To just throw out most of the toys and start over?

[Malteasercheesecake]

I know this is my own fault but we are in a toy nightmare. Countless jigsaws with missing pieces, toys that have several different pieces (eg toy car transporter with several different cars but all of them all over the place and don’t know how to find them amongst the several thousand other toy cars.)

Obviously some toys will survive the cull but is it really awful just to throw most of them away and start over?

You’re not unreasonable. We accumulated more and more and more stuff, every Christmas and birthday for the kids they would be gifted ‘stuff’ for the sake of it. Eventually this year, ahead of the summer holidays, I had a massive clear out. Some of it charity shop, some to the tip, some at the end of the drive with a Free sign on it (very effective).
I feel much calmer in the house, not clearing up ‘stuff’. The kids can only play with one thing at a time, and I rationed that down to what they actually played with - train tracks, Barbies, toot toot cars etc - and removed the stuff they didn’t that had been bought as presents just to pad it out - sticklebricks, paw patrol toys when they’d never watched it etc. It’s your house too, it should be a place you can relax, and the kids will be overwhelmed by choice when there’s too much.

No you spent so much money on it all get storage for it all and start organising it all

Also, storage is not always the answer. Storage encourages you to keep things you don’t want, because you’ve got somewhere to put it. A toy box, for example, would never work here - toys would be chucked in when not cared about. If I put something away in the cupboard, I might as well chuck it because out of sight, out of mind.

Personally….

I have found people who live in clutter with too much stuff often have poor / ineffective storage solutions. (Eg toy chest vs ikea Trofast)

I suggest you go through the toys and sort them you will find a lot of missing bits.
categorise into 3 piles

1. incomplete or damaged to be thrown away
2. incomplete but can be sold (eg 3 out 4 of sylvainian family or building blocks with a few bits missing) AND complete toys that can be sold
3. charity shop

For everything in group 2 my system is:
I price and list items to sell (what’s app groups or vinted or fb marketplace)
If it doesn’t sell after a week I halve the price or if too low value bundle with others and then halve the price.
If it doesn’t sell after 2 weeks it goes to charity.

Use the money raised to subsidise cost or buy better / appropriate toy storage that you can use to “cap” number of toys.
Once storage is full it’s a one in one out policy.

I do this about every 6 months and this makes sure I stay on top of it and the task of decluttering isn’t unmanageable.
Proper storage revolutionised things for me.

Op, I feel you, yes it is wasteful but I am in a similar spot - and realistically no, I am not going to sort it! I have a clingy 10 month old, a 3 year old and a 7 year old. I am barely on top of basic housework now and I'm back at work end of Jan.

I'm not going to bin ours - but I have put a load of stuff in boxes under beds. At least it feels more manageable now. It's all random pieces, not whole sets put away, but tough luck

I feel the same OP with our playmobil bits of it everywhere and they have so much of it it’s so hard to find anything in the big box of it so it never gets played with.

@Occasional2023 very easily! I often cull all the silly little bits and pieces we accumulate and give toys not played with to charity. You know which ones they like and which ones just get stuck in the cupboard or toy box taking up space. I also explain that the toys are going to other children to be played with more and often my children get involved and are very good at choosing things they don’t want anymore.

My children don’t even notice really and they have a lot more space to play and a happy Mum who isn’t overwhelmed by the clutter.
OP read some books by Joshua Becker on minimalism. It’s very freeing to let go of emotional attachment to “stuff” and have a house that can be easily tidied!

I genuinely don’t think there’s anything he has a sentimental attachment to (me on the other hand …)

@EmptyYoghurtPot i do feel that’s a bit unfair. Children typically behave differently in childcare settings to home. We go to toddler groups weekly and DS loves clearing up there. At home, he definitely doesn’t!

The problem with toy rotation is that I forget I’ve put things away. I know they play better with less though.

Put them in a box and, as you find odd pieces, add them to the box. It'll all marry up one day.

Maybe consider toy rotation to reduce the number available to your DC?

Involving your child in the decision making and telling them where the toys are going is fine. I don't have an issue with that. It's the people who say they do it behind their children's backs and don't allow them any say in it that I have a problem with. The OP hasn't said anything about allowing her child to be involved in the process. It sounds like she just intends to bin a whole load of things which I consider unkind and so extravagantly wasteful.

