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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why she didn’t just post in the group WhatsApp

65 replies

Cantkeepupwiththeterminology · 30/12/2023 10:22

Mum friend…a small group of us, meet with our kids, have nights out etc. We have a group WhatsApp we all communicate through, set up play dates, lunches, nights out and so on. A couple of weeks ago, one of the mums messaged me one to one (not on the group) inviting me to her party at New year. The group have met up before then and no one has mentioned it. I
messaged my closest friend from the group to ask casually if she was going, she is. Does anyone else find this a bit odd or am I overthinking 😂

OP posts:
ManateeFair · 30/12/2023 10:22

You’re overthinking

chocolateaupain · 30/12/2023 10:23

There might be one or more people in the group who she doesn't want to invite?

Sodndashitall · 30/12/2023 10:23

Maybe she only invited a few from the group?

Original poster
Cantkeepupwiththeterminology · 30/12/2023 10:23

*Have met up since then

OP posts:
olympicsrock · 30/12/2023 10:23

Maybe not all the group are invited

ImFloatingInAMostPeculiarWay · 30/12/2023 10:24

Maybe not all the people in the group are invited

Maybe it's easier to track individual invites

Moreorlessmentallystable · 30/12/2023 10:24

Really? You can't figure this one out? 😂

Original poster
Cantkeepupwiththeterminology · 30/12/2023 10:25

I think all the group *Are invited, just seems weird no one mentioned to each other and wasn’t on the group chat

OP posts:
chocolateaupain · 30/12/2023 10:26

Cantkeepupwiththeterminology · 30/12/2023 10:25

I think all the group *Are invited, just seems weird no one mentioned to each other and wasn’t on the group chat

You think or you know?

The only reason I'd do it this way is if I wasn't inviting one or more people in the group chat.

SoupDragon · 30/12/2023 10:28

I'd guess that at least one person in the group isn't invited.

Original poster
Cantkeepupwiththeterminology · 30/12/2023 10:28

@Moreorlessmentallystable Thats what I thought but I think everyone was invited

OP posts:
Original poster
Cantkeepupwiththeterminology · 30/12/2023 10:30

@chocolateaupain At our last meet up, when this host friend was going around saying bye to everyone and happy Christmas etc, I saw her asking them and she asked me too, just seems weird

OP posts:
Changingplace · 30/12/2023 10:30

If everyone is invited it’s a bit odd not to have mentioned it in the group chat, if someone isn’t then it’s mean of her not to have invited them and they’ll be upset when they find out :(

Catza · 30/12/2023 10:32

What's the problem though? Everyone is invited and the mum invited them all with a personal message. Since when sending a personal message is considered sinister?

crackfoxy · 30/12/2023 10:38

Maybe she didn't want to put people on the spot to answer on a group chat

chocolateaupain · 30/12/2023 10:38

crackfoxy · 30/12/2023 10:38

Maybe she didn't want to put people on the spot to answer on a group chat

Good point

pillof · 30/12/2023 10:39

Maybe she would really like to see you all there and is socially savvy enough to know that asking people individually is more likely to get them to commit and actually turn up.

Ariela · 30/12/2023 10:41

Maybe also she wanted individual replies so she knew the numbers/borrowed enough chairs etc

Heyhoherewegoagain · 30/12/2023 10:41

crackfoxy · 30/12/2023 10:38

Maybe she didn't want to put people on the spot to answer on a group chat

I’d think it was this too-love a group chat generally, but they can be a bit of a nightmare for stuff like this

SwedishEdith · 30/12/2023 10:42

Someone might have a complicated reason for not being able to go and they don't want to broadcast it so she's tracking replies separately.

SwedishEdith · 30/12/2023 10:44

pillof · 30/12/2023 10:39

Maybe she would really like to see you all there and is socially savvy enough to know that asking people individually is more likely to get them to commit and actually turn up.

That as well. Once you get one "Oh, I'm not sure I can make it" you get others peeling away when they read that.

GnomeDePlume · 30/12/2023 10:45

She wanted to make sure you were all invited individually rather than a group invitation where you feel you have to go as a group or not at all.

KrisAkabusi · 30/12/2023 10:47

Cantkeepupwiththeterminology · 30/12/2023 10:30

@chocolateaupain At our last meet up, when this host friend was going around saying bye to everyone and happy Christmas etc, I saw her asking them and she asked me too, just seems weird

No, it really doesn't seem weird. You're really overthinking this.

LaurieStrode · 30/12/2023 10:49

Maybe she's just politely inviting people 1:1 instead of taking the laziest approach.

TrolleyCase · 30/12/2023 10:49

Why on earth does it matter anyway? Why on earth post this on here? Some people baffle me with their threads!

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