To ask for guidance about old dog and our life

[Mimbuss]

We love our old girl dearly. We ate in our 60 s and my dh jas ongoing arthritis. Considering hip replacement.
our old girl is 15 and she used to come everywhere with us . We have a camper van . We domt use it now and havent been able to for 2 years as she now wees in the night ( she manages with pads at home but in a small van not so - we wsnr get sleep
for the last three years she hates travelling even to local town ten mins away .
she walks to the local pub occasionally but does nor cope or settle when there.
she has three / 4 walks a day . She sleeps nexr to me while i am in and when i am out she is often searching for me or sleeps.
she seems happy whilst awake -
small amount of time in the day.

she needs grooming but now does not understand that we are helping her so tries to bite us when we do it .
the vet says she coulld be tranqlised for this but at15 this affects her massively and she takes days to recover and wobbles.
the vet came to the house amd put km a small muzzle as alternative but she fought panted
and tho she is a mess( we cut bits off - ahe is non shedder) whilst she is asleep . But we cant do her eye area and its a mess.

she is a very gentle breed. People not dog oriented at all.
she has never been in kennels or had a dog sitter .

the thing is my dh arthritis is increasing ( he now struggles om local walks above a cple of miles.
ww want to lok after our old girl but also ourselves. We managed to go away for 4 nights this year aa our dd took leave so we could go away. She said by day 3 our dog was lay by the door waiting for me amd we felt awfiul .

I feel trapped between wanting a holiday Ans asking dd to come again or not having one and just look after her . My fear is that she may die when we are away as this actually happened to my childhood dog and the guilt would impact on us hugelu.

the only thing i can think of is separate holidays
… dd cant come often due to work and also she lives a days drive away
Ww live rurally and we have no relatives nearby and the dog sitter is lovely but due to our dogs missi
ng us ww are conflicted
we do not have longevity in our families and being in our 60 s we are aware our parents passed in 70s and we are aware pf not doing anything now for 3 years isjh

It would help to talk this through as i feel mentally that i cant make my mind up re this. I sometimes oh its only a week but then we panic thinking if we go would we spend the time worried!

we did think of maybe a cple of nighs locally but we are crave the sun

To be honest at that age and with what you describe I don’t see that she would live for years. You will probably be lucky to get one, or maybe two more. That’s nothing when it comes to not going on holidays. It’s just a few years max, if that, and then you can take the camper here, there and everywhere and go on holidays whenever you want.

We haven't been away together for years. Had old cats on a lot of medication and now have a young cat on a lot. It's too big an ask to get someone to come in esp as at some point a decision will have to be made. Also we spot early signs of a flare up which means additional medication. Someone else popping in wouldn't spot these.
It is what it is though, we're just glad we have a fantastic vet who listens and trusts us and we are able to let him live longer

what an awful situation for you. You sound like such caring owners.

We had up until recently, 3 elderly dogs. Two have now left and one remains. Although he walks it’s just a sniffy walk which he enjoys. He is also starting to become senile and so the vet prescribed him diazepam for nights when he won’t settle (he would sometimes bark for no reason but not all the time). This has helped.

Kindly, you need to accept that whatever course of action you take with him will have side affects. There isn’t a magic solution now at his age. Everything has a risk.

It doesn’t sounds as though PTS is necessary although those online quality of life questionnaires are a load of rubbish as my two would have passed even though the had health issues and absolutely pts was the right thing for them. We don’t believe in keeping a dog alive for longer than is necessary and our vets were so great at guiding us.

You need to have your hard hats on and decide how you are going to deal with handling and grooming going forward and if that means a few days of disorientation then so be it. It’s what’s best for him in the long term.

As for holidays, you sound a little stuck there and maybe holidays are off the cards for a while unless you can get over the guilt of leaving him. Personally, I’d find a house sitter and again, hard hat, don’t give him a thought. He’ll be cared for and safe. It was unfair of your daughter to tell you that the dog was pining for you so maybe find a different sitter?

OP and her dh are already in their 60s. My df had a very few years of retirement before a massive stroke ended his ability to go on holidays entirely. A few years to a 60 something can mean a lot in terms of reduced mobility etc.

Showering will help get rid of the crust around the eyes. Try that. And you can shower at a bit of a distance so not get bitten.

@Yesididntdothat OP and her dh are already in their 60s. My df had a very few years of retirement before a massive stroke ended his ability to go on holidays entirely. A few years to a 60 something can mean a lot in terms of reduced mobility etc

Yes, I’m not ‘young’ myself, but most people are not falling apart so severely in their 60’s. I work and will do for many years, everyone I know works and have no intentions of stopping because they are in their 60’s. I’ve seen people who have had severe life altering strokes in their 20’s, unfortunately some children even have this. Yes, the chance increases with age obviously but most people in their 60’s are not hampered by strokes. Unless manual labour jobs, most people are quite able to work well into their 70’s these days, they are not falling apart and most ailments are able to be medically managed well and n comparison to years gone by. Yes, there will always be a person here and there but it’s not representative.