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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you to breakdown the costs of raising your child/ren?

96 replies

DragonMama3 · 28/12/2023 21:22

I will start - my daughter in KS1 - Universal Free School Meals. Son in KS2 - 2.85 x 5 per week, rainbow guides subs and 2 gbp per week.

smellies 1gbp.

OP posts:
aqenek · 28/12/2023 21:42

Is that all they cost you?

aqenek · 28/12/2023 21:43

Do you mean smellies as in toiletries? Or is it a club I'm not aware of.

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 28/12/2023 21:44

I spend about £1k a month on extra curricular activities ( for 2) and about £40 on school dinners and £40-50 on travel ( bus) maybe £10-15 each for bits in town.

TooBigForMyBoots · 28/12/2023 21:46

Great idea for a thread @DragonMama3 and I'm looking forward to the replies. My Ex pays £7 per day maintenance for DS and thinks he's being generous.Hmm

Bornonsunday · 28/12/2023 21:53

Child 1 - music lessons £42 pw (doing grade 8), allowance £20 pw
Child 2 - music lessons £39 pw (2 instruments plus theory), orchestra £8 pw, guides £4 pw, swimming £10 pw, allowance £18 pw
Child 3 - music lessons £14 pw, guides £4 pw, swimming £10, pocket money £5 pw
Food around £30 each pw.
Plus around £300 each per year for holiday activities.
Music is very expensive!

RandomQuestionOfTheDay · 28/12/2023 21:53

I spent over £100,000 on childcare for two DC from about age one to the end of primary.

Also cost me 2x maternity leaves (when I got paid 6 weeks maternity pay) and 3 years of working 3 or 4 days a week. Probably cost me a promotion too.

Other than that they cost me just about all of my disposable income.

More specifically today we bought them new school shoes at £36 and £49 (adult size shoes) in the sales.

DragonMama3 · 28/12/2023 22:12

aqenek · 28/12/2023 21:42

Is that all they cost you?

I probably forgot food etc. Bit shattered tbh

OP posts:
DragonMama3 · 28/12/2023 22:13

TooBigForMyBoots · 28/12/2023 21:46

Great idea for a thread @DragonMama3 and I'm looking forward to the replies. My Ex pays £7 per day maintenance for DS and thinks he's being generous.Hmm

My X resents payin 127 gbp a month. He's no idea how much raising a teen costs.

OP posts:
DragonMama3 · 28/12/2023 22:14

RandomQuestionOfTheDay · 28/12/2023 21:53

I spent over £100,000 on childcare for two DC from about age one to the end of primary.

Also cost me 2x maternity leaves (when I got paid 6 weeks maternity pay) and 3 years of working 3 or 4 days a week. Probably cost me a promotion too.

Other than that they cost me just about all of my disposable income.

More specifically today we bought them new school shoes at £36 and £49 (adult size shoes) in the sales.

Wow! LDN?

OP posts:
DragonMama3 · 28/12/2023 22:14

aqenek · 28/12/2023 21:43

Do you mean smellies as in toiletries? Or is it a club I'm not aware of.

tolietries. Scratch that though... toothpaste quid, shampoo, 1,50

OP posts:
Bepopp · 28/12/2023 22:15

Jeez. TTC and would love a big family but that is me dreaming… the reality is, it’s expensive! I think we’ll stick at one

Bepopp · 28/12/2023 22:15

@DragonMama3 I bet that’s not London. I bet it’s everywhere!

DragonMama3 · 28/12/2023 22:16

There are buses once a week here and they are weekend so hubby off work. My eldest takes quite a lot of lunch money to college. He has college trips and equipment.

OP posts:
DragonMama3 · 28/12/2023 22:18

Bepopp · 28/12/2023 22:15

Jeez. TTC and would love a big family but that is me dreaming… the reality is, it’s expensive! I think we’ll stick at one

When my eldest was a baby a weeks nappies from aldi were 3.79 and 4.99 for a bumper pack. Milk was 6 gbp. His childcare for 3 full days was 500gbp. Included meal and nappies.

OP posts:
DragonMama3 · 28/12/2023 22:19

Bepopp · 28/12/2023 22:15

@DragonMama3 I bet that’s not London. I bet it’s everywhere!

ouch! I'm in NW England

OP posts:
RandomQuestionOfTheDay · 28/12/2023 22:22

Bepopp · 28/12/2023 22:15

@DragonMama3 I bet that’s not London. I bet it’s everywhere!

No not London.

zigzag716746zigzag · 28/12/2023 22:31

Currently:

school fees £3k
driving lessons £100
food £200
sports clubs £50
music lessons £60
monthly payment towards a particular education opportunity £500
Savings towards their house deposits £500

and increase in mortgage moving to city £1k, which I don’t know whether to include or not, but if it weren’t for DC we wouldn’t have moved.

Teenagers are expensive.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 28/12/2023 22:31

When DD (my second and last child) left primary school, I got my closing invoice from after school club. It was around £40K. I made some joke about it. Then the manager said "that's just since we moved to the accounting system, you've got 2 years with DC1 on the old system". And the nursery years... I reckon £75K is not far off for childcare. Rural West Yorkshire.

