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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my DP deserves zero sympathy for his injury

74 replies

Lightsideofthemoon · 28/12/2023 12:35

My DP went out on his work do a few days before Xmas, got completely shit faced and broke 2 ribs. I had to take him to A&E on Xmas eve. This was after i asked him not to get too drunk as he can’t handle his booze and something stupid always happens as he doesn’t really drink much anymore.!

It’s ruined Xmas really as he’s not been able to do anything - he’s also been off his face on pain killers and keeps falling asleep. I have done everything - catered, looked after the kids, cooked. I’ve had no down time and no break from cooking. Am pretty fucked off. He had a go at me yesterday because of my lack of sympathy. I did lose it a bit to be honest!

Aibu? He’s a dick!

OP posts:
Rainallnight · 28/12/2023 12:37

That would give me the ick.

YANBU

Olika · 28/12/2023 12:38

Sympathy for him getting so wasted that he broke 2 ribs? Absolutely not. Poor you.

Nothingbuttheglory · 28/12/2023 12:40

How exactly did the injury happen?

quietlyplease · 28/12/2023 12:41

How much sympathy does he need? Presumably the first day you were like aww That sucks even if it is your own fault. But how long does he want you to be sympathetic for? It just is what it is now.

Original poster
Lightsideofthemoon · 28/12/2023 12:41

@Nothingbuttheglory he can’t really remember but he fell over something when he was out, possibly a table or a bin.

OP posts:
Santaisscouringindeedfornewjob · 28/12/2023 12:41

I had an accident sober 2 weeks ago. Haven't had much sympathy but got on with it as we have all been so busy.. Your dh is a knob. Guessing you know that already op.

Ibex22 · 28/12/2023 12:42

No, there wouldn't be any sympathy from me.

He seems to have his priorities a little confused too. Where is his sympathy for you? He's been laying on the sofa off his face on painkillers whilst you do all the Xmas grunt work. He should be thanking you!!

Original poster
Lightsideofthemoon · 28/12/2023 12:43

@Ibex22 i can’t even look at him to be honest.

OP posts:
quietlyplease · 28/12/2023 12:43

I think I'm bit soft. I'd still be sympathetic in day 1 and help him recover but I wouldn't be over doing it and being all like LET ME HELP YOU. What do you need! That's becuase my husband has limited capacity to be sympathetic when it's me that's injured though.

Foxblue · 28/12/2023 12:46

Nope, not much sympathy from me either - if it was a one-off, yes - but he has a history of it! It's impacted his ability to pull his weight at home! Can't believe he had the audacity to have a go at you tbh, hilarious

EveryKneeShallBow · 28/12/2023 12:49

I tripped over in the street recently, and cracked a rib because I fell onto my handbag. But I was too embarrassed to admit it, so I didn’t tell anyone, even though it meant I couldn’t dress myself for two days, or cook for myself. No one found out, and I wasn’t even drunk!🥴

FlyingCherub · 28/12/2023 12:49

Why on earth should you show him any level of sympathy given that he's effectively ruined his own Christmas and yours?! I would also being having words over his drinking if this is a regular occurence. He clearly can't tolerate large amounts of alcohol. Tell him to grow up, he's a father not a teenager.

Iouis · 28/12/2023 12:50

I'd be totally sympathetic towards my DH if he had a Christmas do, got too drunk and fell. But there's no back story of my DH doing shit like that and we have a great relationship, so that's why I'd feel that way.

Americano75 · 28/12/2023 12:54

Lol, fuck off pal.

MorningSunshineSparkles · 28/12/2023 13:20

I’d give anyone with broken ribs sympathy, especially someone I loved, regardless of how they broke them. I think it’s awful so many people wouldn’t show a loved one sympathy while in pain.

DyslexicPoster · 28/12/2023 13:29

I think I'd sympathetic for a day or two if he acknowledged his stupid and caused it. If he didn't he wouldn't dare get the grump with me "oh I'm so sorry you got pissed, could not handle your drink then landed yourself in hospital on Christmas eve. Its truly a heartbreakingly unfair turn of events you poor victim of life. Its as if life is fighting against your best efforts isn't it you poor child"

XenaTheWarriorPrincess · 28/12/2023 13:45

Nah, I'd be sympathetic if he was sober and had an accident but he was drunk so it was his own fault.

He purposefully impaired his judgement, hurt himself because of it and now wants sympathy for it? What a silly goose.

I rarely have sympathy for people who injure themselves while drunk, including myself.

houseonthehill · 28/12/2023 13:49

It's normal to be sympathetic if your partner has hurt themselves, isn't it?

SamphiretheTervosaurReturneth · 28/12/2023 13:57

You can be sympathetic for the pain they are in whilst not being able to look at them without wanting to spit because of their actions.

Getting rat arsed and injuring yourself just before Christmas, leaving your partner to run around after you, losing your help for the holidays, maybe cancelling arrangements (let alone spending Christmas eve in a+e) and having to shoulder all the workload including kids isn't something many people would be able to easily gloss over with a permanently sunny smile.

Soubriquet · 28/12/2023 13:59

Serves him right really

booktokbear · 28/12/2023 14:01

houseonthehill · 28/12/2023 13:49

It's normal to be sympathetic if your partner has hurt themselves, isn't it?

Not if they did it while hammered and you'd already said, "please don't drink too much as something stupid always happens" Nope, no sympathy. Or patience.

Workawayxx · 28/12/2023 14:05

I wouldn’t expect sympathy if I fucked up Christmas with a drunken injury, I’d be apologising non stop and letting you know I’d make it up to you. Has he expressed sympathy for you having to do everything?

theresastormcoming · 28/12/2023 14:08

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OhmygodDont · 28/12/2023 14:08

Nah it’s his own stupid fault.

Just like I have zero sympathy when someone needs say their drivers license for work but loses it because twat driving. Self inflicted stupid gets no sympathy.

OhmygodDont · 28/12/2023 14:09

Also why’s he off his face I. Pain killers? Dh broke two ribs the other year sober. Was at work the next day just ibuprofen and paracetamol.