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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want alcohol in the house

55 replies

ihavebadteeth · 30/12/2023 01:06

I saw this thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4973136-being-told-what-to-order-from-takeaway
Initially,.I thought it unfair that the OP couldn't eat what she wanted. I then read that it was because her hosts were vegetarians.. which then made me think about myself.

DH and I don't drink alcohol (reason is both religious and personal preference). We wouldn't want alcohol being drunk in our home. If we had a guest who wanted to drink would it be unreasonable to say it wouldn't be OK?

For background, this is mine and DH's first he together. Prior to meeting DH, I lived with my parents and so if I caught up with friends it would have been outside at a restaurant etc. and so we haven't yet been in a situation where we might have friends over and someone might want alcohol

Being told what to order from takeaway.. | Mumsnet

friend invited me round for drinks and food, she said we could get indian takeaway..(context, her and her husband are veggies) she text me one hour be...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4973136-being-told-what-to-order-from-takeaway

OP posts:
comfyshoes2022 · 30/12/2023 12:38

Vegetus · 30/12/2023 06:03

Why though? It's still an ethical/moral issue.

Show quote history

This was my thinking, although I don’t feel super strongly about this and could be persuaded otherwise… 1) Having alcohol in the house is doing something “forbidden” according to some peoples’ religion. In other words, it not only contravenes their personal ethics / morals but is something that gets them in trouble in a cosmic sense. I’m not sure if that’s the case for the OP’s views but I can imagine how it would be for some people. 2) The thing that I thought was slightly questionable about that other post was saying that the friend had to purchase something that she didn’t want. That seems worse to me than saying “this is a vegetarian / alcohol-free / kosher house so please keep that in mind when deciding what to bring.”

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 30/12/2023 13:25

Hmmm... I always think it's good to make your guests comfortable. In the same way that I'd offer nonalcoholic drinks and vegetarian food to suit my guests preferences, I'd appreciate the same from my host.

Menomeno · 30/12/2023 13:28

I think it’s fair enough. We have a number of recovering alcoholics in our family. I’d never dream of taking alcohol to their homes, indeed I hide the alcohol when they come to my house and wouldn’t drink in front of them. Your home, your rules.

PrueRamsay · 30/12/2023 13:30

I think it’s totally acceptable to not have alcohol in your home.

Anyone who would refuse an invitation because they couldn’t have alcohol for one night probably needs to take a hard look at themselves.

Tonight1 · 30/12/2023 16:12

Menomeno · 30/12/2023 13:28

I think it’s fair enough. We have a number of recovering alcoholics in our family. I’d never dream of taking alcohol to their homes, indeed I hide the alcohol when they come to my house and wouldn’t drink in front of them. Your home, your rules.

Absolutely, I sat through a medical withdrawal with a relative for 9 days and it was intensely stressful. He was in tears begging for my help so I took him to his GP. Think he got strong B1, diazepam and that stomach drug beginning with an O.

I was starting to really want a gin and tonic but there was no chance I could.

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