I can't even bring myself to put a price on how much raising dc has cost us. Where do you begin? Do you count the extra cost of holidays out of term time? Music lessons, swimming lessons, fees for other sports, Cub dubs, loss of earnings through p/t work and mat leave, hundreds and hundreds of shoes, bikes, school uniforms, school books, bus fares, that's just state school in a fairly modest part of England,

I'm not unhappy about any of that though. The thing that grates, is that both dc had big enough feet to pay VAT on their shoes in year 4! That needs reviewing! .

SouthLondonMum22 · 28/12/2023 22:38

Nursery is our big expense - £2302 per month just for a 1 year old and it is only going to get more expensive since I'm having twins this time.

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 28/12/2023 23:11

I mean where do you start & finish!? Your own list isn’t very comprehensive and if thats all they cost you then you are doing very bloody well! My son is in his teens now but in primary school there was before & after school club to fund, can’t remember exactly how much it cost but probably about £10 a day (£50 a week) and school dinners at around £12 a week. At one point I had a childminder for Saturday childcare at £40 a day. So thats just over £100 a week in total. Then theres money for school party contributions. Presents for kids birthday parties he attended and school uniform.

In high school annual new uniform costs me around £350, packed lunch around £10 a week, another £5 a week for the crap he buys in the school canteen, he’s doing GCSE music and private lessons once a week are a mandatory requirement at £192 per term (I’m currently struggling and the school have agreed to fund this term to help out but can’t guarantee next term so I face possibly having to find it somehow), Duke of Edinburgh £300 (to cover transport and qualified coaches before all the expedition stuff that’ll need buying), pocket money £20 per month, countless £1 donations for non-uniform days, christ knows how much on stationary I must buy a bag of pens every few weeks then theres pencils, rulers, rubbers, scientific calculators etc. Extra cash to cover the cost if he gets invited to a specific activity with friends (this year included cinema at £25 and playing golf at £15). The odd pound here or there for a drink or bag of sweets. And thats before factoring in the general clothes and shoes he needs for outside of school or the ridiculous amount of food he puts away and clothes washing he creates when home, my food and toiletries shop would probably be half what it is if I didn’t have to feed / wash him too so thats potentially £30-£40 a week! Then theres the extra electricity he uses taking stupidly long showers, tripling my wash loads and playing computer games during hours I’m at work and always leaving bloody lights on so electricity would probably cost quite a bit less too!

He doesn’t do extra-curricular activities because I can’t afford them, my mum paid for him to do martial arts for a while (just under £60 a month) but it just became too expensive when she had to reduce her hours.

He has no contact with his Dad and I get no maintenance to help towards costs.

LBOCS2 · 28/12/2023 23:21

How far do you want to go with it? Our mortgage is pretty much double what it would be in the same area for 4 beds instead of 2, but we'd probably live more centrally and less 'school focused' if we didn't have DC.

So...

Both DDs: £250 a month in childcare

DD1:
Riding lessons: £80
Cello lessons: £40
Swimming subs: £27
Pocket money: £20

DD2:
Gymnastics: £25
Swimming lessons: £30
Piano lessons: £45
Pocket money: £10

DSS:
Maintenance: £550
Allowance: £100
Bus fare: £40
School lunches: £50
Incidentals: £35

Plus (for all three) school uniforms, weather appropriate seasonal clothing and shoes, holidays x5 people in the school breaks, days out, food, etc etc. We do OK, but it adds up!

Cowsontheloose · 28/12/2023 23:38

DD12
choir, piano lessons and guides termly £60, £55, £25
Kickboxing £5 a week
Bus fare £20 a month
Phone £15 a month
Food, toiletries - all done in weekly shop
Clothes £20 a month ish (she gets £10 a week from grandparents which she tends to spend on her own clothes)
Merlin annual pass ×3 (got because of her) £750 a year
Random bits she sees £20 a month
Probably other bits as well
Loads of lifts to everywhere

DragonMama3 · 28/12/2023 23:55

2k on nursery? woah! now worried im too tight.

kids are very expensive!

OP posts:
Saschka · 28/12/2023 23:56

Lots of extracurriculars here:

Swimming £34 per month
Rugby £15 per month, which is an absolute bargain
Football £110 per term (works out £10 per week, but it is an afterschool club so runs from 3:30-6pm and includes sandwich tea)
Gymnastics £36 per month
Tennis £190 per term (works out at £15 for an hour long class, probably the most expensive thing he does but he really loves going).

Child benefit covers most of it. Free school lunches (London primary). Free music lessons and language lessons via school. He doesn’t cost us much in food or clothes.

He cost an absolute fortune when he was a toddler in nursery (easily £2k per month), but since starting school the cost has gone right down.

UsingChangeofName · 29/12/2023 00:03

I will start - my daughter in KS1 - Universal Free School Meals. Son in KS2 - 2.85 x 5 per week, rainbow guides subs and 2 gbp per week.

Presumably there must either be childcare, or loss of one salary if one of you is a SAHP - which is quite a big thing you haven't factored in , here.