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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my DP deserves zero sympathy for his injury

74 replies

Lightsideofthemoon · 28/12/2023 12:35

My DP went out on his work do a few days before Xmas, got completely shit faced and broke 2 ribs. I had to take him to A&E on Xmas eve. This was after i asked him not to get too drunk as he can’t handle his booze and something stupid always happens as he doesn’t really drink much anymore.!

It’s ruined Xmas really as he’s not been able to do anything - he’s also been off his face on pain killers and keeps falling asleep. I have done everything - catered, looked after the kids, cooked. I’ve had no down time and no break from cooking. Am pretty fucked off. He had a go at me yesterday because of my lack of sympathy. I did lose it a bit to be honest!

Aibu? He’s a dick!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lightsideofthemoon · 28/12/2023 14:10

Honestly, I was sympathetic at the start but I have lost sympathy as the days of him sitting about off his tits on pain killers have gone on and sleeping constantly while I cook and entertain the kids. He got my wrath earlier.

OP posts:
DuplicateUserName · 28/12/2023 14:11

YANBU really.

It's shocking how many threads I've read this Christmas where OP's cannot handle their drink and are getting absolutely shit faced.

Puking up, groping colleagues, missing the last train, saying really inappropriate things and dreading going back to work etc.

But equally so many supportive comments along the lines of 'Don't worry, we've all done it' 🤷‍♂️

Original poster
Lightsideofthemoon · 28/12/2023 14:12

@OhmygodDont hospital gave him co- codamol 🤪

OP posts:
Myrighteyeball · 28/12/2023 14:14

If he was quite apologetic and this was the first time anything like this had happened, then I'd be sympathetic. Even if it was the second time, I'd grit my teeth and help him as required.

Otherwise, nope. I'd not do one thing for him and his stupid broken ribs. Assuming he could get himself around a bit, I'd not get him food, or painkillers, or so much as a drink of water. Fuck men who make a habit of doing stupid shit, hurting themselves and then having to be waited on hand and foot and disrupting family life for weeks while they heal.

Fuck them right in the eye.

YANBU OP. At all.

Whatwouldscullydo · 28/12/2023 14:18

I'd have no sympathy either. Theres no need as an adult outside pf their early 20s to get so wasted they hurt themselves. Once you have families and responsibilities its not ok to assume your significant other is going to pick up the slack with running a home/looking after the kids etc on top of their work , because you are either so hungover as to be useless the next day or you get hurt. Or both. Its a big fuck you.

OneTC · 28/12/2023 14:18

How do you get off your face on 60mg codeine?

rainbowstardrops · 28/12/2023 14:18

He's having a laugh isn't he?!!! A couple of months or so ago, something went weird with my shoulder and neck and it was so, so painful for days. I dosed myself up on codeine etc and got on with it. Tell him to get up off his pathetic arse and soldier on like most of us do!

Lavenderflower · 28/12/2023 14:18

If this was the first time, I would be sympathetic but it sounds like he cannot handle alcohol. He needs to take some responsibility. I have colleagues who cannot handle their drink; so annoying.

Original poster
Lightsideofthemoon · 28/12/2023 14:20

@OneTC How do you get off your face on 60mg codeine

Its just making him sleep all the time- which is annoying me even more

OP posts:
SeaToSki · 28/12/2023 14:22

It sounds like he needs to stop with the cocodamol as he is particularly sensitive to it. Maybe a switch to solpadeine would be better for him. I also subscribe to the theory that if you are hurt/injured, you should try and still feel a little bit of the pain rather than trying to be pain free, as it reminds you to be careful and not potentially worsen the i jury by doing too much as you cant feel it anymore

Sparklfairy · 28/12/2023 14:22

Lightsideofthemoon · 28/12/2023 14:20

@OneTC How do you get off your face on 60mg codeine

Its just making him sleep all the time- which is annoying me even more

My DM slept for 3 days straight on co-codamol when she broke her ribs. It had no effect (apart from some pain relief) on me when I broke mine!

XenaTheWarriorPrincess · 28/12/2023 14:26

Co codamol can be addictive, so try to get him to switch to ibuprofen if he's that sensitive to it he's off his face. How long has he been taking it? Should only have a 3 day supply

Original poster
Lightsideofthemoon · 28/12/2023 14:29

@XenaTheWarriorPrincess hes been taking it on and off -partly for those addiction reasons and partly because I asked him to take something else to stop him falling asleep.

OP posts:
MinnieGirl · 28/12/2023 14:30

OneTC · 28/12/2023 14:18

How do you get off your face on 60mg codeine?

I am totally wasted after 5mg… I just cannot take Codeine.

TequilaNights · 28/12/2023 14:32

Accidents happen. People get drunk.

I think your being a little too harsh on him.

He didn't plan for that to happen.

Original poster
Lightsideofthemoon · 28/12/2023 14:37

@TequilaNights accidents do happen. The last time he did something similar when the kids were younger he nearly burnt the house down by making toast under the grill, falling asleep at the kitchen table, setting off the smoke alarms and filling the kitchen with black smoke at 1am. I couldn’t wake him up either.

He’s a dick when he drinks.

OP posts:
Baldieheid · 28/12/2023 14:48

I'd have sympathy with a normal everyday accident that didn't involve being pissed. Being left to do everything because my DH couldn't find the appropriate place to call one evening to a halt would make me mad as hell.

LangMayYerLumReek2024 · 28/12/2023 14:50

I rather like my DH so I'd be sympathetic to broken bones.

pictoosh · 28/12/2023 14:57

Ah I'd be sympathetic to my husband under these circumstances...but he's not a drunken arse normally, so I'd be kind.

Toesaresoweird · 28/12/2023 15:06

DH got shit faced eve before Christmas eve. Spent all Christmas eve in bed. I couldn't look at him either and he didn't even break two ribs. I lost my shit later in the day. He came down to ask why I hoovered near his head. I snapped but didn't fart.
I said since he was acting like a toddler he'd be treated as such. I had zero sympathy, let him know I'd been busting my arse off all day with the kids. That it wasn't acceptable and in future, if I was nice enough to make him lunch, I'm going to cut his sandwiches up like he's 3 because that's what we are dealing with.

@Lightsideofthemoon YANBU

WhereYouLeftIt · 28/12/2023 15:18

So his work do was "a few days before Xmas" - which means you've now been putting up with this for best part of a weekShock?

You are a saint. His injury is self-inflicted, and frankly I'd expect him to be stepping up to parenting duties by now. If codeine makes him sleep I'd be insisting he use something else (Yes - I really would. I'd send him to the chemist to talk through his alternatives with the pharmacist.)

randomusername2020 · 28/12/2023 15:29

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Myrighteyeball · 28/12/2023 15:29

Exactly this. Assuming he's had no complications he ought to sort more suitable medication and get on with it, it's been at least a week. This alone would make any modicum of sympathy dry up entirely.

randomusername2020 · 28/12/2023 15:33

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Soubriquet · 28/12/2023 15:42

Lightsideofthemoon · 28/12/2023 14:37

@TequilaNights accidents do happen. The last time he did something similar when the kids were younger he nearly burnt the house down by making toast under the grill, falling asleep at the kitchen table, setting off the smoke alarms and filling the kitchen with black smoke at 1am. I couldn’t wake him up either.

He’s a dick when he drinks.

Shitting hell.

If this was me, I would never drink again. The thought of nearly killing my kids would terrify me