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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why she didn’t just post in the group WhatsApp

65 replies

Cantkeepupwiththeterminology · 30/12/2023 10:22

Mum friend…a small group of us, meet with our kids, have nights out etc. We have a group WhatsApp we all communicate through, set up play dates, lunches, nights out and so on. A couple of weeks ago, one of the mums messaged me one to one (not on the group) inviting me to her party at New year. The group have met up before then and no one has mentioned it. I
messaged my closest friend from the group to ask casually if she was going, she is. Does anyone else find this a bit odd or am I overthinking 😂

OP posts:

Eekmystro · 30/12/2023 11:32

Maybe she was worried everyone would say no and the group chat would be a long line of rejections? 😂 I don’t always like inviting people in groups as it does feel shit of everyone says no. Or maybe toot was just completely random.

HappyMavis · 30/12/2023 11:32

I genuinely wish I had this much free time to even be considering stuff like this, let alone creating a thread about it 😂

Eekmystro · 30/12/2023 11:33

Or maybe she made an invites list including your group and others and worked her way through messaging people and didn’t think to use the group chat for you guys .

MolkosTeenageAngst · 30/12/2023 11:36

It’s more personal to invite people individually, I think it’s nice that she didn’t just put it on the group. Maybe she was worried if she put it on the group people would be swayed by who else agreed to go, or maybe she just felt for NYE it would be better to ask people personally.

I expect nobody has mentioned it on the group because they are all a bit unsure as to whether everyone was invited and don’t want to make it awkward, even though it sounds like that’s not actually the case here.

Mushroomsouptonight · 30/12/2023 11:39

Maybe she wanted to make it more personal and find out how would be coming for food and drink numbers?

StockpotSoup · 30/12/2023 11:55

Also, posts easily get lost in group chats if there’s a lot going on. People are more likely to read a message sent specifically to them.

Thegoodbadandugly · 30/12/2023 11:56

I think you are reading way to much into a simple question.

Cmonluv · 30/12/2023 11:58

She'll have sent aessahe to lots of individuals and just included your group folks as part of that

Tilllly · 30/12/2023 12:05

Lauren83 · 30/12/2023 11:12

@Tilllly I kept thinking (hoping) people would pull out but no one did, it was fine just chaos as the kids were all age 5/6!

You putting next years invite on MN?

PuppyMonkey · 30/12/2023 12:07

It’s easy to miss replies and/or get confused about who’s replying to what on a big group chat. Plus there’s always one who misses the message. Not to mention the annoying pings to all in the group for every single reply. Individual text messages much more civilised.

DesignerStars · 30/12/2023 12:15

To be honest, I do this. Sometimes I just feel out or 2 people before putting it in the group chat.

Catza · 30/12/2023 12:21

Cantkeepupwiththeterminology · 30/12/2023 10:50

@Catza Its not a problem or sinister, I’m just curious

So aks her. We are not going to know what she is thinking better than she is, are we?

TwoCoffeesPlease · 30/12/2023 12:36

Could it be a thing where she is worried about being rejected? So for example, if she posted on the group chat and everyone said “no, sorry, can’t make it” she would feel embarrassed but if you do it individually then it’s not so public of a rejection.

Or she wanted to make sure her preferred people from the group were going to attend before inviting others. I have been invited privately to things that have then gone out to a group before - the host wants to make sure the “wrong” combination of people won’t be there

Cleanbedsheets · 30/12/2023 12:55

I find it much stranger that you've posted about it

SandyWaves · 30/12/2023 13:37

squashi · 30/12/2023 10:57

She may have wanted to make the invites more personal. I also think people are more likely to reply to 1:1 messages - in group chats people wait to see what other people's responses will be.

Exactly this.

Much better to send individual invites so people don't wait and see who else responds before they commit or not.

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