing, dance etc without alcohol. But I think there's a combination of people worrying about "looking silly" and alcohol removing those anxieties than make people feel like a dry event will be awful.

I would find a dry wedding quite strange and, depending on what the reason is (have read that thread) think given the B&G themselves are not known to be dry they should have indicated this in advance to their guests purely so they make informed decisions regarding driving/accommodation - as with the OP on that thread whilst I would find it strange, my main issue would be not being told as if knew it was a drivable distance and we wouldn't be drinking, would definitely drive home rather than pay for a hotel. I wouldn't not go and/or sneak a hip flask in though.

I agree that I think the issue isn't alcohol itself but the normalisation of binge drinking / just drinking too much in general. I like a glass of wine with a nice meal at the weekend, maybe a G&T on Fri / Sat evening. I don't think I drank loads beforehand (maybe around 7-8 units a week) but have consciously been cutting down - for weight loss really, but have been surprised a the difference I feel between really only one / max 2 drinks of a weekend evening versus no drinks. I'm not planning on going tee-total but think for the most part I'll make it a more once or twice a month rather than a couple of drinks every weekend thing.

That that being said I don't judge someone for not drinking and I wouldn't judge someone for drinking and being merry unless they were a drunken mess and consistently going over their limit and just ruining it for others.

Yes, but another poster pointed out that we feel the same about there being a lot of good food at a wedding (more than just the food we need to live). Should we be worried about using food to socialise too?

I don't think that's a very good comparison at all. People expect food and drink (as in liquid) at weddings because apart from anything else they go on for hours and hours. Obviously they'd rather have nice food than not nice food. I don't think they expect excessive quantities of food. Most weddings I've been to have had a 3 course meal, but not big portions. Meanwhile everybody knows that the main reason people want wine at a wedding is because it's a social lubricant because of its effect on inhibitions.

No we shouldn't be worried about 'using' food to socialise, because it's not a mind-altering substance, does not cause people to engage in anti-social or risky behaviour, make them incapable of driving, or make them offend auntie Mabel, throw up in the plant pot, snog someone they shouldn't or generally embarrass themselves etc.

Nobody "uses" food to socialise. Everyone needs to eat every day, and it's being a good host to provide a meal that others will share. It's a very basic and convivial act.

Yeah I don't understand this comparison either. People need to eat so providing food at an event over meal times is universally expected, they don't need alcohol.

You don't need alcohol as PP said. The liquid can be juice, or coke or a mocktail.

When I've been to Hindu weddings I don't grumble about the lack of meat and alcohol.

Yeah so they could just have toast, or porridge if we're cutting it back to essentials

I don't need alcohol to enjoy a wedding but it does liven up what is normally really quite a dull day for guests.

I’m also puzzled at the idea weddings have good food. Some have better food than others, and you’d expect it to be edible, but mass catering never produces great food.

I can only imagine the MN thread if somebody posted about going to a wedding where they’d been told to make sure to eat beforehand as no food was to be served because the host didn’t want to encourage the fatties who can’t help themselves from overindulging.

Indeed they could. If that's the food they want, who are we to judge? Don't want to eat that at a wedding? Feel free to decline the invite. Same as if the drink doesn't suit you.

But the point of this thread is to discuss why people feel like they can't have a good time without alcohol to help them.

I could do with a thread like that to brighten my day up today!

I could imagine that thread being posted tbh, people on MN seem to have no issue posting about disgusting lardy fatties whilst simultaneously insisting they couldn't possibly enjoy themselves at a wedding without booze.

Food is an essential. You need to eat to survive to get through a day. A fat person eating lots of food doesn't usually mean they lose control and puke in the bushes.

You don't need alcohol FFS. It's a mind altering substance and quite literally a poison.

I don’t drink, I come from a family of people that don’t drink ( with the exception of my sister who drinks like a fish), we don’t have alcohol on the house unless it’s been gifted or it’s a special event but even if find it’s strange going to a wedding without alcohol because it’s a special occasion and half of the fun is wondering who’s going to make a tit of themselves.

How long are the weddings you're going to?

You don't need food at a wedding any more than you do alcohol. You're not going to suffer without either

But the more "fun" things you strip from it the less people are going to actively enjoy it and it will cease to hold widespread appeal, that seems pretty obvious

Yeah so they could just have toast, or porridge if we're cutting it back to essentials

Still a silly comparison. It's a dinner at a big social event, not a bit of breakfast. Surely you can see the difference between 'I need mind-altering substances in order to put me in a mental state where I can have fun at a social event' and 'I prefer to have nice and sufficient food at a social event'?

One thing I have noticed regarding excessive drinking becoming more normalised is how much alcohol, especially wine is prompted in series and films now. This isn’t just U.K./US series either, it’s the same on Spanish Netflix and definitely here in Spain it isn’t common place to go home and drink nearly a bottle of wine after work on a weekday, but this how people drink in almost every series now - home and pour wine before you even take your shoes off, then another three/four glasses over the evening, and no one is even slightly showing the effects of drinking that much. In some American series they’re drinking massive tumblers of whisky/brandy just randomly throughout the day 😂 In real life that would signify an alcohol problem, but the characters are all functioning and never pissed or groggy the next day, some of them even going for a 6am run lol. Alcohol in films and series seems to have taken the place of what smoking was 20/30 years ago.

*promoted, not prompted

I rarely drink and would love an alcohol free wedding. Just have fun sober never understood why people need to be oiled to have fun

How long are the weddings you're going to? Many people get married at 1ish and the party goes on til midnight. Most people (MN competitive undereaters aside) will need at least one meal in that 11 hour period.

I question your understanding of need. I'd prefer to eat in 12 hours and I'd prefer to have the option to drink