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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my DP deserves zero sympathy for his injury

74 replies

Lightsideofthemoon · 28/12/2023 12:35

My DP went out on his work do a few days before Xmas, got completely shit faced and broke 2 ribs. I had to take him to A&E on Xmas eve. This was after i asked him not to get too drunk as he can’t handle his booze and something stupid always happens as he doesn’t really drink much anymore.!

It’s ruined Xmas really as he’s not been able to do anything - he’s also been off his face on pain killers and keeps falling asleep. I have done everything - catered, looked after the kids, cooked. I’ve had no down time and no break from cooking. Am pretty fucked off. He had a go at me yesterday because of my lack of sympathy. I did lose it a bit to be honest!

Aibu? He’s a dick!

OP posts:
ValerieDoonican · 28/12/2023 15:57

I injured myself during a holiday once, due to a slightly stupid decision. I apologised non-stop and did my best to ensure everyone else had as nice a time as possible despite my shameful foolishness. Because I was, you know, aware of the effect my actions had had on other people.

Your dh should be mortified and fully apologetic. The fact he isn't suggests he is incapable of the simple task of imagining what other people might feel like in a given situation. This is something children ought to be able to grasp around the age of eight or so.

Get him to google "theory of mind" and suggest he spends his time on the sofa trying to develop one.

Snowdogsmitten · 28/12/2023 16:05

Lightsideofthemoon · 28/12/2023 14:37

@TequilaNights accidents do happen. The last time he did something similar when the kids were younger he nearly burnt the house down by making toast under the grill, falling asleep at the kitchen table, setting off the smoke alarms and filling the kitchen with black smoke at 1am. I couldn’t wake him up either.

He’s a dick when he drinks.

He sounds like a dick full stop. Ugh. What a twat.

ginasevern · 28/12/2023 17:16

MorningSunshineSparkles · 28/12/2023 13:20

I’d give anyone with broken ribs sympathy, especially someone I loved, regardless of how they broke them. I think it’s awful so many people wouldn’t show a loved one sympathy while in pain.

Yes, everyone on here would show a loved one sympathy if they were in pain but this man got paralytically drunk just before Christmas when he was implicity asked not to. Nobody held a gun to his head and made him get in that state. He has now ruined Christmas for his family and increased the workload for his partner because of his purely hedonistic desire to get shit face drunk. Do you honestly think that's OK?

puncheur · 28/12/2023 17:20

Laid up on the sofa in painkillers for a couple of cracked ribs? What a wuss. Surprised you even took him to A+E, there’s nothing you can do for cracked ribs except harden the fuck up and get on with life - seems he didn’t get that message.

rwalker · 28/12/2023 17:35

I wouldn’t be particularly sympathetic

but I wouldn’t stomping about passive aggressive and full of its your own fault , I told u so and sulking

im sure he didn’t do it on purpose and also one day u might be in a similar situation drink related or not

LakieLady · 28/12/2023 17:40

I broke a rib in a drink-related fall many years ago. It was fucking excruciating, it even hurt to pee and getting on and off the toilet.

Consequently, I'd be sympathetic.

Prelapsarianhag · 28/12/2023 17:47

Broken ribs hurt like fuck - might teach him a lesson.

RachelSTG · 28/12/2023 17:49

OneTC · 28/12/2023 14:18

How do you get off your face on 60mg codeine?

I probably would as I'm not used to painkillers. All down to individual tolerance levels surely

HulaChick · 28/12/2023 17:52

Well, the co-codamol should give him massive constipation which should be fun with broken ribs, so perhaps some karma coming!!!

colouringindoors · 28/12/2023 17:52

He's a complete dick. And I only hope the 12% that think he's not are men!

Coolhwip · 28/12/2023 17:54

Lightsideofthemoon · 28/12/2023 12:43

@Ibex22 i can’t even look at him to be honest.

Dump him so you never have to have him in your home again.

houseonthehill · 28/12/2023 19:58

Yeah. Punch him in the ribs then laugh.

DonnaBanana · 28/12/2023 20:01

It’s a personal thing. If you would be okay with him expressing no sympathy if you injured yourself through your own misadventure then fill your boots

Radiatorvalves · 28/12/2023 20:07

Totally self inflicted injury and no sympathy from me. I had to take codeine after an op and it was pretty floaty and nice…. And then I got the most painful awful constipation ever. I ate buckets of prunes, welcomed a nurse who gave me a suppository and never touched another pill. Maybe his “fun” isn’t over yet.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 28/12/2023 20:38

LakieLady · 28/12/2023 17:40

I broke a rib in a drink-related fall many years ago. It was fucking excruciating, it even hurt to pee and getting on and off the toilet.

Consequently, I'd be sympathetic.

I broke some ribs trying to get into the house quietly (succeeded, too - until I tripped over the dog as he was in OH MY GOD YOU'RE HOME mode).

Consequently, I'd have no sympathy whatsoever.

randomusername2020 · 28/12/2023 21:31

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Beandoodle · 28/12/2023 22:12

puncheur · 28/12/2023 17:20

Laid up on the sofa in painkillers for a couple of cracked ribs? What a wuss. Surprised you even took him to A+E, there’s nothing you can do for cracked ribs except harden the fuck up and get on with life - seems he didn’t get that message.

Broken ribs can be one of the most painful injuries.....hurts to take every breath, some people end up on HDU with an epidural and go on to develop pneumonia as they can't cough effectively. Not an injury to be taken lightly.

Ohnotyoutoo · 28/12/2023 22:15

"Urgh, it hurts."
"Boo bloody hoo."

Snowfalling · 28/12/2023 22:17

Lightsideofthemoon · 28/12/2023 14:37

@TequilaNights accidents do happen. The last time he did something similar when the kids were younger he nearly burnt the house down by making toast under the grill, falling asleep at the kitchen table, setting off the smoke alarms and filling the kitchen with black smoke at 1am. I couldn’t wake him up either.

He’s a dick when he drinks.

This is shocking and so so scary. Have you watched Manchester by the sea? I suggest you and dp watch it.

Londonrach1 · 28/12/2023 22:20

Broken ribs are very painful and it hurts to breathe in and out so yes I give support even if he was an idiot how he got the injury

Copperoliverbear · 28/12/2023 22:21

You are not being unreasonable he is a childish fool at his age, if he'd have been acting like a sensible adult he wouldn't have been in this position. X

Catsknowbest · 28/12/2023 22:26

I hurt myself badly a couple of years ago, drunk....😳😳 It was 110% my fault yes I suffered but boy did I not want or expect sympathy from anyone! And never done it again that's for sure. YANBU

Faz469 · 29/12/2023 00:17

I fell down the stairs last year. Broke 3 ribs (at the back) and my wrist.

I had 6 weeks off work (because of the wrist), as I needed to be able to wash my hands.

In the time I was off work, I packed for a house move, deep cleaned the house, walked the dog every day (rottweiler), and managed to get pregnant within the first week. Yes, broken ribs are painful, but they're not that bloody painful. I managed on ibuprofen and paracetamol because I don't like codeine.

He's sounds like a prat.

Phonedown · 29/12/2023 00:24

My sympathy levels would match his contrition and his effort to get on with Christmas. So if he apologised profusely and still tries to make himself as useful as he could then I'd be more sympathetic. If he is lying around doing nothing and expecting sympathy then he'd get none. My partner once broke a rib after falling out the bath (completely sober) - the next day he took a couple of paracetamol and helped put up three tents.

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