Am I being weird??

[SquidGamez]

Neither me nor DH work but we do have hobbies which make a bit of money. With not working I was worried I’d become lazy so set up a “work” schedule.
Weekdays -
Get up at 6am.
6-7 - walk the dog
7-8 breakfast and shower
8-9 general tidy up
9-12 “work”
12-1pm - walk the dog
1-2 pm - lunch
3-4pm - piano
4-5pm dinner prep

I don’t do anything else between these hours and do not allow myself any distractions, do not answer the phone or door, no cups of tea, no TV.

DH is much more casual about his day and has no rota.

This morning DH wanted me to come to B&Q with him to choose some floor tiles. I told him I was working and would be free at weekend. He responded by saying I’m “fucking weird” and went in a strop basically.

So am I weird?! Or just organised?

I obviously meant I don’t see anyone else when I’m ill as that’s what I was replying to - sickness

Ironically, your precision didn’t extend to that response.

I'm with your husband.

I think having a daily routine is fab and it clearly keeps you on track and keeps you motivated. A lot of people fall into bad habits when they're not working and your routine seems great... in some ways..!

I get that you dont want to get distracted by the TV or anything and end up wasting the day but it seems excessive not to allow yourself a drink or to answer the door unless it's scheduled in.

I do think you would benefit from finding a way to be more flexible within your working day though as this currently does seem very rigid.

Yes it's weird I'd say. Very rigid schedule for someone who doesn't work. Bizarre

I’ve got a similar schedule op and I’m autistic. I’ve got very low energy levels so I have to stick to the schedule to make sure that everything gets done and I stay reasonably healthy. I could never get up as early as you!

That said, I do make cups of tea and I regularly run out of energy and have to rest. I do also put the routine aside if a friend wants to meet for lunch but I can totally understand why you wouldn’t do this because I feel very frustrated with myself for forgetting that I need to make money.

I’d never ask a group of mostly neurotypicals if I’m weird though because I already know the answer🤣

She’s doing art from 9-12 so that’s the only time she can’t break off to have a cuppa or answer the door - if you are painting or sculpting etc you can’t just easily break off from it for interruptions

Why don’t either of you work? How do you finance things? It’s not necessarilly weird to have a routine but it is weird to be completely inflexible with it. That said, nothing wrong with being weird if it works for you.

Does the hobby cover your mortgage and bills?

We are financially very comfortable - hence why we don’t work

Sorry, but it sounds very weird to me. You might as well still be in employment. The point of retiring is so you can do whatever you want, whenever you want, and I don't blame your DH for his frustration. You are being far too rigid.

This makes more sense than any of my posts, thank you ☺️ you have explained it perfectly

I am also autistic so that’s maybe why everyone else thinks I’m weird 😂

I'd say that if you regularly engage in something that brings in an income, however small, you are working. Just because its something you enjoy it doesn't negate it.

Your schedule does sound a little rigid, I can see your dh frustration.

Maybe you should value yourself more sbout when you are actually working but allow some flexibility into the rest if your day. I wish I had your self discipline.

I think the thread would have gone differently if you had said you work, part time hours, for yourself and structure your day around that.

Why are you so scared of not having 'a plan'? It sounds like you need a lot of control in your life?

I retired last year, and I abandon plans at the drop of a hat for a visitor, or a request to meet for coffee, and meals happen whenever I can be bothered. I would far rather be me than your PILs.

If really in the zone with whatever piece i was working on, I wouldn't have stopped to go to B&Q (but I also wouldn't have a scheduled finish time).
Otherwise though I'd totally be flexible and see the schedule as a way to structure my day when nothing else crops up.

I am also autistic so that’s maybe why everyone else thinks I’m weird 😂

Ffs op if you'd stated that from the outset that would've been super helpful.

Some harsh comments here @SquidGamez.

All I'll say is
-people who retire with no plans often die young
-purpose in life is what keeps us motivated
-your schedule is a good idea, but try to relax a little too.

Do you sell your work? If so, then it's work and you are entitled to call yourself an artist. If you don't sell your work then I think it's stretch to say 'I'm an artist'. I have a hobby I am keen on but it's just for fun and I definitely don't say 'I'm a X', unless it's qualified with 'keen amateur'. I am struggling to believe all of this.

@SquidGamez you’ve got a system that suits you. I have to have rules, schedules, checklists and index cards or nothing gets done. I also become even more anxious than I am usually.

To me it sounds batshit crazy type talk (slightly joking) but it's your life and you're absolutely entitled to live it how you want.

Personally, even if I had decided on such a rigorous routine (I would never), I should be flexible enough to visit DIY store with my partner and such like events.

However, perhaps you're someone who needs to have this schedule in order to maintain your own equilibrium ? I would consider if you can ease it up a bit just so you don't lose friends and alienate people as it does come off as somewhat 'eccentric'.

Also, may I ask, if you're so dead set on this 'work schedule' are you not interested in maybe doing some actual p/t work or voluntary work, it might be more interesting for you?

I'm totally with you! It's so easy to drift and get depressed with no plan. If I were to lose my job I'd have a schedule like yours.

It's Mumsnet - just assume everyone is autistic unless they tell you otherwise 😂

Ah, I was going to ask this but didn't want to be shouted down. Makes sense. As a fellow ASDer, who doesn't have a strict routine but should try harder to establish one (as it helps me feel safe in the world), may I suggest that you clearly have achieved this but it could help to try and be a little accommodating to others here and there, if you can.