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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being weird??

117 replies

SquidGamez · 29/12/2023 19:52

Neither me nor DH work but we do have hobbies which make a bit of money. With not working I was worried I’d become lazy so set up a “work” schedule.
Weekdays -
Get up at 6am.
6-7 - walk the dog
7-8 breakfast and shower
8-9 general tidy up
9-12 “work”
12-1pm - walk the dog
1-2 pm - lunch
3-4pm - piano
4-5pm dinner prep

I don’t do anything else between these hours and do not allow myself any distractions, do not answer the phone or door, no cups of tea, no TV.

DH is much more casual about his day and has no rota.

This morning DH wanted me to come to B&Q with him to choose some floor tiles. I told him I was working and would be free at weekend. He responded by saying I’m “fucking weird” and went in a strop basically.

So am I weird?! Or just organised?

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 29/12/2023 19:56

There's no harm in being flexible around your partner once in a while.

Luxell934 · 29/12/2023 19:56

You sound nuts. But whatever works for you, but if you don't actually work and it's just a hobby then you don't need to be so regimented surely? Do you never do anything off 'schedule' Monday to Friday? Surely theres a nice balance to be had, even if you "worked" bit longer after you got back from B&Q.

Nursemumma92 · 29/12/2023 19:56

I would say 'fucking weird' is a bit harsh, but it does seem odd that unless you are working to a specific deadline with your money making hobby, then you could have gone today and done your hobby at the weekend. A schedule does seem positive and organised but it's the inflexibility of it that seems a bit strange- a huge bonus of not having to work is to be able to do things whenever you want.

Dotcheck · 29/12/2023 19:59

Surely part of the reason to not work is so you can have some flexibility? Perhaps think of it as a meeting with another department?

AlwaysForksAndMarbles · 29/12/2023 19:59

I have no idea why someone who doesn’t HAVE to go to shops at the weekend would choose to do so. It strikes me you’re making your life harder for no good reason. You might as well go back to work and have a salary to show for the restrictions you’re placing on your life.

Bigcoatweather · 29/12/2023 20:00

Are we allowed to ask why you don’t work?
I mean, I admire that you make your day productive. I imagine that gives you purpose and keeps you sane. I think he overreacted BUT if you don’t work I’d think you can give yourself a bit of flexibility for an occasional thing - those of us who have a job that allows for that would probably do that eg. Pick up a prescription, dental appointment etc….

Original poster
SquidGamez · 29/12/2023 20:00

Luxell934 · 29/12/2023 19:56

You sound nuts. But whatever works for you, but if you don't actually work and it's just a hobby then you don't need to be so regimented surely? Do you never do anything off 'schedule' Monday to Friday? Surely theres a nice balance to be had, even if you "worked" bit longer after you got back from B&Q.

I give myself 6 weeks of annual leave a year

OP posts:
ManateeFair · 29/12/2023 20:01

Yes, you are absolutely being fucking weird. Fine to set yourself a schedule if that’s your thing, but it is absolutely fucking weird to be so needlessly inflexible about it. If I were your partner this would piss me off.

ManateeFair · 29/12/2023 20:02

SquidGamez · 29/12/2023 20:00

I give myself 6 weeks of annual leave a year

Show quote history

Do ye, aye

PigeonPigPie · 29/12/2023 20:02

You don't answer the phone, answer the door or make a cup of tea all day either?
Yeah sorry, that's weird
What's the point in not having a job if you have no freedom???

SpecialCharacters · 29/12/2023 20:02

SquidGamez · 29/12/2023 20:00

I give myself 6 weeks of annual leave a year

Show quote history

Who takes over eating breakfast, having a shower and playing the piano while you’re off?

Sunnydays0101 · 29/12/2023 20:02

Why do you get up so early for ? Surely, a general tidy up doesn’t take an hour a day? Or an hour for breakfast and shower ?

ZsaZsaTheCat · 29/12/2023 20:05

SquidGamez · 29/12/2023 19:52

Neither me nor DH work but we do have hobbies which make a bit of money. With not working I was worried I’d become lazy so set up a “work” schedule.
Weekdays -
Get up at 6am.
6-7 - walk the dog
7-8 breakfast and shower
8-9 general tidy up
9-12 “work”
12-1pm - walk the dog
1-2 pm - lunch
3-4pm - piano
4-5pm dinner prep

I don’t do anything else between these hours and do not allow myself any distractions, do not answer the phone or door, no cups of tea, no TV.

DH is much more casual about his day and has no rota.

This morning DH wanted me to come to B&Q with him to choose some floor tiles. I told him I was working and would be free at weekend. He responded by saying I’m “fucking weird” and went in a strop basically.

So am I weird?! Or just organised?

I don’t believe a word of what you have written 🤣

Jingledog · 29/12/2023 20:05

I vote weird. Sounds more like OCD or almost a justification to yourself that you 'work' when you don't to make yourself somehow feel better. If you have no boss there is absolutely no reason why you couldn't of popped to b&q. Sounds like yourself lifestyle is subliminally making you feel a certain way so you have set yourself strict structure to overcompensate

ichundich · 29/12/2023 20:07

Why don't you work? Are you retired?

K37529 · 29/12/2023 20:08

6 weeks annual leave 😂😂 it's great you have a routine but maybe relax a bit. I can see why your husband is frustrated

CharlotteRumpling · 29/12/2023 20:08

Eh? Sure.

SpecialCharacters · 29/12/2023 20:08

K37529 · 29/12/2023 20:08

6 weeks annual leave 😂😂 it's great you have a routine but maybe relax a bit. I can see why your husband is frustrated

The OP was quite well done but the annual leave comment was too much, too early.

Original poster
SquidGamez · 29/12/2023 20:09

SpecialCharacters · 29/12/2023 20:02

Who takes over eating breakfast, having a shower and playing the piano while you’re off?

Show quote history

I still do all those things unless I’m away on holiday. I’m just more flexible with the times.

OP posts:
ChannelyourinnerElsa · 29/12/2023 20:10

Utterly fucking bat shit.

why not just work in a regimented job, what’s the point in not working if you don’t enjoy the flexibility that brings!

BMW6 · 29/12/2023 20:10

Sorry OP but you are being ridiculously rigid.

You are not "working". You are master of your own time.

I don't blame your DH for being annoyed.

Butchyrestingface · 29/12/2023 20:12

What do you do between 2-3, lazy arse @SquidGamez ?

YeahRatFans · 29/12/2023 20:13

Annual leave from what? You don't work...

Are you retired?

Growlybear83 · 29/12/2023 20:14

It sounds very odd to me. I would hate to have my life organised with a schedule like that at the best of times but when it's not essential, it seems pointless. I also find not answering the door or phone really weird, and this is something I've only ever come across on Mumsnet.

tawitttawoo · 29/12/2023 20:23

You sound insane. This must be a troll post.

You don't work. So you don't get annual leave. Self employed people choose to take time off when's convenient for them for a holiday or whatever. It is not annual leave. You do a bit of something that brings in a bit of income. Sounds shady to me. I'm assuming the income is not declared either?

Why are you so rigid and inflexible? You don't have an employer to report to. This whole situation is just weird