OP don’t be guilted into keeping all the old crap. Just get rid of the stuff that is making your life hard by being difficult to clear up. I wouldn't get rid of everything but definitely all the mismatched pieces! It’s too time consuming when you’ve got little children and they really don’t care. Just admit defeat to it and be free to have a tidy, uncluttered space.
Also be careful going forward to what you allow to come into the home and start some storage systems for things like that in the future e.g Lego.
I have well meaning relatives that bring a lot of crap round. I now just give it away or bin it if it’s making a huge mess or the children are not interested in it.
Theres a lot of people guilting you on this post but if you’re giving toys to charity and are recycling bits and pieces, you deserve to have a tidy space that doesn’t stress you out.

Photos attached …

@Occasional2023 he is only just three. If I told him that I was giving a bus he hadn’t looked at for years to charity he’d get in a tizz about it. But he wouldn’t actually miss the bus if you see what I mean.

But the OP has no intention of recycling or sending stuff to charity. She seems intent on just binning the lot.

If it isn’t something your little one would be upset about, I don’t see the harm. It’s your money and your space, of course you can. Maybe set a timer like 45 minutes… 30 mins won’t get much done and an hour might seem a lot. Put it all into one pile and then donate it, don’t just chuck it as that would be wasteful, put it on Facebook as free to collect or to take charity if it’s in a good condition. I’m naturally a very disorganised person, I have to really make a conscious effort with tidying up / keeping things nice. If you can, have a dedicated space for toys. The Ikea kallax storage systems are great. Keep on top of any toys, set a reminder on your phone each 6 months where you have an evening of just checking through any toys, donate anything that your little one has outgrown or no longer plays with. To help with things staying together, if you don’t already, make sure to tidy the toys away together every night, again set a 15 min timer, put some music on and it will be done before you know it

No, I’m not ‘intent’ on anything. I did say over the page that I wouldn’t if the consensus was unreasonable.

But look at those pictures. Giving to charity would just mean the charity shops had to sort through junk. And the situation isn’t sustainable.

I agree to not chuck things that they regularly play with, these may need sorting out, but you can’t keep everything especially all the silly bits and pieces that accumulate from party bags or you have no idea where they belong. Sometimes for your own sanity, you need to be the decision maker. I get very stressed if my house is a tip so see it as a way of being a better Mum to them. Tidy play space = happy mum!
You know which things they love and which bits they just spread around not really playing with.

Thanks @PinkMimi . We do have a dedicated space for toys but it’s just sort of exploding out of itself to be honest.

I mean for example, I wouldn’t get rid of the train set or a beloved teddy of course, but as it is it isn’t sustainable. He has a toy pizza set that he’s actually enjoying playing with but keeping it all together is impossible because of all the other rubbish.

As someone who works in a charity shop please, please don't donate incomplete/broken/etc. toys.

November, December and January are prime months for people having a clear out and often just tipping toy boxes into black bags and "donating" them. It takes us time to go through the donations and bin/recycle all the crap.

Yes, broken toys, half done colouring books, incomplete jigsaws etc. are crap.

Have you watched the minimal mom on YouTube for toy sorting? I found it useful. Hate the toy battle but it accumulates so fast

Yes I only give good quality or unopened things to charity.
The plastic bits and missing pieces go in the bin. Better than my house being used as a bin!

Or doesn't have hours or days to lose for missing jigsaw bits- she'd have to do all the jigsaws to work out what she was looking for too 😂

Try the "time will tell" box- pop some toys in there, if they don't ask for it within a time period (3 months/6 etc) then off it goes to charity/recycling/the big toy box in the sky.

So if you know he likes to play with the pizza stuff, then surely you could go through and get all the bits and put them together in one box or tray. I agree with the charity shop worker that they don't want broken or part toys and if you really can't go through to see if all the bits are there then throwing some stuff out is unavoidable. I get the distinct view that you had already decided what to do and wanted everyone to agree with you. Various people have suggested ways to sort through or keep things more tidily in the future but as an earlier respondent commented, you don't seem to want to hear those comments. I really hope that your son doesn't miss his toys but I get the impression that they toys will soon be gone and I still think it sets a poor precedent.

I like this idea.