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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just throw out most of the toys and start over?

155 replies

Malteasercheesecake · 28/12/2023 19:15

I know this is my own fault but we are in a toy nightmare. Countless jigsaws with missing pieces, toys that have several different pieces (eg toy car transporter with several different cars but all of them all over the place and don’t know how to find them amongst the several thousand other toy cars.)

Obviously some toys will survive the cull but is it really awful just to throw most of them away and start over?

OP posts:
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Original poster
Malteasercheesecake · 28/12/2023 20:21

I’ve said the opposite @Occasional2023 .

I am getting the impression you want me to say I’ll throw them all out so you can berate me. Don’t you?

OP posts:
pear6782 · 28/12/2023 20:21

yeah I would throw away the junk. Every so often, I sort and organise the toys (have a decent storage system in place though) and as I do it, I always find one or two black bags of mismatched items to clear. Makes me so happy. I never touch sentimental things though.

crumblingschools · 28/12/2023 20:21

DS played with the same toys for years. He didn’t always keep things in sets as would mix and match toys using imaginative play. Does make it a nightmare sorting things out eventually (possibly why our loft is full of stuff!) Also made it a nightmare to choose when to get rid of things as he played with so much of it.

I would put puzzles together to check all pieces were there. Fine when 50 and under pieces but I now have a number if 1000 piece puzzles I need to sort through.

If you are going to get rid of cars etc, you could get rid of via Facebook selling site etc and just describe as miscellaneous vehicles. Doesn’t matter whether they are in a set

carparkcow · 28/12/2023 20:22

Just to say in the face of all of the judgey comments I totally get you and we are in the same position.

We've got some lovely new toys for Christmas which I am guarding with my life and making sure every tiny piece goes back into every box before they are added to the abyss too

User9088 · 28/12/2023 20:25

I swear by the veg bags from supermarkets. They are see through with a drawstring and cheap. Put all the pizza bits in one and just chuck all the cars in another even if they're mixed, all farm toys in one etc. As you're putting bits in you can probably do a big box of "time will tell" as anther poster said and anything broken straight in the bin

Occasional2023 · 28/12/2023 20:26

Malteasercheesecake · 28/12/2023 20:21

I’ve said the opposite @Occasional2023 .

I am getting the impression you want me to say I’ll throw them all out so you can berate me. Don’t you?

Apologies if I have misunderstood. You indicated that it would take you a long time to sort the toys out, and we all can agree that charity shops do not want toys with bits missing or broken. So I don't quite understand what you were intending to do. If the unsorted toys are not to go to charity then where are they going if not the bin? . I acknowledge that you intend to sort out and keep the train set. I hope that you can find a happy medium and importantly that your son is not upset by whatever happens.

PurpleBugz · 28/12/2023 20:27

Incredibly lazy and terrible for the planet.

I have a system where I have a missing parts box I throw things in as I go then periodically spend the time putting each bit back in its box. Also have a few game/toys sat on top of toy cupboard that have missing parts after a couple months up there without finding the bits I do recycle them (orchard toys let you order missing bits!).

For jigsaws not unreasonable to start over if you recycle them. I'm very eco aware and feel guilty but jigsaws take literally hours and hours to sort if you own lots. I gave up and binned 4 or so last year Constantly trying to sort them out made me irritable far too often

LegoDeathTrap · 28/12/2023 20:28

YANBU.

DS7 and DD5 mixed up their lovely new Lego sets before they even finished building them. I found a new Switch controller in the sofa the day after it was opened. Drives me insane.

I’ve given up on toys and just do other bits of the house while DH and DC sort toys. They are crap at it though so we end up in more mess. I just can’t make it “my” job or responsibility because then I’ll be permanently frustrated.

crumblingschools · 28/12/2023 20:31

Do the play with the Lego @LegoDeathTrap?

Derb · 28/12/2023 20:31

I always have a massive, tidy, sort and toy cull right before birthdays and Xmas.

I find my kids get overwhelmed with too much so we don't go overboard and buying more until we have space. Most goes to charity, given away or binned if can't be used.

Original poster
Malteasercheesecake · 28/12/2023 20:35

@Occasional2023 i can do the following

  1. chuck quite a lot.
  2. leave everything as it is
  3. Try to sort
  4. a mix of the above.

At no point have I said I am definitely going to do anything. But you keep coming back insisting I am going to throw it all away and why did I even ask Hmm to be honest, while it isn’t just the house getting me down, someone being like that for no good reason is pretty upsetting.

OP posts:
RoachFish · 28/12/2023 20:38

It’s pretty much all plastic toys. It will take hundreds of years for that to decompose on a landfill somewhere on the planet. If you are going to buy so many environmentally unfriendly things at least make sure they get maximum usage and sort them out and donate to a nursery or charity shop. It’s the only planet your children will have to live on.

ladybossmum · 28/12/2023 20:42

This is ridiculous! So you never throw away any missing or broken items at all because you’re saving the planet?
How about the fact that children can’t play effectively (which is an important part of their development) in a cluttered and overwhelmed space?

ladybossmum · 28/12/2023 20:43

@RoachFish nursery and charities don’t want other people's old crap that can’t actually be played with

SALWARP2023 · 28/12/2023 20:43

Are they your toys? If not then no you should not throw them away. However, try sorting through toys when you watch TV or are waiting for the dinner to cook. Broken stuff, throw away, otherwise, put lots in a box or bag and if the kids don't ask after them for 6 months, feel free to throw away. I actually find sorting and decluttering relaxing.

Original poster
Malteasercheesecake · 28/12/2023 20:46

I can’t think of a single particular toy DS has ever asked for. They are mostly cars, tractors, fire engines etc. I’m not suggesting throwing every single one out but he wouldn’t be devastated at the loss of a fire engine when he has about four others, if you see what I mean.

OP posts:
DragonCatcher · 28/12/2023 20:46

Put half of the good toys in to a large container or bag (bin bag will do!) and then put it away in storage (garage/loft/under the bed) so you only have half of them in your house. If your DC hasn't asked for any of the missing items by Easter, sell or donate them. Or, you could swap them so the stored ones become the play ones and continue like this every 3 to 4 months so it feels like new toys! Much more manageable for tidying too.

Anything with small parts goes in a small/medium/large labelled zip wallet. E.g. Duplo sets, all toy cars, animals, dinosaurs, colouring pens, jigsaws. Throw out any incomplete jigsaws. Throw out the jigsaw boxes and just cut out the front picture part so you know what the puzzle is and pop it in the zip wallet. Same for board games or the Orchard Toy games that are popular.

It will be a bit of a job initially but once it is done you will have so much less to clear away in the future that you'll thank yourself.

Original poster
Malteasercheesecake · 28/12/2023 20:47

And while I have bought DS some toys, I am definitely not the only or main culprit.

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 28/12/2023 20:49

Does it matter if he has 4 fire engines?

LegoDeathTrap · 28/12/2023 20:51

crumblingschools · 28/12/2023 20:31

Do the play with the Lego @LegoDeathTrap?

Yes, very nicely and imaginatively. But we have a box of general Lego pieces that we bought 4y ago, and another we inherited from a friend, so I wanted to keep the small sets (City, Friends, Starwars pieces) separate and neat. No way. In fact, we don’t buy them that anymore because it seems so wasteful to buy a special set and have it dissolve in the sea of pieces, but they still get them as presents.

Occasional2023 · 28/12/2023 20:52

DragonCatcher · 28/12/2023 20:46

Put half of the good toys in to a large container or bag (bin bag will do!) and then put it away in storage (garage/loft/under the bed) so you only have half of them in your house. If your DC hasn't asked for any of the missing items by Easter, sell or donate them. Or, you could swap them so the stored ones become the play ones and continue like this every 3 to 4 months so it feels like new toys! Much more manageable for tidying too.

Anything with small parts goes in a small/medium/large labelled zip wallet. E.g. Duplo sets, all toy cars, animals, dinosaurs, colouring pens, jigsaws. Throw out any incomplete jigsaws. Throw out the jigsaw boxes and just cut out the front picture part so you know what the puzzle is and pop it in the zip wallet. Same for board games or the Orchard Toy games that are popular.

It will be a bit of a job initially but once it is done you will have so much less to clear away in the future that you'll thank yourself.

Yes I think this kind of system works well. A bit of effort required initially but in the long run everything feels more manageable. When I had to do a sort out I had a plastic box to put bits that had got separated from the puzzle or game. Great sense of satisfaction to put a missing puzzle piece back into a toddler wooden puzzle and then decide if to keep or donate it to charity.(Having a close connection to a charity shop, I would never donate a broken toy or incomplete jigsaw.).

beetr00 · 28/12/2023 20:53

@Malteasercheesecake if you need to start again and establish a possibly, more rigorous "toy sifting" regime in the future, then do what's best for you.

It is understandably, overwhelming to have so much "stuff" that's not even complete, even if you would like to pass it on.

It is NOT awful, it is practical. Good luck

Original poster
Malteasercheesecake · 28/12/2023 20:54

@crumblingschools Of course it matters because I don’t live in Buckingham palace.

If that was the only thing that was a bit excessive that would be fine but as it is there are four huge boxes filled with toys, and four drawers, and that’s for one child (the baby isn’t massively into toys yet) but when she is it will get a bit out of control.

Believe me, I don’t want to be horrible or anything like that. But look at those photos - it really isn’t sustainable.

OP posts:
IfTheresTeaTheresHope · 28/12/2023 20:56

I don’t think that you should just throw away their possessions. My dad would cull my toys and I would get so upset, no matter how much I pleaded or loved a toy if he decided it had to go there was no negotiation. I couldn’t do it to my children, everything that they have got rid of has been their decision, I’d obviously explain broken toys or those with pieces missing weren’t any good and they would agree to dispose of those toys but anything else was their decision to keep or re home.

crumblingschools · 28/12/2023 20:58

I don’t think it looks that bad from the photos. What do you want to end up with?