Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does anyone else's DH have to be prompted to get dressed?!

82 replies

tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 14:44

Weird thread title I know. Just wondering how common this is...

When we are home and not going anywhere, for some reason DH likes to walk around semi naked. So, for example, on waking in the morning, he will often come downstairs in just a pair of boxers. He'd stay like that most of the day if I didn't say "are you not going to put some clothes on?" Like, what if someone knocked on the door?

Also, he then has the audacity to sit there on the sofa in just boxers, complaining that he's cold?!

Today, he slept 6.30am-12pm (after a night shift at work), got up at lunch time and stayed in his boxers downstairs whilst eating his lunch. I had to say, "are you not getting dressed?"

AIBU? Is this the norm? Why does it grate on me so much?!

OP posts:
JadziaD · 31/12/2023 14:46

I think it's weird that you're policing what he wears in his own home. I mean sure, if you have preferences on people wearing shirts for food, fair enough - that's pretty common. But I couldn't get worked up about DH chilling out on the sofa in whatever he likes.

And if someone comes to the door, he either pulls some clothes on or zips upstairs while I open the door.

In our house, one of us is often wandering around wearing pyjamas or similar on a quiet day in. Neither of us would dream of asking the other one to get dressed.

Original poster
tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 14:48

Well I'm hardly "policing" what he wears. It's just a question, "are you not getting dressed today?"

It's not that deep seriously.

OP posts:
margotrose · 31/12/2023 14:48

Why can't he walk around in his boxers if he wants? Confused

Original poster
tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 14:49

also, I have a teenage daughter (his step daughter), who possibly doesn't want to see her step father in his boxers. So there's that.

OP posts:
unlikelychump · 31/12/2023 14:51

Yes I would be quite ??? If my DH walked around in his pants half the day. An early morning trip to get a cuppa etc fine, but otherwise I'd expect some clothes, even if only shorts in the summer.

I wouldn't accept my pre teen daughters sitting around in pants either , if that was their thing.

Original poster
tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 14:51

margotrose · 31/12/2023 14:48

Why can't he walk around in his boxers if he wants? Confused

He can. And he does. I'm asking how common it is 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
SutWytTi · 31/12/2023 14:56

tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 14:49

also, I have a teenage daughter (his step daughter), who possibly doesn't want to see her step father in his boxers. So there's that.

This is a huge drip feed.

I had assumed it was just you and him, so was going to say it is fine.

But in this situation, I don't understand why it is happening at all - have you never talked about this with him?

Original poster
tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 14:59

It's not a drip feed ffs. It's relevant information. Wow people are tetchy today 😂

OP posts:
Scalottia · 31/12/2023 15:02

tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 14:59

It's not a drip feed ffs. It's relevant information. Wow people are tetchy today 😂

It is a drip feed. The thread wasn't going your way at the start, so you threw this info in to sway people's opinion. That's a drip feed, OP.

MiIIieee · 31/12/2023 15:05

I dont see an issue with it if that's how he's comfy.

Original poster
tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 15:06

Yeah ok then 😂

Doesn't make it less true 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Ohnotyoutoo · 31/12/2023 15:07

YANBU, OP. Have some decorum and put some bloody clothes on.

Crikeyisthatthetime · 31/12/2023 15:09

Wow a whole 5 minutes for the "drip feed". After a grand total of, hold on while I count them, TWO posters who disagree with you.
Shame on you OP 😁

SutWytTi · 31/12/2023 15:10

tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 14:59

It's not a drip feed ffs. It's relevant information. Wow people are tetchy today 😂

It absolutely is a drip feed.

RedHelenB · 31/12/2023 15:12

tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 14:49

also, I have a teenage daughter (his step daughter), who possibly doesn't want to see her step father in his boxers. So there's that.

Thrn that conversation should have been had when you first moved in together, its a bit late now

MrsElsa · 31/12/2023 15:12

tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 14:49

also, I have a teenage daughter (his step daughter), who possibly doesn't want to see her step father in his boxers. So there's that.

Massive drip feed!

This is borderline abusive, it's so inappropriate. No man in his right mind would do this. Your poor DD. You moved some random man in and are putting his disgusting behaviour above her being safe in her own home, get a grip ffs.

MiIIieee · 31/12/2023 15:13

Yeah that's a bit weird if it's not just the both of you living there.

Foodie000 · 31/12/2023 15:14

tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 15:06

Yeah ok then 😂

Doesn't make it less true 🤷‍♀️

Nah I’m with you. Could at least put a top and tracksuit bottoms on with a teenager in the house.

It would annoy me too.

TypicalCoach · 31/12/2023 15:14

tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 14:49

also, I have a teenage daughter (his step daughter), who possibly doesn't want to see her step father in his boxers. So there's that.

That should have been in the second sentence, disgusting and incredibly uncomfortable for your daughter.

onestepfromgrace · 31/12/2023 15:16

Well generally it depends how clean the boxers are, otherwise he can wear what he wants, I would hope he may slip a pair of shorts on if he was going to the door but he can open the door in his boxers if he wants too.

But no teenagers in this house, and that changes things, if it had of been me as a teenager I would have said put some clothes so I don't have to look at you. I did have a father in law who used to do this when he came to stay and told him to cover up too.

So it's normal for me or my DP to not get dressed straight way but we're usually wearing Pjs or Dgown, not just underwear and have answered the door in both.

Original poster
tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 15:17

@MrsElsa ok calm down 😂 he's not "some random man", she's known him since she was 8 years old. But yes, I agree, it's not appropriate. Hence why it bothers me.

OP posts:
VioletladyGrantham · 31/12/2023 15:18

Is it a generational thing? I'm nearly 50, and l am always saying the same thing to my dh who is 5 years younger than me.
When l was a child l never saw my parents in their nightclothes unless it was because we'd crossed paths on the landing early in the morning.

WashItTomorrow · 31/12/2023 15:19

Hanging around in just boxers isn’t appropriate. If it was PJs, I wouldn’t have a problem with that.

topgirlalways · 31/12/2023 15:21

My DP wanders about at home in shorts and a t shirt. But they are old running shorts and very short.

but that’s a shower where he likes to air dry and will walk about in a towel for hours!!

Original poster
tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 15:21

VioletladyGrantham · 31/12/2023 15:18

Is it a generational thing? I'm nearly 50, and l am always saying the same thing to my dh who is 5 years younger than me.
When l was a child l never saw my parents in their nightclothes unless it was because we'd crossed paths on the landing early in the morning.

Not sure. He's 40.

OP posts: