To think that 6yo should not be playing on the street unsupervised?!

[raspberryjuiceandpompoms]

I have this long standing argument with my family who feel that I’m a helicopter parent. Apparently I should let my 6yo DS go play outside on his own in streets of our village as he’s on technology a lot otherwise. Apparently my family members did it and they turned out fine. I always say that it’s a survivor’s mistake and that he will be allowed to go out to play when he’s older (more like 10). But apparently I’m hindering his development and infantilising him. Just had another argument and I’m furious. But thinking maybe I AM wrong? I do tend to be weary of people taking him (for play dates for example, only if I know the parents, no sleepovers yet etc.) He can make himself a sandwich or cereal unsupervised but apparently I worry too much about his safety and that is why he cannot even make himself an omelette (like even why?!?).

I think it depends. My children would be outside at that age playing with the neighbourhood kids, but we live in a quiet cul-de-sac.
If we were near a main road it would be different.

It depends on the child and the area.

For some 6 year olds in some areas that's perfectly fine.

It was fine for one of mine but not the other.

There is not a fucking chance that my 6 yr old would be playing unsupervised in the street.

If I couldn't have a line of sight on her, she wouldn't be there. Even then, I'd prefer at least one parent of any kids playing was around.

Could be a car accident, could be bullying, could be a child sex offender .... In the last couple of months there's been two of them uncovered at my Mum's oh so respectable beach side caravan park near here, and one banned from the library from hanging around during kids activities etc. The list of offenders in this area is long. Posters who work in associated professions on here have said that ppl would be absolutely shocked at the prevalence of sex offending against kids and there is literally nearly an offender on every street. Where I lived before there was an odd youngish man who always wore combats, he had an introverted vibe,slightly off, I was always polite when I passed him, he seemed uncomfortable saying hello; he turned out to be a convicted child sex offender.

Older people are very naive about this ...... it never happened in my day.n Sure it did, half the stuff was never even reported. Child sex offenders were comicalised and minimised as "dirty old men" and kids half blamed for becoming their victims through innocence or not being fight-y enough.

Whoever's made these comments is bat shit.

You also take him for playdates.

2.5 hrs doesn't seem much to me but clearly it does to others. It's difficult if they won't play with other stuff by themselves and their sibling is too young to play and you e got stuff to do.

Silly comments from a silly individual.

These threads always go the same way. 😂

Mine did younger but private cul de sac penultimate house and person at the end d didn't have a car (my kids played with hers) then moved to another cul de sac where all the kids played out (nearly every house had kids at the primary school). Safety in numbers definitely

that is why he cannot even make himself an omelette (like even why?!?)

A 6 yr old .... Frying an omlette.

Who the fk let's 6 yr olds make themselves omlettes. With spattering high temperature cooking oil.

Is this person preparing their kid for the special services or armageddon or something. Trying to make them mini adults.

I agree with you, I wouldn't have let my four play in the street unsupervised at that age, even when we lived in a cul de sac or a very quiet street. Fortunately we've always had quite large gardens so they've been able to play outside 'safety' without a problem (which didn't stop my eldest falling out of a tree and breaking his arm!) but not in the street and certainly not now, the main danger is cars and cyclists and these scooters on the pavement. When I was a young girl in the 1970s we played outside all the time and walked up to the park but roads and pavements are a lot, lot busier now.

To be honest, it was quite dangerous then!

Yes, think this is spot on really.

make his own mistakes

What mistakes are those - round here kids not much younger than him make the mistakes like veering into the road on their bikes and running behind vehicles, their families are celebrating Christmas without them.

Most kids don't have a tap of sense til they're a lot older than 6.

Teach them all about road safety and then see what they do if their mate appears on the other side of the road, or a pup, or an ice cream van.

@Ladolcevita233 so glad to see comments like this on this thread.

Depends on the street. We lived in a quiet close when mine were little and there was always a gaggle of kids out there playing, some younger than that. The busy road I live on now you could never let kids out to play.

I let mine play out without supervision at 5 and nearly 8, but we live in a quiet cul de sac. I wouldn’t let the 5yr old do this without her big sister but eldest was probably 6-7 when I started letting her go out and scoot/cycle up and down herself. They know they’re not allowed beyond the end of the street and I trust them on that. Our last home was on a busy street so I wouldn’t if we still lived there.

