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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does anyone else's DH have to be prompted to get dressed?!

82 replies

tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 14:44

Weird thread title I know. Just wondering how common this is...

When we are home and not going anywhere, for some reason DH likes to walk around semi naked. So, for example, on waking in the morning, he will often come downstairs in just a pair of boxers. He'd stay like that most of the day if I didn't say "are you not going to put some clothes on?" Like, what if someone knocked on the door?

Also, he then has the audacity to sit there on the sofa in just boxers, complaining that he's cold?!

Today, he slept 6.30am-12pm (after a night shift at work), got up at lunch time and stayed in his boxers downstairs whilst eating his lunch. I had to say, "are you not getting dressed?"

AIBU? Is this the norm? Why does it grate on me so much?!

OP posts:
anarchicparadise · 31/12/2023 17:04

YANBU OP.

id find it weird. I wouldn’t walk about in my bra and knickers.

I had a boyfriend in my teens and his dad used to kick about the house in just his y fronts and I found it very very strange (and I didn’t know where to look)

Original poster
tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 17:09

TomatoSandwiches · 31/12/2023 16:37

It isn't appropriate especially with a teenaged step daughter in the house and it doesn't make sense that he does it because he prefers it if he complains about being cold.

Why is he doing it?

I have no idea why.

OP posts:
Original poster
tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 17:10

Spirallingdownwards · 31/12/2023 16:33

If he has known her since she was 8 presumably she has experienced this since she was young and sees it as his norm.

I am lying here on the sofa in my nighty still. Its more comfortable and saves on washing my clothes. Maybe he feels more comfortable. If he has always done it why is it an issue for you now? It is likely to be one of those things that's cute/endearing in the beginning of a relationship but irritates later when there is the start of relationship issues

I think nightwear is fine. But this is his underwear.

OP posts:
Loafbeginsat60 · 31/12/2023 17:11

I wouldn't like this at all. Nope! Get dressed or put on comfy clothes like ok bottoms or t shirt while he eats breakfast.
🤢

Original poster
tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 17:12

Teen daughter has never mentioned it. It's me who finds it odd. I have no idea what her view is.

OP posts:
ExtraOnions · 31/12/2023 17:13

This a good time to let you all know I’m still in my PJs?
Off for a shower / get dressed shortly, as going to family for NYE

sprigatito · 31/12/2023 17:13

I couldn't get excited about it, unless your daughter has expressed discomfort. He's wearing boxers, she'd see more on a beach or swimming pool. My 19yo wanders around in his boxers and nobody gives a monkeys.

Original poster
tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 17:18

ExtraOnions · 31/12/2023 17:13

This a good time to let you all know I’m still in my PJs?
Off for a shower / get dressed shortly, as going to family for NYE

I don't care about PJs 🤷‍♀️

Why are people going on about PJs, I've never mentioned them?

The man is wearing his UNDERWEAR around the house - that's what I have an issue with.

OP posts:
Spacecowboys · 31/12/2023 17:24

Dp gets dressed as soon as he gets up. Our two teenage boys wander around the house in just boxers all the time, which seems to be pretty normal for that age group.

Original poster
tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 17:41

@Spacecowboys
Yeah I think that's why I get the ick a little when he does it as a 40 year old grown man. It feels like living with a teenage boy 😂

OP posts:
SeattleSpacePlane · 31/12/2023 17:52

I have a dh and one out of three ds's like this 🙋‍♀️

In the morning dh will happily wander downstairs in his boxers and stay like that for some time.

If we go out, he often strips off as soon as we're in if we're then staying home for the day. It's like watching superman in a phonebox...we walk in laden with shopping bags, him wearing jeans and a jumper. I turn around for ten seconds to put milk in the fridge, turn back and he's in his pants.

I don't know why. He says it's comfier but too early for PJs. He doesn't moan about being cold though.

He also has no issue in getting quickly dressed. He'll sling his top and trousers over the bannister or a door and if needed he whips them back on again in seconds.

