4 year old keeps saying ' fucking shit ' and ' shit '

[whitenedd]

Not ideal.

We try not to swear, clearly we have not been careful enough.

How do we get her to stop ?

She thinks it's funny now and we've given her a reaction ' saying OH NO YOU can't say that ' ' those are bad words '. At one point she replied ' but you say it, don't you mummy '. I said those are bad words and mummy shouldn't say them, no one should say them.

Any advice on how to take the novelty out of it all for her ?

I feel terrible.

My SIL washed my brother's mouth out with soap and water at that age, never said it again 😂

lolz at child abuse eh

Who uses the word fuck in front of children? You can hardly tell your children it’s wrong if you are using the same language

Absolutely. Call me a pearl-clutcher (some of you will) but what on earth do you expect if you use that sort of language in front of a 4 year old? Good luck with the “adult word” hypocrisy, like that’ll work 🙄

I used to work with teenagers training to work in childcare settings and it was one of the first things they had to learn: they need to moderate their language when with children. If 16 year-olds can do it, adults certainly can.

I don’t think swearing is ‘wrong’ though. It’s literally words. Swearing AT someone is wrong, as is insulting them, but not swearing in general.

You’re cool with hearing the word “fuck” from the mouth of a 4 year old?

OMG that’s hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

Sure? Doesn’t bother me. Why does it bother you? Without all the frothing - a literal explanation of why the four letters that form fuck are upsetting to hear.

I think 4 is too old to just ignore in the hope she won't say it again - that works fine for 2 year olds I think you need to explain that it's a rude/nasty/mean word and that you don't say it in your family because you're not rude/nasty/mean.

I found that describing them as ugly words seemed to work better than rude or naughty.

Sure? Doesn’t bother me. Why does it bother you? Without all the frothing - a literal explanation of why the four letters that form fuck are upsetting to hear

Because people deliberately choose to use the word “fuck” to be offensive. And because lots of people find it offensive. Otherwise, you’d just say “frog” or “walk” etc.

Just like you chose the word “frothing” to be offensive, rather than “explaining” or “worrying”.

Laughed out loud at hello you fat bastard!

I'm a swearer I can't stop it's too late now. Adults do lots of things kids aren't allowed to do, they just have to understand that.

Also I just ignore on the rare occasion it happens or my 5 year old will just repeat repeat repeat.

😂😂😂😂😂

She picked it up from you. Happened to my DD too who picked it up from DH. We gave her a very stern talking to, and I then also gave DH a very stern talking to in private about his swearing. He had already cut down alot prior to this but this really made him stop totally. DD stopped, and DD2 never got exposed to it.

Even with the best intentions suddenly burning yourself taking a baking tray out of the oven or cutting yourself chopping carrots you might not help letting out a “Fuck”. Swearing helps you deal with pain.

Thanks to this thread I will always think of kittens as fat bastards now.

Because people deliberately choose to use the word “fuck” to be offensive. And because lots of people find it offensive

but it doesn’t need to be offensive unless people take it as so. It’s a word. As you say, like frog or any other word: I can’t get het up about words unless they’re being used to be nasty to people

My DD spent one afternoon saying a lot of profanities to her grandparents. They sat like she wasn’t saying a word (then laughed their arses off once she’d gone). She didn’t do it again. Looking for a reaction.

Tell her it is a naughty word, but at least it isn't ... then pick a word, a very very bad word. It could be Kilimanjaro or Doha.

Make it something you are not likely to say by accident , so if you are visiting Qatar maybe rethink it.

if/when she says it, then you react.

She is four. She is at school, or will start school in September. If she swears there she will be told off, and you will be informed. She won't simply be ignored.

I read a tip on a “playful parenting” Instagram page that worked amazingly well with my 3yo: you calmly say “That is a grown up word and we don’t say it. But be REALLY CAREFUL that you don’t say Flooglegloop” (or any nonsense word).

Give a massive OTT playful reaction when they say it. Has you both in stitches and they soon forget “shit”.

Im not that bothered. Where we live words like ‘shit’ are used in local language as a common word, it’s not offensive. In English kids might be taught ‘poop’ instead, but Ds learns ‘shit’ in local language, even at nursery. So just translates it directly when talking English.

He also said ‘ that bloody Cat’ the other day, when cat was stealing his sandwich. I think it’s fine in that content

I just said to my boy - those are not nice words but if you have to say them, do it at home when there’s only me and dad here.

Because they weren’t forbidden he never bothered again 😁

Either 1 ignore it.

Or 2 tell her she can say it so that it becomes boring but say she cannot say a perfectly silly word like gobbledygook or something. Make a different word funny to her

I agree. Not everyone finds swearing offensive. However, some people do and there are definitely places where it would be considered inappropriate.

I simply gave my child permission to swear at home but not out in public. And I explained that some people are ok with those words and some people find them upsetting. She experimented with using swear words at home for a few days then lost interest.

And she still has permission to use them at home as I don’t find them offensive. Also, there are some interesting studies on actual benefits to swearing.

I think not making a big deal about it works pretty well.

When I was working in nursery we were taught that it is common and normal for young children to go through a swearing stage because they are experimenting with language. The guidance for us was not to make a big deal of it or react negatively and to either ignore it or simply say in an offhand manner that we don’t use those words at kindy.

People who are just sweary and can't help it, do you swear when talking to clients / customers at work? If you're a teacher, do you swear in front of your class?
Everyone is capable of using appropriate language for the situation and I think it is awful to see people swearing in front of their small children. There is no need. There is nothing funny or cute about a 4 year old saying fuck.

I think it depends on the personality of your child whether ignoring or dealing with it is better. You can replace the words. Our house is now like something out of Mary Poppins - gosh, blimey, crikey, oh my goodness, and biscuits (from Bluey).