LolaSmiles what's a high risk area to you?
High crime, busy roads, probably also considering the other children they're with, time of day, whether the area they're playing in is a known rat run for those horrible electric motorbikes and so on.

The most refreshing thing for me as a parenting was something in book about how parents assess risk and how often humans are actually quite bad at assessing risk.
For example, you only have to look on threads on here where people obsess about stranger danger regarding adults who seek out children to harm them, but the biggest risk to a child is from family members or family friends known to the parents.
Or look at the number of parents who won't let their children play on a field with friends close to the house, but hand their KS2 children a smart phone or let them chat to whoever on Roblox and other online games.

It also depends on the children's previous experiences, for example if they've been allowed to have appropriately supervised free play from a young age without a parent helicoptering over them, they've been developing their sense of bodily awareness, risk, and problem solving skills in a way that a child with a helicopter parent saying "careful, watch out" and hovering all the time won't. I can't remember where I read it now but it was very interesting to read that children who are allowed to test their limits and learn about risk are actually less likely to have bad injuries as older children compared to children who have more adult facilitated play.

TLDR: depends on the area, contextual factors and the children involved.

1. No I wouldn't allow them to be out on their own at their age.
2. 2.5 hrs technology a day is 17.5 hours a week in front of a screen. That in my opinion, is too much. Some will disagree.
3. It's fine for a child to be bored.
4. If he whinges and then you entertain him or give him a screen, then you aren't helping him find ways to look for other things to do.
5. Make an omelette? No but mine would make fairy cakes using an old pair of scales (they could read the 4oz bit) and a lot of mess. I would then be the person to pop it into the oven. It was carnage but it used to keep them occupied for ages.

Depends on the 'streets'. Free to go wherever? Nope. Staying within an agreed area without major roads? Sure.

Agree.

We started with an agreed perimeter that gradually expanded, age appropriately, as they got older.

Depends on the 'streets'. Free to go wherever? Nope. Staying within an agreed area without major roads? Sure.
Agreed

We started with an agreed perimeter that gradually expanded, age appropriately, as they got older.
Agree with this too.

Thanks for everyone’s replies! Especially those who disagree because it shows that the argument is valid.
To those who say 2.5 hours is too much… it may well depend on the child. My DS is working ‘above average’ at every topic at school, quite good at sports and has plenty of friends so it doesn’t really damage him.

From who? And what would SS even do?

to those who say 2.5 hours is too much… it may well depend on the child. My DS is working ‘above average’ at every topic at school, quite good at sports and has plenty of friends so it doesn’t really damage him.

Its way way more than this! You are setting screen addiction habits that will stay with him for life. Just because he does well at school doesn't mean it isn't damaging. The fact that he struggles to play independently with toys shows already that its impacting his attention span for less stimulating activities.

My 6yo does in a quiet cul de sac in a small rural town. He is the youngest of 3 and I didn’t let my eldest play out until she as much older which I regret now as I feel she missed out on some of the skills my younger 2 have developed from having a bit more independence and the enjoyment they get from it.
Of course it’s easier with the younger children as we already know a lot of the other kids in the street now and he has an older sibling playing out at the same time who will keep an eye on him as well (yes - child supervising a child, a major crime according to mumsnet, however older children have been looking after their siblings since the dawn of time so I won’t guilty about mine doing the same). I know where he is all the time and he had very strict boundaries of where he’s allowed to go. Me and other parents on the street will also communicate fairly regularly to check if we can see each others kids if they go out of sight.
Ds got 3 way walkie talkies for Xmas and it’s been hilarious and amazing having one at home occasionally and being able to listen to the kids playing together and getting a little inside glimpse into their world and how they sort themselves out!

I let my 4 (nearly 5) year old play out in the summer, but we live in a quiet cul de sac in a small hamlet and everyone else has children of various ages who all play together. I can also see him through windows at two sides of the house, and there's usually at least one parent in the vicinity keeping a vague eye out.

If I couldn't see him the majority of the time, or if we lived on a road and not a cul de sac there's no way he would be out unsupervised!

We live in a village and in a dead end so the older children used to play with their friends across the road inbetween us. We felt this was fine, we’ve now moved and live up a country lane so it’s no longer possible but we have a huge garden (half an acre) and the 4 year old goes wherever they want in the garden without constant supervision but I do keep an eye if I’m not outside.

I think it depends on where you live, if you know people, who comes up the road etc. would I do it in a town or city, absolutely not.