To ask you to breakdown the costs of raising your child/ren?

[DragonMama3]

I will start - my daughter in KS1 - Universal Free School Meals. Son in KS2 - 2.85 x 5 per week, rainbow guides subs and 2 gbp per week.

smellies 1gbp.

I mean, if you were really costing it out, you'd have to factor in clothes, food, equipment from rainbow uniform to car seats for each of them.

Per month:
DS10
£34 piano
£20 football
£12 Scouts
£40 David Lloyd membership
£12 pocket money
£7 phone
£50 clothes/shoes (averaged out across the year)
£16 haircut

DD8
£34 piano
£20 football
£12 theatre school
£88 horseriding
£33 swimming
£40 David Lloyd membership
£12 pocket money
£2 smartwatch
£50 clothes/shoes (averaged out across the year)
£16 haircut

Plus increased cost of holidays, day trips, meals out; Christmas and birthday presents; birthday parties; food and utilities; larger house and car than we probably would have had otherwise; and reduced income from me working part time...

Dread to add it all up. But it's 1000's across the year with phones, online gaming and extra curricular activities. Then add pocket money, lunch money, clothes and the taxiing around.
Especially as DC1 is at uni, so we pay top up and continue to pay for some extra curricular activities... yep the joy of having teenagers!

I lost my ability to walk in a head-on car crash. There's no after-school clubs where I am or before school clubs.

I love David Lloyd

I'm thinking I maybe v tight

I also calculated that we’d spent over 100k on part time childcare for two children.
Spend about £600 a month on groceries for two teenagers plus £6.50 allowance each a day on meals .
younger one has tutoring (essential for one subject) £200pm. Older one learning to drive £360pm plus bought him a car £4000 insurance £150pm.
Over they years have spent thousands on clubs, activities, birthdays.
phones for two £60pm
gym for two is £50 pm
haircuts monthly £30
Allowances- older teen £100pm younger gets £50pm
As pp said, I’ve also lost huge amounts in going part time lost earning pension contributions etc.
We have a lovely house and decent cars but aside from that live modestly to afford to prioritise the children.

It all adds up. The prices are getting so high for even the most basic of items.

The price of driving lessons is so high. It was 14 in my day.

Australian viewpoint just for interest/comparison. DD6 (almost 7) and DS3 (almost 4), living centrally in Sydney.

Daycare x4 days and after school care x2 days per week: $1715/month (50ish% subsidised) does not include holiday care of approx $40-$70/day.

Swimming lessons: approx $350/term (one dc receives govt. swim voucher based on age.

Gymnastics and cheer and ninja warrior $250/month (govt. voucher of $50 can be applied twice a year for 1dc)

School lunch order approx $10 per order on an ad hoc basis. Sometime twice a month, sometimes none. All packed lunch items covered in grocery shop

DD Sports shoes $180/year (2pairs)
DD School shoes $200/year (2 pairs)

Clothes and shoes generally $50ea/month. Sometimes gets spent, sometimes builds up until needed.

Savings $40each/month minimum

Birthdays:approx $600-800/each. Covers cake, presents, party, entertainer, venue, party bags.

Already adjusted this new year budget to cover iPad purchase towards end of year, and registration/hiring fees etc for school band the following year.

Forgot:
Haircuts- $40/each as needed
Glasses- approx $250/year (heavily subsidized by health insurance)

Dental - covered by insurance

School photos $65 base package
Daycare photos $50 base package

DS, born 2008, cost £750 a month childcare in yrs 2, 3 & 4. = £27k
Years 5-11 £1,950 wrap around care + swimming lesson & karate club £750p.a. = £18,900
Years 12-18 £9k school fees + £750 sports +£1k school trips p.a = £75k

So about £120k to age 18, not including food, clothes, tech, utilities, housing, bikes and the effect on my reduced earnings potential.

Probably £200k in total.

I wouldn't have missed it for the world.🤗

Last time I participated in one of these threads, it cost me £924 all in monthly, paying for 1 florida holiday per year broken down, and one trip to Paris each month, her breakdown of living costs, pocket money, phone, ipad, clothes, extra curricular activities, food and school lunches...that was 2019.

I daresay its more now, and we have nowhere near the same standard of living. Ugh 2023/24 is a bit depressing really.

I recall reading somewhere on average a child costs 100k, although I'm sure it must be much more than that unless you're only doing the bare minimum (I imagine teens, and young adults actually cost a lot more!). I shudder to think

DD5, not UK so not in school yet. $2500/month preschool, $600/month tolls+petrol to get DD to school. $100/school lunch. $150/month gymnastics, $80/month swimming. $900/year for ski lessons, season pass, equipment, snow suit. $400-500/year for clothes and shoes. $200/birthday and Christmas. $4/week pocket money. Not counting what she adds to family shop, extra plane tickets for holidays etc, or 1 off like push chairs, car seats, bike seat, bike trailer etc.

