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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Luke Littler

213 replies

Derlei · 02/01/2024 08:39

Ignoring the fact that he looks nowhere near 16 years old(!) but if he is 16, then why are the DM romanticising his relationship with a 21 year old woman?

www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/othersports/article-12917331/Luke-Littlers-girlfriend-posts-message-latest-victory.html

OP posts:
FluffyFanny · 02/01/2024 10:40

Eloise is such a beautiful name too.

Onelifeonly · 02/01/2024 10:42

Nowadays 16 v 21 is seen as a huge age gap but that wasn't always the case and isn't necessarily correct in all cases. I know a relationship where the 20 year old was more like the 16 year old they dated and no one who knows them thought it was inappropriate. The 16 yo had less 'life experience' but the 20 yo was not a typical 20 year old. It sounds bad but it really isn't always.

I barely know anything about Luke, other than that he looks and speaks like someone several years older than 16. But being involved at such a high level in darts and mixing with adults so much has likely made him rather different from the average 16 year old.

One of my dd's friends is 2 school years younger than her and only recently turned 17 but she has come across as more mature than dd since the age of 8. Only recently can I see some signs of immaturity in her. Though in her case I think it is at least partly due to being brought up by a single mother whose English isn't great and who had mobility issues in recent years prior to an operation. She would be travelling all over, doing the shopping and arranging her mum's affairs as a 13 year old.

MartinsSpareCalculator · 02/01/2024 10:45

When I was 16 I met my husband who was 20. We were very well matched. I had experiences and maturity beyond my age so emotionally and mentally we were pretty balanced. There was no grooming or anything like that whatsoever. We just met, got on and liked each other before age even came up.
We've been together over 20 years, very happily.

So whilst I think generally the age gap can be a problem, it isn't always the case. It's very much dependent on the 2 individuals.

1stTimeMama · 02/01/2024 10:46

I thought the same when I saw the article and I wondered what she would see in him....but then realised I was 16 (nearly 17) when I started seeing a 21yr old man. We were together for about 4 years. No one ever said anything to me about him being so much older than me, though they may well have thought it. I would, however, be horrified if my now 14yr old daughter bought home bloke in his 20's in a couple of years! Hindsight and all that.

JazbayGrapes · 02/01/2024 10:49

'We define a child as anyone who has not yet reached their 18th birthday.

Legally - a minor. Practically - not a child in a sense that you expect the to believe in Santa and play with Legos.

No crime is being committed, so your judgement not needed.

IAcceptCookies · 02/01/2024 10:51

I couldn't care less about this. He's not a little boy, and she's still very young. This is not the huge, shocking chasm of age difference that some are making it out to be.
I had a 21 YO boyfriend when I was 16.

35965a · 02/01/2024 10:52

People in their 20s dating teenagers is disgusting. It doesn’t matter if the relationship ends up lasting years, it’s still wrong.

Also I notice people think it’s an age gap thing, it isn’t, it’s purely an age thing. 21 and 16 dating is disgusting, whereas 21 dating 26 is not the same even though the gap is also 5 years.

TallulahBetty · 02/01/2024 10:53

Gross. And what 21yo wants a 16yo anyway?!

5 years is nothing..... when both adults. At these ages, it's more of a canyon

inapickle2300 · 02/01/2024 10:54

It’s gross. I wonder if she picks him up from school. Helps with his homework.

EddieHowesShithousingMags · 02/01/2024 10:54

35965a · 02/01/2024 10:52

People in their 20s dating teenagers is disgusting. It doesn’t matter if the relationship ends up lasting years, it’s still wrong.

Also I notice people think it’s an age gap thing, it isn’t, it’s purely an age thing. 21 and 16 dating is disgusting, whereas 21 dating 26 is not the same even though the gap is also 5 years.

Bonkers. You realise you’re ruling out 20/21 and 18/19 year olds getting together right?

This place is insane at times.

EddieHowesShithousingMags · 02/01/2024 10:55

inapickle2300 · 02/01/2024 10:54

It’s gross. I wonder if she picks him up from school. Helps with his homework.

Well no. Because he doesn’t go to school 🙄

Onelifeonly · 02/01/2024 10:55

Age limits need to be defined for legal purposes - yes 18 plus are treated as adults by medical services (as an example) so parents of a 17, almost 18 yo are automatically expected to be involved. A few days, weeks, months later, when they are 18, this isn't the case unless the 18 yo wants it to be. Doesn't mean the 18 year old is suddenly totally grown up or conversely that 17 year olds aren't capable of dealing with medical services by themselves either.

At work we have a 26 year old who could pass as a teen some times in terms of their levels of responsibility and maturity. Then another 20 something who has the manner and capability of the average 30 plus adult.

People are individuals - whatever their age. Snap judgements based simply on their date of birth should not be made.

x2boys · 02/01/2024 10:56

JazbayGrapes · 02/01/2024 10:49

'We define a child as anyone who has not yet reached their 18th birthday.

