To ask you to breakdown the costs of raising your child/ren?

[DragonMama3]

I will start - my daughter in KS1 - Universal Free School Meals. Son in KS2 - 2.85 x 5 per week, rainbow guides subs and 2 gbp per week.

smellies 1gbp.

Yes, I agree these are optional. And that’s the same with most of the other dozens of replies too. OP was asking for a breakdown, not for a split of essential and optional costs.

I wouldn’t say my children were “to blame” for any of the costs. They are all entirely my choice.

As for the mortgage, as I already said, I wasn’t sure whether or not to include the increased housing costs or not. If we didn’t have kids we’d be living in a much smaller house in a much cheaper area, so I lean towards including the cost. Probably should only include the interest and stamp duty components, as we’ll be able to release the equity when they have moved out and we move. But now I come to think of it, I didn’t include stamp duty in the original, so let’s call it £1,500 per month on additional housing cost.

Per month:

• £800 nursery
• £45 toddler group
• £18 swimming
• £20 on specific snacks we otherwise wouldn't buy
• £15-£30ish on clothing (shoes/wellies/second hand bundles for nursery/hair clips - where do they all go!)
• £10-£20 treats (toy when we go somewhere/ hot chocolate date)
• £25 nappies and wipes
• £0 toiletries (we are still using toiletries we were given when she was born!)
• £50-£200 Junior ISA (depending on monthly budget)

So a rough average of £1200pcm if everything was at its most expensive for the month, which is basically my entire part time wage at present.

Te essential vs optional... like many other parts of life, expenditure expands as income expands. Kids get expensive hobbies as patents can afford it. Housing choice definitely does. Food choices do. Even childcare choices.

So what children cost is actually very variable

A lot of that is your own choice to be honest.

Given the $, sounds like that poster is overseas - US and Canadian kindergarten starts at age 5/6 (equivalent to Y1, not reception).

When we lived in Canada, our subsidised university nursery was $2.5k CAD per month. Private Montessori nursery would be more like $4k. Paying that for 48 months (age 1 to age 5) takes you to just shy of $200k.

Best in mind salaries are much higher in Toronto, so more affordable than those figures would be over here.

what is missing in the OP is clothes, school uniform, food, holidays, toys, birthday parties, presents for birthday parties, etc. so nowhere near as comprehensive.
but just activities:
DC1
£60 swimming
£35 Martial arts
£60 Saturday language school
£12 pocket money
£270 afterschool club

DC2
£60 swimming
£60 martial arts
£35 football
£8 pocket money
£270 afterschool club

free school lunches and school trips (London primary)
but
£400 per week summer camp (5 weeks a year £2000)
£4000 a year for flights for DC (to go on holiday/ see family)
£500 each birthday party
£300 presents for birthday parties that they are invited to…
£20,000 annual salary sacrifice for going part time…
Toiletries, school uniform, clothes, food, stuff… the list is endless. The big ticket is childcare, everything else can be cut according g to cloth.

Umm…yes. See literally 3 posts above yours, where the same thing was discussed.

Am I missing something here? Aren’t all the replies including optional costs?

Of course it is entirely possible to bring a child up on the cheapest food, wearing only hand-me-down clothing, no paid hobbies, and walking as the only mode of transport, but that wasn’t what OP asked.

Why do you keep posting gbp it's bizarre.

The 'that's optional/choice' posts are silly.

Of course they're all optional (except just enough gruel to not die). Doesn't mean they don't exist though.

Just did a quick calculation per child:

School transport, school meals, extra curricular activities total: £3500 per year. Costs to do with education anyhow, excluding uniform/shoes etc.

Could I ask the name of the place? Thx

https://www.eastminsterridingschool.co.uk/

DD goes here. It's excellent but has a long waiting list.

I'm quite shocked by how much some people spend. I have three children and they aren't really interested in extra curricular clubs yet (but they're still young). I've definitely missed out on increased income by opting for flexibility, part time and remote working over job hopping and full time work. However having kids means I don't bother booking lavish abroad holidays (what's the point?), I don't have nights out drinking, hotels, or dinners out (maybe only once every couple of months). I also don't prioritise nice clothing, because again what's the point, and I'm too tired for my own hobbies as a mum apart from simple exercise or reading.

I would say their child benefit covers their food each month, I have all boys so I buy for my oldest then hand down clothes, I pick up toys for cheap or free on Facebook marketplace, and I pay for childcare only for them between the ages of 2 and 3 (when my MIL stops helping and they go to nursery before free childcare comes in at 3). There are loads of hidden costs which other people have fairly mentioned, but you save in other ways by having kids too.

DD is 3 and costs on a monthly basis:

Childcare £680-£720
New Clarks shoes for preschool x2 £72
Weekly food shop (this is just DDs stuff not our weekly shop) £60
Umpteen parental leave due to sickness, probably cost me about 3k over her 3 years.
Christmas and birthday presents £250 a pop.
Wrap around care £80 a week
Clothes, I shop in supermarkets, primark, hand me downs etc, £100ish every few months
Clubs (swimming lessons, gymnastics) £80 per month.
Maternity leave set me back tens of thousands.

I no longer have to buy nappies and formula but that was £40 per week.

I'm hoping the costs will level out as she gets older but this threat says otherwise!

I'm 4 weeks pg with DC2.

DD12 £18 per week bus, £12 school dinners, term time only. Gymnastic £72 a month (plus insurance, comp and leotards do works out more like £100). £15 for rugby

DS9 £7.50 school dinners, £32 for the term after school football, £50 per term school guitar lessons, swimming £40 a month, football £20 a month

DS1 £350 a month nursery.

obviously have clothes, one off activities, friends birthday presents, food, utilities, toiletries etc. I also put away into savings and also give the older two pocket money…

Remember unexpected costs like tutors in case your dc have sen that school can't support etc

One at uni
£460/month for uni living costs
£1500/summer rent

One on placement
car costs:
car insurance £100/month
depreciation £300/month

Childcare for twins, £4 a day each so £1560 for both, plus £2.25 a day for lunch which is 877.50. Role on September.

DS is on packed lunches apart from Fridays so that's £87.75

He also do Cubs which is £11 a month so £121 a year.

The twins are starting maybe February in Squirrels so will be six months so another £121 in total.

He does an art after school club maybe 3 out of 6 half terms at £5 a week so maybe £95 total

School trips are reasonable but there's definitely a September one for everyone that'll be £45 for the three of them, and then maybe another £60 tops for the rest of the year.

Uniforms, hard to gauge, still using seconds for smalls so I'd say probably about £300 a year minimum.

£250 for Xmas, £250* for birthdays

All three in overnight nappies, so about £160

Plus the obvious food and clothes and incidentals.

1 DS monthly outgoings:

£25 swimming lessons
£50 school clubs
£20 pocket money
£100 family activities at weekends etc

And then food I can't really say, we budget £100 a week for a family of 3

We do feed, house and clothe them. Hit Primani for 1 outfit per child - 103 gbp later. Car runs on diesel. £50 in diesel at a supermarket pump. Used to be branded garage fuel but supermarket cheaper and add additive.

Subway lunch today was 26 gbp. They are back 2moz so total lunch cost will be 1 school dinner - 2.85 GBP, 1 college lunch £3.00 gbp. 1U FSM - gratis
(College subsides lunches heavily and offers free brekkie items for all). I used to take eldest when I was a single mum for free toast or free porridge and was studying.

We live so far from activities that it's very hard to attend clubs. My disability doesn't help.