In total we have spent about $200k on childcare alone so far.

Wow, can I ask for how many children and for how long? Is this just nursery?

Food etc... £40 a week each (based on 1/3 of the bill, and they eat more than me).
DD1... climbing is £20 a month, Scouts £9 a month
DD2.... rugby is currently free, Scouts £12 a month

Then there's the irregular stuff like school trips, Scout camps etc. That is currently about £100 per month due to both having residential school trips this year, plus a Scout trip abroad. (This is obviously a luxury cost)

Then there's clothes, shoes, uniform, random supplies etc... DD1 seems to need a regular supply of pens and glue sticks for school. Mobile phone top ups. TV subscription. Fuel costs for extracurricular activities

I mean I just paid £190 for a tracksuit for DS

Is the horse riding in London or closer to London? Thx

May or may not be relevant as I live in New Zealand...

In some respects, the cost of living in NZ is very high but I have found I have been able to get my children into excellent schools, give them wonderful holidays and lots of opportunities to try different activities even though I've raised them as a lone parent on a part-time income.

Daycare was a big cost until I became a lone parent and then the subsidies were a big help, fees reducing to about $30 a week. (from $250)

Broadly speaking, our primary schools are excellent so there's no need to go private. Some don't even require a uniform so the only costs are stationery (about $30 a yr) and camps. There is a donation request which can be as high as $1000 a year; I paid $200 a yr oer child throughout primary years.

After-school care was subsidised and I never paid more than $18 a week.

Secondary schooling has been more costly: uniforms ($1000 a piece), laptops, travel costs ($40/wk each) and school fees of around $4k/yr each. And much more hefty stationery requirements and fees for trips, thousands in the eldest one's case.

After school stuff is relatively inexpensive, probably $100 a week for both which has variously included
piano, violin, clarinet, guitar, drums, ballet, swimming, tennis, basketball, netball, soccer, softball, Scouts, Girl Guides, art, photography, animation, claymation, theatre, sewing and robotics.

Most expensive were the music lessons at $30 a lesson, the others were very inexpensive.

I could have done it more cheaply by sticking with state high schools and not allowing so many extracurricular but looking back I feel like I made good choices.

Dr fees for children are depending on where you live and personal circumstances; I've paid around $13 per child's visit from.age 6. Dentistry is free through to age 18 but I've forked out $12k in orthodontist fees for one child.

One child was identified as gifted and the schools provided them with lots of fantastic extension activities. The other child is neurodiverse and I paid specialists literally thousands of dollars for diagnoses, treatment and advice. Also tutoring. No help from the state school but vg support through the private school.

@HarrietTheFireStarter is the $4k NZD a year standard price for Private school in New Zealand? With currency conversion, is about $40k here in a non expensive part of England!!

Childcare (BSC and ASC) £15 per day, per child. We both work FT and holiday club is also £15-35 per day depending on whether it's multisport or drama camp.

Music lessons and extra curricular
£17 per week piano
£2 per week orchestra and choir
£4 per week for two instruments taught via school
£5 per week Brownies and Cubs £2.50 per child
£150 football for the Year (covers training and matches × 3 per week and kit so pretty bargainous)
£5 per week multisport at school
£3 per month French at school
£3 per month Mandarin at school
£32 per month each swimming

In the past they have done things like tennis and gymnastics which are more expensive but have focussed their activities. A lot are done via school (state primary) which keeps costs down.

Nursery fees were extortionate but it's easier now they are primary.

Clothes is probably maybe £20 a month average. They don't need much and their uniform is supermarket / M & S stuff with branded sweatshirts.

Holidays and extra curricular days out probably our biggest expense but that's luxury.

They are cheaper than my cat!

My kids eat, drink, have hobbies, need to be housed, the heating on, they wear clothes, we go to places and since my car doesn't run on water there are costs with that. and then the main cost - a combination of childcare and loss of earnings (I went part time). Must have cost me about 200k over the years.

If all your kids cost you are school dinners and smellies, you are doing bloody well!

Well the big costs are often loss of earnings and pension contributions if you go part time or stop working. Childcare if you don’t.

No, not at all. My children went to what's known as state-integrated schools which are sort of cheap private schools. They're funded both by the state and parents to follow a particular ethos. My children's schools were Catholic.