Ds1 is much the same. Will wander around in boxers all day but scarpers for his room if anyone knocks the door.

Ds2 and 3 are totally different, will get dressed in the morning and stay dressed all day.

Original poster
tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 17:59

@SeattleSpacePlane

😂your description made me laugh. Fortunately mine isn't quite that bad, once he's dressed for the day he stays that way. But mornings, he's a nightmare. He'd literally stay in just his boxers til the moment we walk out the door to go somewhere, he'd eat all his meals like that too. I just don't get it, I can't imagine wandering around the place in my knickers and bra all day 🥴

OP posts:
watcherintherye · 31/12/2023 18:02

One person’s drip feed is another person’s afterthought. Her dd’s reaction to the stepfather’s skimpy clothing wasn’t the subject of the op’’s original post. Everyone’s entitled to say “oh, yes, and another thing….” without it being called a drip feed.

Original poster
tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 18:09

watcherintherye · 31/12/2023 18:02

One person’s drip feed is another person’s afterthought. Her dd’s reaction to the stepfather’s skimpy clothing wasn’t the subject of the op’’s original post. Everyone’s entitled to say “oh, yes, and another thing….” without it being called a drip feed.

THANK YOU! This is what I was (poorly) trying to express earlier!

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 31/12/2023 18:21

tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 14:59

It's not a drip feed ffs. It's relevant information. Wow people are tetchy today 😂

That's the point. It's highly relevant and you'd have got different replies if you'd put it at the start.

Tell him he's making your daughter uncomfortable and it isn't appropriate. Surely he doesn't want her looking at him half named and risking her seeing his penis? She had a right to be able to relax in her home without seeing your partner half named in the sofa.

AyrshireTryer · 31/12/2023 18:22

Is he pleasant to look at in his boxers?

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 31/12/2023 18:23

tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 14:59

It's not a drip feed ffs. It's relevant information. Wow people are tetchy today 😂

Exactly a drip feed is when you add something important after the first post. It isn't about whether it is true or not, although it does smack of adding information to sway opinion.

Why wouldn't you include this in your opening post?

SleepingStandingUp · 31/12/2023 18:24

tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 15:17

@MrsElsa ok calm down 😂 he's not "some random man", she's known him since she was 8 years old. But yes, I agree, it's not appropriate. Hence why it bothers me.

So she's been exposed to him walking around virtually naked since she was 8 and you've not had the talk with him/ he doesn't care / he likes it?

Evaka · 31/12/2023 18:26

My partner would stay bollock naked all the live long day, but there aren't any kids in our home. I'd never tolerate him mooching around in his jocks if a child were staying/living with us, nor would he dream of doing it. Bit of a flag OP :(

Original poster
tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 18:37

Tell him he's making your daughter uncomfortable and it isn't appropriate.

I haven't said she's uncomfortable? I've said a few times she's never commented on it so I don't know what her views are.

OP posts:
Original poster
tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 18:38

@SleepingStandingUp

I didn't say we'd lived together since she was 8. I said my daughter has known him since that age, hence he's not "a random man" as someone suggested.

OP posts:
MaryHinges · 31/12/2023 18:51

Maybe he just you know, feels comfortable that way?

itsalwaysthesame · 31/12/2023 20:12

My husband does this although wears pj's but it annoys the hell out of me, I can't really pinpoint why exactly but it does wind me up. I do think it's a bit lazy too. I've 2 girls ones 11 and she'd be embarrassed if her dad was just in his boxers.

Lastexmouse · 31/12/2023 20:17

No, usually up and dressed before me.

You must have a warm house for him to walk around in boxers. Too cold Here!

Goodlard · 31/12/2023 20:39

tiredmama23 · 31/12/2023 14:49

also, I have a teenage daughter (his step daughter), who possibly doesn't want to see her step father in his boxers. So there's that.

That's drip!

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