To think my mother can be a bit rude sometimes?

[Dorisnightingale]

And if so, should I mention something? She's in her mid 50s and is a great parent to me, I am fortunate. However I realised she has some habits that could come across as quite rude.. nobody is perfect, I am certainly not, but I don't know if I'm overreacting or not.
For instance if we go out to eat as a family or whatever she will always order for herself first, and if hers comes first she will start eating immediately even if others' meals haven't arrived.
Of course if the other meals are taking a while then you shouldn't be expected to let your food go cold, but I mean instantly eating it when it arrives.
I went for dinner once with my ex partner and my parents. My Mum only has a smallish appetite and usually offers her food to others. She would be offering things to me but never to my ex, I started gesturing for her to offer him something too and she got the hint, but it felt awkward at first that she didn't offer him anything.
Or another thing is that she'll make comments loudly. For instance we were in a taxi and loudly said 'This driver's taking us the long way, we should've been here by now.'
Indeed some drivers do that and it's frustrating, but maybe it's better to say something to them rather than making loud comments they'll hear.
They live in a very small but very nice well-to-do town, recently there were 2 female beggars on the street there and as we walked through my Mum loudly exclaimed how she didn't expect to see them here of all places.
Lastly she will often cut people off when they're speaking, interrupt them sort of thing. She did it with my ex sometimes and I wanted the ground to swallow me up.
I know nobody's perfect and maybe it sounds like I'm being intolerant?
I know my ex wasn't that keen on her which hurt on one hand but to some extent I could see why.. I admit I'm worried about introducing any future partners. Not sure if I'm just being overly critical?

I think the pp who described you as a people please @Dorisnightingale has hit the nail on the head. WHY are you so concerned about how other people perceive your mother? You seem hyper alert to her behaviour possibly causing offence.

There's an assumption here that there's only one way to behave in a given situation. Eating food as soon as it's served for eg is fine if it's likely to go cold waiting for others. People's personalities and customs vary widely and sometimes you just have to suck it up, especially when it's your mother!

I love the "certain generation" comment. Are you for real @NoelJo or do you spring from a better generation?

My mum is a little prone to the same thing.

She's particularly keen on making comments on other people's bodies. Things like "Oh! Did you see that lady's fat legs?! She should not be wearing shorts like that!!"
Nowadays I either say nothing, or something like "It's not polite to comment on other people's bodies."

That is grossly judgemental, misogynistic and unacceptable. I think it's different to voicing a concern about a taxi driver going the wrong way.

You’re projecting here. OP said her mum eats her own food in a restaurant, why are you turning this into her eating first elsewhere, eating with her mouth open, helping herself first to everything, not listening to people?

Ah accusations of dementia gets thrown around younger and younger now! Yeah it's a bit rude but ffs come on now.

It was a comment on how some people can lack basic manners, but doesn't necessarily mean they're consciously rude, or unlikeable.

I don't think that the examples you've given are particularly bad. 🤷‍♀️

@oneflewoverthe
MN is mainly a site used by women. MN should be running a campaign to look at the research into dementia in women and ways to prevent this terrible illness. It is a disease that targets older women.
'Women have a greater risk of developing dementia during their lifetime. In fact, around twice as many women have Alzheimer's disease – the most common type of dementia – compared to men.'

8 Mar 2023 Alzheimer's Society

@Summonedbybees yes but isn't that due to women living longer than men? Not getting it younger.

I'm nowhere near 50s as wouldn't class it as old!

You’re being picky because you’re mentally differentiating yourself from her. I suspect it’s an evolutionary thing designed to get adult children to establish themselves away from their parents.

@oneflewoverthe
Yes, the fact that women live longer is a factor but only one factor. other factors are the preventive effects of education and the workplace. If is is caused by genetics, women are more likely to be affected.
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/blog/why-dementia-different-women#:~:text=Yes.,of%20dementia%20%E2%80%93%20compared%20to%20men.

Those wondering why the OP is a 'people pleaser' - surely if you start to notice that a parent's social behaviour results in raised eyebrows and/or silent disapproval it makes you hypervigilant about any divergence from what's 'normal'.