Legally - a minor. Practically - not a child in a sense that you expect the to believe in Santa and play with Legos.

No crime is being committed, so your judgement not needed.

Well, a 12/13 year old probably wouldn't believe in Santa or be playing with Lego either
16/17 is a funny age no they ate not a child but neither are they an adu!t and the law recognizes that
Just because something is legal doesn't necessarily mean its ok .

JazbayGrapes · 02/01/2024 10:57

People in their 20s dating teenagers is disgusting. It doesn’t matter if the relationship ends up lasting years, it’s still wrong.

Infantilisation of young adults these days is ludicrous.

Lovelyjubbbly · 02/01/2024 10:57

@x2boys is 18 not a teenager still? There happy so what’s the big deal. Far to many have opinions in other peoples life’s when it’s nothing to do with YOU! I’m very sure if anything was the case his family would be involved to help resolve keep your big noses out of other peoples relationships sad lives

35965a · 02/01/2024 10:57

EddieHowesShithousingMags · 02/01/2024 10:54

Bonkers. You realise you’re ruling out 20/21 and 18/19 year olds getting together right?

This place is insane at times.

Oh come on I mean minor teenagers and not adults. Fine I’ll make it more obvious. Teenagers under the age of 18.

Onelifeonly · 02/01/2024 10:57

35965a · 02/01/2024 10:52

People in their 20s dating teenagers is disgusting. It doesn’t matter if the relationship ends up lasting years, it’s still wrong.

Also I notice people think it’s an age gap thing, it isn’t, it’s purely an age thing. 21 and 16 dating is disgusting, whereas 21 dating 26 is not the same even though the gap is also 5 years.

This is just a prevailing opinion on MN and maybe wider social media. Have you tried thinking outside the box and not being so unilaterally judgemental?

35965a · 02/01/2024 10:58

JazbayGrapes · 02/01/2024 10:57

People in their 20s dating teenagers is disgusting. It doesn’t matter if the relationship ends up lasting years, it’s still wrong.

Infantilisation of young adults these days is ludicrous.

16 isn’t an adult

Agustus · 02/01/2024 10:59

35965a · 02/01/2024 10:58

16 isn’t an adult

16 is most certainly a young adult.

FancyJapflack · 02/01/2024 10:59

As Mrs Merton would say - I wonder what a beautiful 21 year old sees in an overweight, plain, unhealthy looking 16 year
old millionaire?

x2boys · 02/01/2024 11:00

Lovelyjubbbly · 02/01/2024 10:57

@x2boys is 18 not a teenager still? There happy so what’s the big deal. Far to many have opinions in other peoples life’s when it’s nothing to do with YOU! I’m very sure if anything was the case his family would be involved to help resolve keep your big noses out of other peoples relationships sad lives

Its legally an adult
Yes I realise that there is no arbitrary age when a person matures
But 16--18 is a very transitional age .

BIossomtoes · 02/01/2024 11:02

MorrisZapp · 02/01/2024 10:25

It's embarrassing. 16 year olds aren't children, ffs I was in a ltr at that age, working and paying for all my own stuff. Left home at 18, never moved back.

Same. I was married six weeks before my 19th birthday to someone four years older than me.

EddieHowesShithousingMags · 02/01/2024 11:03

Onelifeonly · 02/01/2024 10:55

Age limits need to be defined for legal purposes - yes 18 plus are treated as adults by medical services (as an example) so parents of a 17, almost 18 yo are automatically expected to be involved. A few days, weeks, months later, when they are 18, this isn't the case unless the 18 yo wants it to be. Doesn't mean the 18 year old is suddenly totally grown up or conversely that 17 year olds aren't capable of dealing with medical services by themselves either.

At work we have a 26 year old who could pass as a teen some times in terms of their levels of responsibility and maturity. Then another 20 something who has the manner and capability of the average 30 plus adult.

People are individuals - whatever their age. Snap judgements based simply on their date of birth should not be made.

Re medical decisions, anyone over the age of 16 will be assumed to have agency over their own medical decisions. Even those below 16 will be able to consent to medical intervention if deemed to be Gillick/Fraser competent.

Which is a heck of a tangent. And ultimately I agree that at that age you should be treated as an individual. Particularly as stated many times before he is days away from being 17.

IAcceptCookies · 02/01/2024 11:03

FancyJapflack · 02/01/2024 10:59

As Mrs Merton would say - I wonder what a beautiful 21 year old sees in an overweight, plain, unhealthy looking 16 year
old millionaire?

What a horrible - and not even remotely original, even on this thread - thing to post.

Writing such things about the appearance of a young person is truly nasty.

inapickle2300 · 02/01/2024 11:05

EddieHowesShithousingMags · 02/01/2024 10:55

Well no. Because he doesn’t go to school 🙄

Semantics. He’s still in education, still gets homework. Ok….I wonder if she picks him up from college 😂