To cuddle my baby for all naps and not have a sleep schedule

[Cookiecrumblepie]

I have a 4 month old and am snuggling her for every nap. Co-sleeping and just letting her do her thing. She doesn’t have a set sleep schedule (just rough and whenever I can se me her getting tired) and I let her nap for as long as she likes on me. Her night sleep is fine, also snuggled near me. I feel this is against so much advice but I love it! AIBU?

I did this but it was during lockdown so nothing else to do

YANBU at all! I did exactly this with all four of my kids (though contact naps moved to slings for the later children!). They slept when they slept and I carried on as normal taking them with me. I still did baby groups and days out, though they sometimes slept through them!

My kids have always been great sleepers. They fall asleep within 30 mins of going to bed (I sit/sat with them until they're asleep until they didn't want or need that any more). They get plenty of rest. They sleep deeply so I can move them from car to bed/bed to car without them waking. They're good sleepers.

Do whatever works for you. Don't worry about what the future will hold - you'll deal with that when you get there!

At 4 months we had no 'routine'. My baby fed and slept as and when she needed to. A routine started to emerge when she was abit older so we followed that. It never stopped us going to baby groups or anything like that - we were out most days of the week!

You might regret it iin a few months time if you wake up and realise your house has slid into an absolute shit tip, you’ve forgotten what it feels like to cuddle your partner and youre about to return to work and the only thing that fits you is a pair of saggy tracksuit bottoms because you’ve been lying on the sofa for 6 months. 😂

Im half joking but don’t lose yourself!

Do what you like, you can always change your approach later if you start to feel differently. This doesn't matter at all to anyone except you and your baby.

Ds2 would only nap on me during the day. His night sleep was a hit or miss for a good while. He's almost 3 now and sleeps through the night 8.30pm to 7.30am and will occasionally nap for 30/45 mins though still likes a wee cuddle before then naps on the couch

I lie in their bed, not on the floor 👌

Nope just used the sling more for the second

What happens when she's too heavy to hold for any length of time but refuses to be put down and won't stop screaming because she's used to being held every nap?

I was an absolute dragon, scheduled naps on Moses basket and then for and a 7-7 routine with an 11pm dream feed. From about 7 weeks old. But..I can’t function without sleep. I say you’re not being unreasonable because you do you. No routine sounds like a nightmare to me but we are all different and I’m sure some people would be horrified by my draconian approach.

Dragon here too. 😂 Love a 7-7 routine.

Agree that different things work for different people.

I’m also a big believer in you parent the child your given. Mine was a Velcro limpet who woke hourly for the first two years of her life. 7-7 never would have worked on her!

Adults like to be in close proximity to another person to sleep, why do we expect different from children

Speak for yourself 😉

We'll see what happens this time. I'm having twins so feel like a good routine will be even more essential.

Plus with having 3 under 2, I don't see how contact napping would be possible even if I was a fan of it.

Hopefully it will work just as well this time.

Your parenting IS the norm, OP. Only very modern humans, and then only those in certain geographic locations, expect their children to sleep alone. What you're doing is completely normal from an evolutionary biology standpoint - all mammals sleep with their young.

You might like to join the Facebook group The Beyond Sleep Training project, where you will find thousands of like-minded families.

Our eldest son wouldn't sleep anywhere except on us for the first two years. I didn't even bother trying to put the younger one in a cot at first. They both STTN now (aged five and two), on their own in their own rooms. We still sit with the older one and listen to the Moshi sleep app as he falls asleep and rock the younger one in the chair.

You only have a sleep problem if you have a problem with your baby's sleep. If you're happy to (safely) co-sleep and have your baby nap on you then that's OK!

I don't sleep coach parents of babies under the age of 6 months because just getting them to sleep however possible is the most important thing. Then, when they are older (6 months +), they have a better ability to respond to gentle techniques to lay down good sleep habits. But nothing you do before they are 6 months old can't be undone when they are older, if you want things to change. Enjoy baby snuggles!

Do what you want, you don’t need to go on about it on the internet and seek validation from strangers. Do ensure you’re being rigid with safe sleeping guidelines tho

You are definitely not being unseasonable. I did this with both of mine and enjoyed every minute of it! They are young for such a short time, if you're enjoying it, embrace it all. Ignore the people saying if you don't get into a routine you can't go to classes etc. I actually found the opposite, mine would sleep around things where I found a lot of friends were restricted because their babies would have naps at certain times and only in their cot.

I did what you're doing and it worked great.

Never issues with baby groups as they were usually 10am ish or 2pm ish so I just ensured baby had a nap before if it was the 2pm time even if it meant driving somewhere/ around to help baby fall asleep.

So many of my friends were restricted by 'nap times' or 'nap in cot only' but my baby could (and at primary school age still can) fall asleep anywhere, car/ pram/ my arms- now it's car/ coach/ plane.

By about 18 months / 2 years there was a natural nap time of 1 or 2pm. Again this might be out in the pushchair/ car.

Oh and I used to hold for some naps too 💞 lovely memories.

Keep doing what works for you x